My personal statment for UC

<p>Can anyone read my essay and give some feedbacks?
I am studying at a community college now and want to transfer to UCB/USD/UCLA/UCSD for Fall 07. I struggled for a long time just to start the essay because i never wrote something like that before. Yesterday I wrote something finally. I wrote about 200 words for each question because i can't decide where i should write the 600 words part. Can someone read my essay and give me some idea to write and improve please?</p>

<p>Thx........</p>

<p>can anyone do me this favor?
I need it to be done as soon as possible because i have it done in this Thursday.</p>

<p>please help me here:(</p>