My Situation

Pre-College Issues Home Schooling and College
1

<p>Hello CC Community. First and foremost, thank you for reading this post as any replies will be helpful. I've been experiencing fairly severe anxiety about this and would really appreciate any help.</p>

<p>Here is my situation: two school years ago I started to attend a fairly presitigious, selective prep school. I was in a relatively ideal situtation for any aspiring college applicant: I made stellar grades, was elected to a student government position, played on a couple varsity sports teams (tennis and swimming), and I made incredible relationships with my teachers who all thought I was a fascinating and talented individual. </p>

<p>Then, in November of my Sophomore year that all changed. To put it in layman's terms, I became very depressed. I lost countless hours of sleep; I once went three days in a row without sleeping and ended up passing out in the hallway. I became emaciated. I literally dropped twenty-five pounds. My family said I looked like some sort of burn victim. You may ask, "Why?" It's ironic, actually: I felt like I wasn't liked, didn't have any friends, and didn't feel accomplished. When I started to see my peers get publsihed in Science magazine and win Gold medals in IMO I started to question what I had done with my life and why I wasn't one of those "special" people. As Jeremy Collier once said, "Envy, like a cold prison, benumbs and stupefies; and, conscious of its own impatience, folds its arms in despair."</p>

<p>The faculty at my school saw my severe depression and sat down and talked with me. They decided that I had enough "academic capital" to be allowed to take a medical leave of absence from the school. And that's what I did. I stayed home and studied, but I was still allowed to keep my grades and transcript for that one semester. I started to recover but not completely. This lasted until the end of December when the semester ended. They looked at me to come back, but I decided I wasn't well enough. And that's when a medical "leave of absence" turned into a medical "withdrawl": otherwise known as a "we're-kicking-you-out-because-you-can't-get-your-act-together."</p>

<p>So, I left. I was--and currently am--a homeschooler. I started to then study what I liked: computer science, physics, math, etc. When AP season came around I still couldn't get my act together to take the tests for the classes I had been enrolled in. So here I am: a homeschooler without any standardized testing. Aside from the PSAT (233, M 80, R 73, W 80) I really have nothing to go by. </p>

<p>I guess what I'm really trying to say is there are a lot of things I feel like I have completely failed at. Yet, at the same time I feel like I want to do really amazing things--possibly attend RSI, a presitigious college, and more--but I worry that I may have lost everything. I don't have any teachers anymore, any grades, any anything. Those I have heard about attending a prestigious college from a homeschool background have chosen homeschooling. They have a history of homeschooling and have done extraordinary often out-of-the-box things by being homeschooled. I haven't. In fact, I haven't done anything of consequence in the time I've been homeschooled. </p>

<p>What I'm trying to ask is: has what I've done going to be viewed very negatively by institutions? I don't want to turn this into a "chance me" thread because I don't believe it is. But, have I "failed?" </p>

<p>Too long; didn't read: I attended a school, became depressed, withdrew, and am now homeschooled. Very bad or okay?</p>

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<p>I think you can still have a great college career, but you might need to let go of the idea that you are destined for a stellar college experience. I do not think you will be looked down upon when you apply to college - they will see you as someone who had a bad bout of depression and came out of it ok. </p>

<p>I assume you are heading into your junior year? This is the year that is a way to show the schools and yourself that you can handle a strong academic load, so think carefully how you want to proceed. Plan to get some AP scores. Take the SAT and at least two SATIIs. </p>

<p>Or consider holding yourself back. You had an only half successful sophomore year. Start again. This will be ok in the eyes of the colleges.</p>

<p>But, learn to be realistic. You got depressed because you were not getting to the IMO, or published in Science - well colleges are mostly filled with students that are in that same boat. </p>

<p>RSI? that is filled with kids who can get into the IMO (or at least do well in the USAMO) or have the potential to be published in journals. And, yes, they have accepted HSers - my son was accepted but chose to go to MOP instead. I know of at least one other HSer who has gone. But, ask yourself if it is a realistic goal, or will just add to your stress level? </p>

<p>You seem like a smart kid, but be sensible, figure out what you can realistically do, and then do it. Good luck.</p>

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<p>We “chose” homeschooling only because school wasn’t working out. 1) You aren’t a failure - you’ve had problems, as most people have. 2) Just because nobody has heard of a school doesn’t mean the school isn’t worth going to. 3) It is NOT too late for you to get your act together. 4) If you can do that well on the PSAT, you can do well on SAT 2 Subject tests, and those will show that you’ve done stuff.</p>

<p>Are you a rising junior?</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>I think the bigger concern is your health. Are you being treated for depression? You need to take care of your health before you can move forward with your educational plans. If you haven’t been able to complete basics such as taking the AP and SAT/ACT tests which you studied for, then perhaps you aren’t really ready to move forward just yet. That doesn’t make you a failure; it just means you need more help in dealing with your illness. </p>

<p>When did you get this PSAT score? If it was this past October and you are finishing your Junior year, then you can still move forward in the National Merit competition. By taking the SAT and scoring well, you would have many scholarship opportunities open to you. </p>

<p>In any case, you don’t have to do extraordinary things as a homeschooler to be accepted at colleges. You might have to look beyond your initial ‘dream school’, but there is a place for you. Dealing with depression is a major struggle. Make sure you get the help you need first so that you have what you need to thrive in college and life.</p>

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<p>Thank you all for your replies.</p>

<p>I suppose I wasn’t clear about my age. I am a rising Junior finishing out my Sophomore year. Unfortunately that PSAT score won’t count for national merit. </p>

<p>NeedAVacation: Yes, I am currently being treated for depression. I suppose the difficulty is that I really do want to move forward with my education, but still have difficulty dealing with a lot of things. For example, I have a processing disorder which keeps me from reading quickly and doing things most of my high-achieving peers can do. That led to me take double or triple the time most kids take for an assignment which kept me from sleeping and may have inevitably led to my depression. I suppose I might need a little more time to recover.</p>

<p>GeekMom63: Nice to hear someone else has been homeschooled simply because school wasn’t working out. That makes me feel better. I have actually taken some SAT IIs and done well on them, (high 700s with one 800) but unfortunately the ones I was planning to take Sophomore year I didn’t feel well enough to take. Do you think it would be a good idea for homeschoolers to have more SAT IIs than a typical student because they aren’t graded in a traditional way?</p>

<p>anotherparent: If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you some more specific questions. For example, how does one register for the AMC 12 as a homeschooler? I would have done so this past year but I had no idea how. (On a similar note, do you know how to register for other competitions as a homeschooler such as USABO, etc.?) I guess I’ve had my problems with being realistic in the past. I would consider myself a bright student, but by no means am I a sensational academic. May I ask you some more questions in a PM? I don’t want to bother you too much, but as a homeschooler who is essentially teaching himself and putting together everything himself, I am very lost and would appreciate help.</p>

<p>Again, thank you all very much for your replies.</p>

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<p>You’re only a sophomore. You can finish all your standarized testing in junior and you’ll be bound to get into great schools with a predicted 2330 SAT.And yes, homeschoolers should generally take more standarized test. But why can’t you go back to school (the same one or a different one) starting junior year?</p>

<p>Remember, success comes and goes at different times for everyone. </p>

<p>Many kids only truly begin to thrive at university - whether is be a top ranked or lower ranked school.</p>

<p>Don’t live in the shadow of others.</p>

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<p>My kids first started taking the USAMO as a guest at local private schools. It was a bit of a challenge, because, for my son, I was trying to find a school that would probably have a USAMO qualifier so he could do that at their school, too. Then they started offering the tests at local colleges and that made it much easier for us: [Additional</a> Locations for the AMC 10B/12B at Higher Education Sites](<a href=“American Mathematics Competitions | Mathematical Association of America”>American Mathematics Competitions | Mathematical Association of America)</p>

<p>Feel free to PM me. I am not here every day, but pretty often. Both my kids are in college, I am not sure why I still come here at all :-)</p>

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<p>Oh, and the other olympiads - we only did math, but presumably, the same way - find a private school that will host you (or a public, if they offer it and are friendly) Or, call the people who administer the test and ask them what they suggest.</p>

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<p>Regarding the AMC’s: If there is not a college in your area offering the exam, you can have it proctored at your local library. I registered our homeschool with the AMC folks and they sent all of the testing materials directly to our local library. </p>

<p>Regarding the science Olympiads: I am only familiar with the Chemistry Olympiad. Unlike the AMCs, you can’t register directly as a homeschooler. I needed to find a school in our area that would register my son under its school name. Each school is permitted to send a certain number of participants to the local level; my son was not included in the school’s allotted participants, so it was not difficult for me to find a school to sign him up.</p>

<p>Good luck with your last two years of high school.</p>

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<p>HallMLuke, I’m glad to hear you are getting help and making progress. Keep at it and don’t expect perfection of yourself! </p>

<p>You can take the PSAT as a homeschooler. You need to call your local high schools and ask to speak with someone in the Guidance Office. Explain to them that you are homeschooled and are looking for a school that will allow you to test with their students in October. Keep calling until you find one that says yes. Then check in with them occasionally to be sure you are still on their list (maybe at the end of summer and again in early October.) You will probably have to pay between $13 - $20 but they should also get an official practice test booklet for you. With your score last year I would think you have a great shot at qualifying for National Merit. You (or one of your parents) need to make the calls asap though because schools make these plans early. (Though some will take students if they have room at the last minute.) If you can, try to work through some practice tests (SAT & PSAT) at home over the summer to prepare. You should also register to take the SAT in October. That way you can study for both tests at the same time. It’s not too late and that’s a good goal to work toward! As for the Subject Tests, two is usually the max a school requires (ie. one Math and one from another subject), so if you scored well on two already, you should be fine. Some schools don’t require any, though I do belive it is recommended for homeschoolers as additional outside verification.</p>

<p>Have you found any local homeschooling groups? In our area we have a homeschooled Science Olympiad team. There are also other academic competition teams which do quite well. It’s a way to develop ECs that interest you and also to get some socialziation with others teens. Or you might find something else you are interested in.</p>

<p>Try not to compare yourself with or compete with the “sensational academics”. You are who you are and you have talents and struggles of your own. Focus on improving your health, developing your own talents and interests, and take it one day at a time!</p>

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<p>HallMLuke,</p>

<p>Keep asking questions. You can do this! I admire you.</p>

<p>Are you near local high schools? Are you in a decent sized city? How much are your parents willing to help you find the resources you want? How involved will they be in your homeschooling and how much are they willing to help?</p>

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<p>Again, thank you all for your replies. Your support is greatly appreciated.</p>

<p>arghwhy: I certainly do hope that I thrive at whatever university I end up attending. That’s a good reminder. As for why I can’t go back to school, the private school I did attended wouldn’t accept me back, nor would my parents be willing to pay tuition after I ended up dropping out. As for the local public school, the situation is fairly complicated, but really they’d want to hold me back a year due to my medical leave which is something my family nor I do not want to happen, especially since I’ve spent so much time working toward finishing out my sophomore classes.</p>

<p>anotherparent: Thank you for the information. I’m going to send you a PM with a list full of questions if you don’t mind. Watch out for that.</p>

<p>snowbeltmom: Again, thanks for the information. For the AMC, would they send an “official” proctor if I did it at a library or would anybody unaffiliated with me be able to proctor it? I’ll try to call a lot of schools early to see what exams they offer.</p>

<p>NeedAVacation: That’s good information to know about the PSAT. I’ll keep at practicing for all the SATs necessary. I’d definitely like to find a homeschooling group or team that is fairly competitive. Do you know how I might find one in my area? </p>

<p>sbjdorlo: Yes, I am near local high schools and in a decent sized city. I’m in a rough situation with my parents. They really don’t find homeschooling to be an option, yet at the same time we have no other options. So, they’re kind of letting me create my own curriculum and leaving me to myself. They seem willing to pay for textbooks, but not much more. I’m making all the calls–literally, all of this calling to schools to see if schools offer exams I would have to be the one to do which is unfortunate given my severe social anxiety. So, in short, they are not very willing to help except for things I absolutely couldn’t do myself and absolutely require. So, I will be the one making the transcripts, buying textbooks and application fees with my near-minimum-wage job, etc. which makes me kind of scared. At the same time, I see it as an opportunity to be very independent as well as responsible for my own education. A part of me wishes they would be more involved but another part doesn’t.</p>

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<p>I’d definitely like to find a homeschooling group or team that is fairly competitive. Do you know how I might find one in my area? </p>

<p>A good place to start a search for local homeschooling groups is the HSLDA website: [HSLDA</a> | Home School Organizations](<a href=“http://www.hslda.org/orgs/Default.aspx]HSLDA”>Group Search) You could also just google your city or county + homeschool and see what turns up.</p>

<p>As for organizations like Science Olympiad, you could also start at the state level. Contact the state organization (start here: [State</a> Websites | Science Olympiad](<a href=“http://soinc.org/state_websites]State”>State Websites | Science Olympiad)). Tell them your county of residence and ask if they know of any homeschooled teams. Maybe they can point you to an existing team. </p>

<p>If no homeschooled team exists for a competition in which you are interested, you can always start your own! </p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Thanks for the information NeedAVacation. I’ll definitely look into it.</p>