<p>Here are my gripes with him:
-Always in the room, never leaves.
-Has the TV playing loudly whenever he is not in class, so pretty much all day.
-Eats in the room, orders takeout and then throws it into garbage cans without bags and doesn't empty them often, so the room smells.
-Intense personality so I don't feel comfortable telling him to do stuff</p>
<p>Because of a combination of these factors (mostly the loud TV which prevents studying), I am only in the room when I wake up and when I go to sleep at 12:00am. </p>
<p>I recently sent him an email (he is at home the weekend) telling him to bring garbage bags for his cans and a rag from home so I could dust the room and I got a really ugly response from him, so it's going down. Do you have any advice for me?</p>
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<p>Well, if you don’t have the backbone to ask politely for what you want, then engage the RA if your roommate is uncooperative, then you won’t see any improvement.</p>
<p>If you want to dust – go to a local drugstore or grocery stores, you will find some washable rags there. I would not have asked him for that particular item, but don’t think that is your biggest issue.</p>
<p>Even if you think requesting changes won’t work, or getting the RA involved won’t work, you probably need do these things if you want to request a room change. I would get started on it, as it is easiest to change rooms at the semester break when students are going abroad, etc. At most colleges more students go abroad in the spring than fall, so there can be a bit of a break in housing logjams at the winter break point. But sometimes you need your RA’s backing to move, so you will need to confront this issue or live with it.</p>
<p>It’s difficult for me to get to a Wal-Mart to buy a rag because I am not from here and that would be at least a 2 hour ordeal with buses. I know at my house we have a bin of like 100 old rags, so I don’t see why it would be difficult to grab one, especially when I am doing the cleaning. It seemed to offend him, though.</p>
<p>By the way, I did ask politely for what I want (regularly emptied garbage cans with bags), and I also asked him to vacuum the floor since he eats in the room so much and I found a cockroach on my desk. I got negative responses both times. Now you know why I am hesitant to ask. He has an aggressive personality.</p>
<p>Have you discussed the TV on/volume? You could ask that he please use headphones unless you are both watching something or he has friends over. He probably will say no. But then I think you should talk to the RA, and ask what it would take to change rooms at the semester break.</p>
<p>talk to the RA NOW! You need to have another person involved so that the KING doesn’t blame you.<br>
If the RA doesn’t do squat (like my dd’s RA), tell the RA you plan to go to the Housing office. You are paying dorm fees too and you have a right to LIVE in your room. Write down your concerns and bring them into your meeting with the RA.
You’ve already tried talking to the jerk, so this is your next step you can’t avoid.</p>
<p>I just wonder if I’m doing anything wrong. Do you think I am nitpicking by telling him to bring a broom and sweep the floor if he wants to eat in there all the time? Am I nitpicking by asking him to deal with his smelly garbage? I don’t know. Another curious thing is when I sent him an email saying I cleaned out his garbage cans and told him to use bags and keep them clean, he told me not to interfere with his stuff. When I asked him to bring a rag from home so I could dust the room for us, he said he shouldn’t be doing all of this stuff for me (??) and got aggressive. How does that logic work?</p>
<p>I don’t think a clean and odor free room is much to ask for.</p>
<p>Definitely get the RA involved–he’s been trained to handle this type of thing. If you already asked nicely, there’s really nothing else you can do by yourself (nothing constructive anyway).</p>
<p>I never understand how roommates don’t get along. Like, just respect each others boundaries and if you don’t like each other, just stay on your side of the room and forget it.</p>
<p>^ Not all of us are/were fortunate enough to have a roommate that actually does/did respect boundaries…</p>
<p>To echo what others have said, if you’ve tried talking to him and he hasn’t done anything to compromise, go to the RA. Do it sooner rather than later to get this sorted out. Trust me, you don’t want to let this fester and get out of control.</p>
<p>@Ricky93 It’s not that easy to just ignore someone straight when you’re living with them. Trust me, I’ve tried.</p>
<p>YEAH RICKY, I’ll ignore the football game while I’m studying for my finals and keep on my side of the room!!! Thanks for the great advice, man!!!</p>
<p>In regards to always being in the room…he’s paying for it so he has every right to be there as you do.</p>
<p>As for everything else, I think the e-mail was a good strategy. It helps you articulate your concerns in a coherent way as opposed to possibly blubbering with a personal confrontation, and it also gives you record to take an RA if you find you have to escalate your efforts. I don’t think its unreasonable that you want him to be more active in helping out around the room. I do find it unreasonable that his mere presence bothers you. If you can’t stand his mere presence that much even when he’s not doing anything, you probably should have asked for a room all to yourself.</p>
<p>He sounds like a jerk, but sometimes people are jerks. I would try to spend the least amount of energy possible on this issue. If you involve the RA, focus on the noise and trash, and avoid the intangibles. Iin the meantime, look for a new roommate, ask for noise canceling headphones for Christmas, and buy a trash can with a lid to control the odor. Even if you get a cleaner and quieter roommate next semester, they will still be great to have. Honestly, if he’s uncooperative, I would empty the trash myself. it takes a millisecond, and will keep it from driving you loco.</p>