<p>This is my personal statement for UC's, i'm still working on it so i would really appreciate feedback. i want to know if the general idea is good, if the structure is correct,if there are any grammar mistakes and in what tense i should write it in. i'm confused as to if i'm supposed to write it in the present tense.also, does it have enough imagery and details? it's still a work in progess so feel free to make any suggestions on how to make strenghten it. thanks.</p>
<p>I got on the plane from Mexico to L.A with my mom, my younger brother, and only one backpack with a pair of clothes, a portable TV my mom had given me as a gift, my brothers blue game boy and my moms stuff. The excitement was overwhelming, I felt as if a dozen tiny ants were walking in my stomach. My younger brother and I were coming to the U.S to visit an amusement park with my mom. I lived with my dad and the rest of my siblings because my parents had divorced and my mom was living in the U.S and came back and forth every 6 months to visit me and my brother. This time seemed no different, she picked me and my brother up from my dads house and took us to our older sisters house in Guadalajara for the weekend to do fun stuff around the city. This time I noticed my mom and my sister taking secretively for a long time until they told me and my brother that we were getting on a plane and that we were going to a really fun amusement park with my mom here in the U.S. me and my brother jumped up and down with joy thinking of all the fun we would have. We arrived at the airport, got off the van and said goodbye to our sister. We got on the plane and I saw as it slowly ascended and lifted towards the sky. We arrived to L.A and got off the plane and out of the airport. It was very warm and sunny outside and there wasnt much around. I had no idea where to go, so I waited for my mom to figure out which bus to take. As we boarded the bus i sat next to the window, my mom sat next to me and my brother sat in the seat behind us. My brother and I began to ask my mom about the amusement park and about the rides with a lit up Innocent look on our faces. she looked at us and said guess what?, we looked at her and she told us that we werent going back to Mexico, that from now on we were going to live in the U.S with her. My first reaction was denial and disbelief, but a she began to sound serious and began explaining that this was for the best, the news began to sink in. How could I have been so gullible? But I was only nine and still very innocent, I had really believed that we would go back to Mexico at the end of the weekend. As she told us with a decisive tone we are not going back, a shiver ran down my spine and tears rolled down my cheek endlessly. The news hit me like a bucket of ice water. I felt my fragile happy world collapsing around me. I heard my younger brother in the seat behind mine cheering with joy, as he happily accepted the change. I remember thinking to myself what is wrong with him? Doesnt he realize that we just got ripped away from everything we had? I started thinking about my family, friends and school, I did not even get a chance to say goodbye to anyone or to bring any of my stuff with me. Its as if i had disappeared all of the sudden, no one even knew I would not go back, not even my dad. A river of tears continued to flow from my eyes obstructing my view, as warm salty tears ran around my cheeks. I tried to keep my eyes looking out the window because I was embarrassed of the people in the bus seeing me cry. I turned my head to the side stared out the window as I saw the streets passing by and the life I once knew grow farther and farther away from my grasp, slipping from my hands while I sat there in a deep swallowing silence that consumed my thoughts. I opened my mouth but the words would not come out. I felt a huge weight on my throat almost like a very dense coin was stuck between my jaw and my throat. The bus came to a stop, it was a warm and sunny day and we got off at a small park. My mom, my brother and I sat under a big tree that was surrounded by a circle of plain concrete. As my mom continued to explain why we had left everything behind to come to the U.S, I turned on a small portable TV that I had brought with me. It was black; it had a silver antenna, and a small screen. I sat down and looked for a channel to watch but I could hardly even see the screen because my eyes were flooded in tears. I found a clear visible channel showing the Rugglats movie and as my mom continued talking, I tried to drown out her voice by concentrating on the movie that was playing but I couldnt. Her words pierced trough my heart and shattered the world around me. The world I had grown up in was far out of my reach and I was lost in a completely new life. I could not help but think that my misfortune was my moms fault, and my resentment prevented me from talking to her.
I had left everything behind and I had to start from zero. As much as I wanted, tears wouldnt stop running down my face, but after a while I realized that there was nothing I could do but start over and make the best of what I had. We moved to Hayward and I enrolled in school and I tried to learn English as fast as I could, all my classes at school were in English and I listened to Spanish to English tapes all the day long. I learned Basic English within a year and I quickly turned my life around. I began to catch up academically with the rest of my peers and I began to take advantage of the opportunities that presented themselves. I became involved in school programs and It was then when I became more interested in school and where my desire for a better life flourished. I never missed class; I learned a lot about myself and about life in general. I noticed how my grades in school began to raise and that I began to enjoy school a lot more. Looking back, even though coming to the United States meant letting go of a lot of the things I loved, Im grateful that my mom brought us with her because it was because of her that I was able to discover and reach my full potential. I was able to take advantage of great opportunities around me and join a lot of great after school programs that enhanced my education and my life. Letting go of the things you love to begin a new life full of great opportunities can open many doors and can turn out even better. Even if to this day, having left my family and life in Mexico is still tough, I wouldnt change the things Ive done and Ive accomplish to become the person I am now.</p>