I’ve been working on my personal statement for quite a few weeks now and I’d appreciate any honest critical feedback as to what I should work on/improve before I submit the final draft to colleges!
MODERATOR’S NOTE: Link deleted. See my note below.
Thank you!!
it says web page isn’t avaliable
Sorry about that! 
Updated the privacy settings.
Or do you mean the link itself? It shortened it for some reason.
I would suggest you not post this. If you want people to give you feedback, have them pm you and you can sendthem a version. I’d take it down!
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
Links to google docs are not allowed. Additionally, you really should not post essays for everybody to see. If you want to solicit opinions here and send interested users the link via PM, fine, but the posting of the link itself is not allowed.