<p>So I am having problems with my roommate. She isn't normally around because she has soccer and of course classes. I know she has to bond with her teammates but she normally is never in the room. She doesn't sleep there at night and is hardly around during the day. However when she is actually around, she is really nasty towards me and will hardly talk to me. I'm trying to be a good roommate and trying to get to know her better and be a friend to her, but she makes it difficult. It's hard to be able to live in a dorm when you are only comfortable when she isn't around. I don't know what to do. The only solution is to talk to her, then you go through the RA, and then you finally talk about a room change. It sounds silly but right now she is in the room so I am in one of the study rooms so I don't have to see her. If you could give me insight on any of this I would appreciate it. I hate confrontation, and I feel like if I tell her that she has been upsetting me it will get much worse.</p>
<p>My recommendation would be to just leave her alone. It doesn’t sound like you two would make good friends, for whatever reason, but there’s no reason that you two have to be friends. I barely talked to my roommate from freshman year. We were friendly enough and we would say hi when we saw each other, but other than that, we never really talked when we were in the room together. It wasn’t a very big deal.</p>
<p>As long as she isn’t doing anything that really bothers you (sleeps through her alarm, blasts her music, stays up all night with people in your room, etc), then I don’t really see what the problem is. If she doesn’t really want to chat with you, then that’s fine. Leave her alone, and move on with your life. If she’s hardly ever around, then it really shouldn’t be much of a problem.</p>
<p>+1 on what baktrax said.</p>
<p>If she’s actively being nasty to you, making mean comments when she walks in or something, then yeah, there’s a problem and you should try and do something. But if she’s just quiet, or would rather be doing her own thing, there’s nothing really wrong with that… so long as there aren’t real conflicts going on, there’s nothing that says roommates have to be best friends. So long as you two get along and share a space without driving each other insane, just try making friends outside of your own room (maybe try the room across the hall or next door, I’m sure they’re nice people).</p>
<p>I know a couple people my freshman year who disliked their roommate—either option is to live with it and ignore her or transfer rooms by going through the RA. You don’t need to be best friends with your roommate but if it’s really bothering you just switch with someone else.</p>
<p>You could just come out and say "You know, I get the feeling from you that I may have done something to offend you…did I? " and see how she responds. She might have personal problems, or not doing well with soccer and is afraid of losing a scholarship, or she may even be very homesick and considering leaving, so she doesn’t want to get close. If she acts surprised, or denies being unfriendly, then just say “Well, I’m glad to know I didn’t make you upset. Please let me know if I do so, because I’ve never roomed with anyone before…” and then let it go. The worst she can accuse you of is being considerate, and maybe it will make her think about the way she has been acting around you…Sometimes a gentle but direct approach is a lot less stressful. Just get it over with so you can focus on something else, and be comfortable. If you DID do something, say something, encroach somehow, you’ll be aware too…Good luck!</p>
<p>Uh hell no. I wouldn’t recommend living with THAT all year long.
I would:
1.) Figure out what exactly is her problem.
2.) Room Change</p>
<p>I don’t like ignorance. Two people in a room together should be able to communicate not block each other out until the very end of the year.</p>
<p>Stop exiling yourself from your own room. Stay in your room to study when you want to . Don’t project things on her that might not be true. Just ask what’s up.</p>