<p>If you’re going to send your son to visit Kenyon, you should also insist on a second look for Oberlin or other schools with similarly high merit offers. </p>
<p>As a 17 year old HS senior, I was faced with a similar choice…NYU or Oberlin. </p>
<p>I opted for Oberlin not only for the near-full ride scholly they provided, but also because of superior academic reputation…especially in my field. Despite the fact I wouldn’t have “fit” in with Oberlin’s campus culture, I looked upon it as an educational/intellectual adventure to look forward to rather than something to be avoided…and Oberlin’s progressive vibe was more pronounced when I attended in the mid-late '90s. </p>
<p>Knew several others after college who made the opposite choice who are still paying back their undergrad debt…even after 10+ years out from undergrad. Me…got a great education, wonderful experience, degree/alum network from a respectable school, and took out a small three-figured loan which was all paid off within six months of graduation.</p>
<p>I think when we visit colleges with kids there are so many little things that can turn them off to going there, whether it is the tour guide or the vibe of the admissions person, or whether it is raining. As the consenting and paying adult (with some experience and wisdom too), you are looking for the best value for the product you are buying - which should be foremost, an education. Definately take a second look and meet with the department(s) if you can. I went to Oberlin, I vote republican and I live in the suburbs with kids and dogs. We aren’t all hippies!</p>
<p>I think Oberlin would be my choice, but I’m not the OP’s son. Fwiw the kid I know at Jenyon is alternative and an English major writing a sci-fi novel. He adores Kenyon.</p>
<p>Since the OP did not expect the money, I can under stance the reluctance rigor e the outcome. Another look is surely warranted. </p>
<p>I couldn’t get my kid west of the Hudson to apply (except for UChi) so I can say I might have list merit money he might have made had he applied. Not an unreasonable assumption given his acceptances. It’s a tough place for the OP yes, but in that situation I might also sigh a big sigh and let the kid choose if I could afford it. They’re both great schools and campus culture can influence success, even if some people consider this coddling. I speak as a college teacher.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone for your feedback. The fact is, we could afford to send him to Kenyon full fare. But the merit awards would really come in handy if he ever wanted to go to grad school. After paying for college for 2 kids, we’ll be out of money.</p>
<p>Has the OP clarified whether she mean that they will be out of money…or just the college funds? It sounds like “they” will be out of money. </p>
<p>However, if “they” have $500k stashed for 2 kids’s college costs, and they will still have healthy savings for their own needs, emergencies, and retirement, then they won’t be “out of money”…just out of college money. That’s fine if the kids are majoring in areas that have fully funded grad programs (not all are) or won’t be going to grad school or the parents are fine with debt for grad school… </p>
<p>I agree with Redpoint. There is this pressure out there that kids must find a certain fit (and know for sure that the school is a fit) otherwise their college years will be dreadful. There are a gazillion kids who end up at 2nd, 3rd, and even last choice schools that end up being delighted.</p>
<p>“There are a gazillion kids who end up at 2nd, 3rd, and even last choice schools that end up being delighted.”</p>
<p>I have yet to meet them. I have seen who made do at their last choice school, but none who were “delighted.” </p>
<p>I am tired of the repetitive, “Go where the money is.” I doubt a family who qualifies for no financial aid, can pay in cash for 2 children’s 4-year private degrees and is concerned about grad school doesn’t have $ stashed away for retirement. It sounds to me like the college funds would be depleted. </p>
<p>We have a dear friend who turned down ivy to go to Oberlin and h.a.t.e.d. it there. By the way, she was rather alternative. I’ve know other kids who have hated their lacs which had much preppier vibes. It’s not about Oberlin or Kenyon. A lot of the top lacs have a personality and it can be rather miserable not fitting into that personality. I wouldn’t require my kid to go to a school he didn’t like but I would say exactly what I could offer as far as $ (if that’s to cover undergrad or both undergrad and grad) and allow them to choose within those parameters. </p>
<p>It also sounds to me like there are other schools in the mix.</p>
<p>Here is OP. I’ve never actually used this forum before. It’s great! To: YouDontSay: yes, I would not be flat broke, just out of the college fund moneys that we have saved. </p>
<p>He is a writer and will probably end up being an English/Writing major. Other options are: Grinnell, Macalester, Brandeis, Occidental (Brandeis and Oxy gave him a little bit of money, too. Kenyon, Grinnell and Macalester did not).</p>
<p>Thank you so much, everyone. You are giving me so many things to think about and approaches to take. This is so helpful.</p>
<p>Excellent, OP! Because if it was ALL your money, I’m quite sure we’d be unanimous about what to do. Thanks for checking back. Let us know what he/y’all decide. :)</p>
<p>Academic grad schools are covered - but things like architecture, law school, med school and business school aren’t. I think it’s reasonable to at least factor that thought into the equation. Obviously for many it will be irrelevant (like most scientists).</p>
<p>Kenyon and Oberlin both have highly regarded English Lit/Writing programs. However, I’m not sure Kenyon’s program is necessarily worth the difference in the loss of merit money or not. </p>
<p>Heard good things about Brandeis’ English lit program…but not sure about the writing part. Know nothing about Oxy. </p>
<p>Standings difference may be small enough to attempt to negotiate with Kenyon for more money…especially considering Oberlin is ranked higher. You may be able to kill two birds with one stone here. Also, check the fine print of all merit scholarships to ensure their academic standing requirements are reasonable instead of excessive(i.e. Must maintain minimum of 3.5 cumulative GPA).</p>
<p>His interest in writing/English changes the story for me, because Kenyon is well known for these programs. My kids also considered and visited most of these schools, and I agree with others that Oberlin and Kenyon are different schools. Your S would probably find his place at Oberlin, but it might take awhile. I also agree that you should contact Kenyon about money. We were in a similar situation, and Kenyon sweetened their offer for us (but neither kid ended up there).</p>
<p>Clarifying for NJSue, who said: “Why are you nauseated and troubled by the possibility that the OP might not make her kid take a merit scholarship at a school that’s not a favorite, even though they could pay for the favorite? You might think it’s foolish, certainly, but nauseating?”
That’s not what I said. I dont like to be misunderstood. Im not nauseated by anything the OP might want to do with her own money and her own kid, and I didn’t say I was. I was talking about the general concept that is being overly hyped and marketed (not on this thread per se, but oft discussed) that it is so important to find the one perfect fit, that one loses sight of cost and porportion. This is causing the education bubble. It also might be, possibly, creating a group of entitled, Veruca Salt like children. Again, I am not referring to the OPs kid, I am talking in generalities.</p>
<p>The other thing: the child applied to Oberlin, so I was assuming he was already predisposed to liking it. Maybe he wasn’t, maybe he was told to apply, but common sense says if he applied he might be happy to attend. That’s why it doesnt sound like such a stretch to say, yes to Oberlin if they are giving him money. I guess the due diligence wasn’t done. Therefore, the dilemma.</p>
<p>I’m with you…if finances are not an issue, then why would this be “necessary”. I can see why it would be financially easier…but not necessary. FWIW…we were in the same boat…and our kid did not follow the money. We had the MONEY discussion before the applications were sent and her merit award was a complete, total surprised to everyone. Since it wasn’t expected at the beginning…and we agreed to let her apply to all of the schools on her lists fully KNOWING what our costs would be…we let HER chose in the end.</p>
<p>I will say …there were many times in the four years that we knew she had made the right choice!!</p>
<p>FWIW, redpoint, the OP’s son applied before visiting. After visiting, he declared it not “mainstream” enough for him. </p>
<p>That said, the OP hasn’t indicated how strongly the young man objects to Oberlin or how much he really loves Kenyon. That information, to my way of thinking, is relevant. Who really thinks “perfect fit” is achievable? But picking a school where you could see yourself being happy and fulfilled, academically and socially? Seems a reasonable goal. Can people always determine in advance? Of course not. But there are ways to get a “feel” for a place and, depending on how strong your negative or positive reaction is, you may be more or less comfortable taking the leap. </p>
<p>I’d not spend any amount of money on a school my kid didn’t love. That’s not to say she made the only choice she could have made, and I happen to think there are a lot of exciting school choices at all levels of cost and selectivity. But if my D’s chosen college didn’t make her smile and excite her, what would be the point of paying any amount of money for her to attend? Whatever the cost per year, it’s a big investment. ($5K? $25K $60K? All of these amounts seem significant to me!)</p>
<p>Maybe because it’s the parents’ money and they feel the important differences between two given schools are so miniscule/non-existent that abandoning the school with merit money/better FA would be an absurd waste. </p>
<p>However, if the OP’s child…or any other college-bound student can effectively address these concerns while effectively articulating their case for choosing the more expensive school with their parents, then the parents should give their kid some serious consideration.</p>
<p>They also have the option of finding ways of funding their college choice without their parents’ funding like I and others have done…though it isn’t an easy option…especially nowadays.</p>
<p>My H is an Oberlin grad. Loved it, but it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea. My niece is at Kenyon and loves it. When I told her that my DS, her cousin, looked for colleges with unconventional thinkers (he ultimately chose Grinnell, but also considered Oberlin) she said, “That’s interesting. I guess I’m a more conventional thinker.” The one thing she doesn’t love about Kenyon is that there is no real town attached to it. This might or might not matter to your son, OP.</p>
<p>Can someone answer my question? What’s so “alternative” about Oberlin? This is a sincere question. Does it mean GLBT? Are you talking about kind of crunchy-granola-y? Ear gauges and tats? Ds’s GC suggested the school to him, and now I’m really curious!</p>
<p>Here are a few things that make Oberlin unique:</p>
<p>(1) optional commune living where kids grow and make food for each other;
(2) liberal pass/fail, drop, and incomplete options re grading;
(3) tolerance towards most drugs like Reed;
(4) large music school and so there are lots of artistic people there;
(5) winter term with alternative classes like arts/crafts;
(6) also an experimental college where students with unique skills teach other students (a couple of these courses may count toward graduation);
(7) few requirements (just writing and quantitative, which are fairly easy to get out of via SAT II/AP/IB);
(8) very tolerant student body of alternative lifestyles and thinking; and last but certainly not least,
(9) cranks out a huge number students who go on to earn PhDs and pursue careers in academia/research.</p>