<p>Let it go and move on you won’t be getting an explanation of your roommate’s orientation so there is no use worrying about it since it’s done and over with.</p>
<p>By the way, this isn’t directly relevant to the topic, but I think insulting the OP’s English skills is sort of a low blow. I also can’t express myself as well in other languages as I can in my native one.</p>
<p>Plenty of gay people date members of the opposite sex before realizing their true sexuality. It’s been there all along yet he didn’t realize it. </p>
<p>"If he was born gay, he couldn’t manage to keep a 'fa</p>
<p>tl;dr </p>
<p>How in the world do you “become gay?” Is this some GUG thing or something?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>How in the world do you “change” your sexual orientation?</p>
<p>europegrad has also said:
“I has threatened with razing in my university (I live in Europe, not US)… They got what they deserved, barely graduated with horrendous GPA and 2 extra years, and I became valedictorian. I made plenty of friends and got respected…”</p>
<p>and</p>
<p>“In addition, I’d feel far more uncomfortable with a gay roommate. The merely idea that a man who is attracted to other man (regardless of whether he would be attracted to me specifically) is sharing a room in so close proximity is awkward. I would refuse the arrangement, claim that it would seriously affect my ability to have a decent dorm-quality of life, and would do everything reasonable to have my roommate changed.”</p>
<p>■■■■■ on</p>
<p>I read through the entire board and won’t even begin to point out everything I disagree with, however I would like to agree with all of the people saying its not a choice to become gay.</p>
<p>Gay people usually have a much harder time in society and have to deal with annoying put downs (such as “roommates who change their sexual orientation during college can ruin your life and cause you tons of problems - beware.”) Why would they CHOOSE a lifestyle in which they are constantly bashed and put down?</p>
<p>I have quite a few gay friends. Some of them thought they were straight, had straight relationships, had sex with the opposite sex, etc. They eventually came out, saying they never thought about their sexuality, they just dated the opposite sex but something sparked their curiosity and made them realize that were left unsatisfied because they were gay. </p>
<p>I don’t understand why its a hard concept to understand that someone may have been unsure of their sexuality for any reason but eventually discovered their true preference. Why would someone wake up one day and say “Hey! Today I’m going to be gay.” Especially someone like this who doesn’t seem comfortable with having others know. Why in the world would he “choose” to be gay just so he can hide it?</p>
<p>There are a lot of lifestyles that people adopt despite possible negative social perceptions. Look at teenagers (which was not he case of people involved in this situation), who suddenly choose to make a major change from hairstyle, music taste or group affiliation.</p>
<p>It’s like a high school rising junior girl who, over the summer, decides for a reason to change his hair, buys new trendy clothes, gets a belly-button and a tongue piercing and substitute Usher for Miley Cyrus. She just changed social group affiliation, and now she might have more difficulty to hang with her old friends and vice-versa. Maybe she is surrendering to peer pressure, maybe she doesn’t want to feel like “child” anymore, maybe she just want to receive attention, maybe she wants to screw someone who detracts her brand new style.</p>
<p>People don’t abstain from certain behaviors just because part of a large social groups or even majority of a country’s population don’t appreciate such behavior.</p>
<p>Science has already proved that some carachteristics such as height, skin, eye and hair colors, etc. are essentialy inherited, and an individual has therefor no such control over them. To the extent I’m familiarized with the subject, there’s a lot of scientific controversy about what determines sexual behavior in * homo sapiens *: why some individuals have reproductive diseases/infertility, what operates behind sexual arousal, why some people are more or less sex driven and why some individual feel attracted to same-sex individuals instead of being attracted to the opposite sex.</p>
<p>Even if science knowledge on the matter of what make people gay/lesbian was consensual and undisputed (e.g., a given gene on cromossome X define sexual atraction on a human being), which is not the case, one could still argue that, as with many other personality traits, normal people (meaning no severe mental disability) should be able to control themselves to a certain level. Almost everyone, regardless the sex of human being he/she feels attracted to, have or should have the ability to control own behavior in spite of social norms and rules by which we abide.</p>
<p>It ought to be very deterministic to take something extremely complex and subjective as affection, matching and sexual relationships to the level of, say, hair color and height, which are pratically defined and permanente upon adulthood.</p>
<p>What would you think about, let’s say, a woman who used to french-kiss, than later have sex, with other girls until junior year, then starts seeing guys, gets enganged and ends with lovely husband, lovely offspring, career etc. etc.?</p>
<p>lol “french kiss”</p>
<p>They’re LUGs or they’re…omg bisexual! Can you believe it, those people exist!</p>
<p>Deciding to get a boyfriend is just like making “a major change from hairstyle, music taste or group affiliation.” lol</p>
<p>LOL ■■■■■. Try to be attracted to men tomorrow. I dare you. Be gay for a day.</p>
<p>I hope the roommate ran away from the OP as fast as possible. The OP attacts drama, doesn’t take any responsibility.</p>
<p>Let me ask the OP, how did you decide you were straight? Are you attraced to women? When did you decide to do that. Nature is full of animals that are “gay”, seems humans are the only ones that are homophobic. </p>
<p>And there are many many people that are gay/lesbian who get married, in hopes they will be happy and “straight”. They fake their way through life trying to deny who they are. The OPs actions and beliefs and reactions are why people deny who they are.</p>
<p>Yes, some people experiement wtih the sexuality, but almost every gay person will say they knew when they were young they were gay, had feelings for those of the same sex, many ignored those feelings. But they were sill there.</p>
<p>OP, wow, jsut wow. I feel for the roommate and your college is one icky place. You had a stalker hacker who attacked you and your friends,and you blame your friends. Nice.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>By that definition, would we be “animals” if people weren’t homophobic?</p>
<p>Honestly, I think the OP has no reason to hate his gay roommate, atleast not for this. But what is with all of the anti-homophobic sentiments? Who cares if OP is homophobic? I don’t, atleast not to the point that I’d “contact a moderator to remove this thread” as someone said earlier. We all hold prejudices against others - whether you want to admit it or not - to some extent. 4 pages of “oh my god you hate gays” gets old. Now, start the bashing of me…</p>
<p>^ I’m not even joking, that post was # 1063018198 in CC history.</p>
<p>Edit: I just counted the digits; that can’t be right. Now I feel stupid :(</p>
<p>Everybody’s probably confused at this point anyway…</p>
<p>
The fact that many animals are homosexual doesn’t do much to show that homosexuality is moral, but it’s damn good evidence that it isn’t a choice.</p>
<p>I never had a moment of truth in which I thought “oh, now I decide and thereby swear to be straight for my life”. I think it is just natural: I grew up and just found that I have certain feelings and interests toward girls that I don’t toward boys, period. It goes beyond mere sexual attraction: I cannot conceive the idea of me sharing an emotional life and rising a family (in an yet unforseen future) with anyone but a woman who is reciprocally attracted to me. It’s plain simple, objective and natural. I have absolutely no intention of experimenting or whatsoever; I’m happy with my status. If I don’t have a doubt, there’s no need to decide anything: inertia will do.</p>
<p>Background info on my college: I majored in an applied sci. field in a rather conservative (socially and politically) faculty that is part of a large liberal and ‘progressive’ university. Competition among students (for internships, scholarships, research assistant positions) there can be cut-throat, and we have a noticeable rivalry with slacker and leftist departments in Humanities and Arts (at my Uni., I’m not generalizing the fields, please!). In our faculty there is no openly gay professor, but student council never knew of any discrimination complaint on basis of sexual preferences/option. University-wide diversity-related associations have low audience there, they are seen as a platform for people who feel entitled unfair benefits because they are different. We are a proud bastion of fighting against race preferences or afirmative action in admissions. Of ~130 undergraduates of my class majoring there, I recall exaclty 2 female open homossexuals, one of them was non-traditional (2nd degree), and the other was a complete outsider. Now I’m just starting Graduate School on the other side of the Atlantic, in The Netherlands, and still don’t know how things are going to be here.</p>
<p>If you guys complied all the stuff you typed on this thread you could make a book its so long. :D</p>
<p>
My eyebrows raised high on seeing the Netherlands…
It depends on the city. [Everyone's</a> Gay in Amsterdam](<a href=“Discover the remarkable side of the Netherlands: unique destinations and hidden gems | Holland.com - Holland.com”>Discover the remarkable side of the Netherlands: unique destinations and hidden gems | Holland.com - Holland.com)</p>
<p>I would argue with you further europegrad, but almost all of your posts scream “homophobe” to me, so I’ll save myself the energy because I’ve learned theres no point in arguing with someone who has some kind of prejudice so deeply rooted in them.</p>
<p>Hopefully your ex-friend stays far away from you. 
Even if he “chooses” to be straight again and is therefore an acceptable human being who won’t ruin the lives of others.</p>
<p>So, eurgrad, if you just know you are straight, than how do you know that homosexuals don’t just know they are gay, feel the same feelings and emotions you do, just for someone of the same sex. You can’t explain why you feel that way about girls. It just is. Well, beleive it or not, that is how gays and lesbians feel. It just is. </p>
<p>And if its not a choice,how can it be immoral? Please explain that. If a person is left handed, like I am, am I immoral. My husband was hit by nuns as a child because he is left handed, they thought it was evil or whatever to be left handed. Does that even make any sense. If being gay is not a choice how in the world can it be immoral. Its like saying being short is not moral, or being black, or having big feet. </p>
<p>And as for animals, let me be clearer- in the animal kingdom, there is male on male and female on female activities, sexual in nature, and animals don’t shun each other. It is what it is. </p>
<p>As for openly gay, what does that even mean? Do you know the romantic relationships of all your professors? What they all do in the private lives? Who they cuddle with? Just because someone doesn’t announce I AM GAY, doesn’t mean they are straight. Are your professors openly straight, sharing the details of their romances with you?</p>
<p>I thknk you might have just as tough of a time in grad school.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You’re naturally straight but your roommate chose to become gay?</p>
<p>[Full disclosure: I’m straight, not homophobic but strongly against the enfranchisement of “gays” (os lesbians, or whatever) as a category with particular rights deriving from one’s sexual prefferences, regardless of what they might be. I’m not an American citizen. I believe people should be free to have sex and establish civil parternships with whom they want, but marriage should be a strictly heterossexual mutual-exclusive arrangement no matter what ] </p>
<p>You’re right this is the least of your problems. I would define prejudice as believing a particular group should not receive equal rights. The “enfranchisement” you’re referring to is necessary for minorities who have been discriminated against specifically because everyone in society should be equally enfranchised. (once they break the law that’s a different matter). It’s disgusting to read this kind of doublespeak. It’s like saying I’m down with women, but it’s not like they should actually have equal rights or anything (which by the way is STILL a major problem in industrialized nations, let alone the developing world).</p>