<p>I got this roommate and he's pretty chill with me but like when I try to talk to him there's like these awkward silences. I dont know what to talk about and Im not sure if he's really interested in computer games or stuff Im into. He's more like a hiking, (kinda athletic/popular?) marching band guy which I dont really have too much interest in or know too much about. He seems kinda cool with me but I just cant help that if I dont change soon he'll look down on me like just that 'weird asian nerd' and treat me badly. like one of his friends saw him once outside when we were walking and he basically got in between me and started talking to him and ignoring me then i tried to shake his hand and introduce himself but he just shook it and continued to ignore me. He had the vibe and feel of those popular good looking white guys who doesnt give a crap about unpopular people and just jumps at the chance to make fun of losers (I mean he had 2 girls and some guys following him in his group) I dunno it really made me angry even though it shouldn't have.
As of now, he's really nice to me and stuff, but I think it may just be because it's the first few days of college. Im scared he's gonna start getting mean later. Like he wanted to completely rearrage the room, which I was gonna be fine for but preferred not to. And he said we'll figure it out later.
And yesterday I tried to talk to him and knocked over my glass cup which Id had for over 10 years and broke it. And I just can't help thinking he's gonna go tell his friends how much of a awkward loser I am. Im just really looking to get along and feel comfortable with my roommate and have a decent self esteem</p>
<p>Don’t make a big thing about it; different strokes and all that.</p>
<p>If you act like you think he’s better than you, you’re going to get trampled. Just play it cool until there is actually a problem, and confront it when there is one. What you are afraid of happening may not ever happen, you are jumping the gun. He may not be all chummy because it sounds like you don’t have a ton in common. That’s okay. As long as you’re civil you’ll make good roommates.</p>
<p>Just because he’s you’re roommate doesn’t mean he has to be your friend. Would it be nice? Sure. Is it necessary? No.</p>
<p>You don’t have to be his best friend. You don’t have to TRY to be his best friend. There are so many other people on campus that can be your buddy.</p>
<p>Just be yourself.</p>
<p>It sorta sounds like you’re trying too hard. Just be yourself and relax because it’s your dorm. Your gonna be living there. No point in trying to please him. You don’t need to be his friend or worry about what he thinks of you.</p>
<p>Yeah don’t worry about him. If he thinks you’re a weird asian nerd that good for him, that’s his problem. You be yourself and you’ll get your group of friends. It’s kind of funny because I had a similar situation last year. I’m pretty sure my cool asian roommate thought I was some nerdy white dude and we never talked. He never talked with anybody in our suite, so it was definitely all on him because the rest of our suite got along great. You don’t always randomly get paired with the best people I’m afraid.</p>
<p>Your confidence is too low which is the source of your trouble Be a bigger man.</p>
<p>You really need more self-esteem. Try joining a gym.</p>
<p>Chill, and stop thinking about it so much.</p>
<p>I don’t think his issue is friendship, rather respect. Though for OP, please do differentiate between the two. qualities of friendship=/=qualities of respect. Just be respectful to him, do not speculate about preconceptions (“He had the vibe and feel…”). If it is factually going to happen in the future, then its going to happen, but until you realize whether that does or does not happen, do not hold attitudes that can only work towards making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.</p>
<p>I agree with others that you’re overanalyzing and “trying too hard.” </p>
<p>You have to stop looking at others as if they are better than you. You are your own person and you have your own strengths, etc. This guy may turn out to be a great friend. He may turn out not to be. He may be respectful. He may not be. They are all separate things and you can’t “force” one outcome over the other. </p>
<p>Go with the flow, be yourself, and if you start feeling trampled on, stand up for yourself. If he’s not interested in being your friend, don’t worry, there’s are other people on campus and in your dorm - but don’t jump to conclusions either.</p>
<p>Yeah, I don’t personally want my roommate to be my friend. He doesn’t do anything and doesn’t try to make other friends, so he’s always around. I feel bad, but I would rather not have him tag along with the friends I’ve made. My advice to you is to just let your roommate do his thing and think what he wants while you do your thing. Roommates don’t have to be friends or even like each other, as long as they respect each others’ space/rules. Also, your roommate’s opinion of you doesn’t determine your social value. Go out and attend club meetings/other events and make friends with similar interests to start you off.</p>
<p>Along the same lines as everyone’s advice about not trying too hard, I have to add that you shouldn’t feel obligated to make conversation all the time. In fact, these “awkward silences” you mention might be his way of letting you know that he prefers to be left alone. There’s no rule that says roommates must also be buddies and that there has to be socialization whenever you two are both present. My freshman year roommate and I weren’t especially close, and most of our conversations were of the superficial sort (with some occasional rants when one of us really needed to vent to someone else), which suited us just fine. If he’s not reciprocating, then don’t put him in an awkward situation.</p>
<p>You should, of course, be considerate of him but do not base your behavior and actions on what you think might be his perception of you. Furthermore, your fear of his judgment may also heighten your sensitivity in social situations like the one you described with his friend. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between being right and just reading too much into little things.</p>
<p>Lastly, unless you do something to really tick him off (and I highly doubt being a “nerdy Asian” is such a thing), you are probably not going to be a topic of interest in your roommate’s conversations with his friends.</p>
<p>You are spending to much time thinking about him instead of yourself. Go out and make your own friends by doing things that you want to do and are interesting to you…don’t worry about how your choices might be labelled by others because their opinions don’t matter. Your roomie is not overly interested in you or your life…which is fine…and you are spending to much time worrying about how he perceives you, etc. He’s not judging you, he’s just not interested, and that’s ok. And it’s ok for you to be reciprocal–polite, friendly, nonjudgmental, and not interested in him, his friends. or his choices.</p>
<h2>He’s more like a hiking, (kinda athletic/popular?) marching band guy ~ Orange peel</h2>
<p>Lol, since when are the marching band kids also the althletic popular, good looking dudes?</p>
<p>Either way, don’t feel the need to impress him. Be polite, be yourself, be a good roommate. It’s the first/second week of school, lots of time left for bonding.</p>
<p>Go hiking with him, you might like it more than you think</p>
<p>Have you ever been to a band practice? It’s pretty rigorous, especially at a collegiate level. Hiking is as well, although to a lesser extent.</p>