OP, I understand that this is frustrating for you but this is the way it is. With your son’s SAT scores and GPA, it is likely that he will not get into MIT or Cornell or the other schools he is “excited about.”
At this point, it is your job to make sure your son has realistic expectations, and a realistic list. Both you and his GC need to make sure he understands that these schools are LONG shots, and you need to have him look at schools where he has a good chance of getting in and that are also a good fit. (I also think another look at CWRU would be a great idea.) He sounds like a smart kid who will flourish in the right environment. He just needs some guidance getting there.
As everyone mentioned about, he is really outside of legitimate consideration for all the tippy top schools you have mentioned on your list. Double that as it applies to transfer to said schools, the acceptance rates almost dwindle to half of what freshmen admission rates are—so, that is not the most plausible alternative. I would sit down with him, and have a serious discussion on his numbers and his relative opportunity for admission. With his scores, he would be in the bottom 20 percentile of admitted students, and many of those students, are athletes and folks with legitimate hooks.
OP, you say your son attends a “prestigious NE prep school.” If so, then your son’s GC is more than competent, knows your son as a student intimately, and has a personal relationship with every college on your son’s list and many, many more. You also have access to Naviance with very detailed information about how your son compares to his peers. It is his standing among his peers at his prep school that will determine which colleges are reaches, matches, and safeties for him. I can’t believe that his GC hasn’t been very direct with both him and you regarding an appropriate college list. At my son’s prestigious NE prep school, your son’s GPA and test scores would put him in the bottom half of his graduating class. As others have said, most of the colleges on his list are not going to happen, and his GC should have been blunt about that. The GC should also have proposed a more targeted list that will help him achieve his best result. What has the GC told him/you? Is your son working with his GC or just going his own way? If the latter, then he is not taking advantage of one of the best services his school offers.
What you paid for at his elite high school was a phenomenal high school education, not a college result. I’m sure his school has prepared him well to hit the ground running at whatever college he eventually attends and that is what “prep” school is all about.
I would suggest adding Georgia Tech to his list: uber “techy” and among the top ten (top five in many categories) engineering programs in the U.S. GT should satisfy both his requirement for an intense engineering experience and your need for prestige at a reasonable (compared to others on his list) cost. And he has a reasonable chance at acceptance there. GT will provide him with a famous name that opens doors–wide. Our son’s GC said that anyone looking for a top engineering program who doesn’t include GT among the usual suspects on your son’s list is not well-informed.
You and your son (and, I am guessing, his ‘elite’ secondary school) are defining ‘top schools’ extremely narrowly: Ivys. MIT. CalTech. You aren’t working with a list of top schools, you are working with a list of famous top schools. Your son has further narrowed the pool by saying only super-techy schools will do. So you have made a box, and he has made a smaller box inside it, and when you hold up his test scores and grades to the cold hard light of day, they don’t fit. There aren’t enough places for all of the kids who are qualified and can do the work, so the top schools get to pick the ones that are the most qualified. (btw, your anecdote of the ‘picking the country’ shows just how tough it is for internationals, not how easy: the admissions person had one international slot left and got to pick from top students from the whole world for that one spot).
Only the best hopes is indeed what we all have, but the key is to recognize that we don’t always know what the best is for our kids. Go back to baseline principles: you want him to go to a college or university in which he will thrive and graduate prepared to take on adult life. Does a famous name help? of course. Is not having a famous name a serious liability? of course not. WPI doesn’t look as good on your back windshield as MIT, but that doesn’t mean that it might not be the right place for your son. And the fact that he loves MIT (who doesn’t, really?!) does not mean that it is the right place for him.
Let go of your focus on famous top names and there is no reason to be sad, and you will be able to help your son manage his expectations so that he can be excited in the spring, not sad.
As everybody else is saying, start by revisiting his list. Seriously, no list that has both Brown and Bucknell on it is well curated. Limit him to (say) 3 serious reaches, 6 matches and 3 safeties.
The money you spent on private school is on you Mom and Dad. I would be careful that you don’t inadvertently convey these thoughts to your son. It makes it sound like you expected an ROI (return on investment) on private school tuition. The ROI is the excellent education he received, not the college he might get into (though that is always nice). He may not want to let you down, and that could be adding to his own sense of pressure, especially with Dad having gone to MIT.
I would still apply to WPI, and some reaches, and some safeties. It’s good to have options and to see what type of merit $$ comes in.
Thank you for your replies -
As I have mentioned in past posts, 1) my sons GC has recommended other schools which my son isn’t interested in 2) he wants to stay in NE/NY/PA area - no further
My techy, STEM son’s best friend is applying to WPI from Florida . . . his dad also went to a top US school (won’t say which one but everyone knows it) and my son’s friend has to be one of the smartest kids I have ever met when it comes to math and science. He also attends an exclusive private prep school.
No shame in WPI . . . it’s more the $$$$. Hopefully merit would come in.
Haven’t looked at it - too overwhelmed with what we currently have. Like I said, Ive pretty much given up and seeing him at UMASS as a failsafe. Just a shame thats all.
Did you visit Syracuse? RIT? How about Northeastern? BU? You need to give your son a reality check on the Ivy League (and yourself). He should only apply to 1 or 2 of them. And there is a 99% chance he will get rejected.
I’m trying to be nice and ignore your entitlement comment about working so hard and deserving Ivy League… maybe if your son’s GPA was 4.0 and his test scores were lower, that may have been slightly valid (say your son was a bad standardized test taker) but the scores match the GPA… Sorry- low (for Ivy) GPAs are strictly reserved for the Legacy, kids of Famous people (there are tons of those- Brian Williams daughter, for example, many others) and Athletes. The leaves a handful (literally) of spots for the ‘cure cancer’ crowd that may have a low GPA/test scores. Your son is none of these… too bad MIT doesn’t consider legacy.
Go to Naviance and show your son the scatergram with his scores and others who where accepted to Ivys. That should do the trick. Also, go see some more schools and expand your match list. UMASS for CS may end up being a great choice (great program) but let it be a choice, not a default.
I think the suggestions to consider 3-2 programs such as the one with Columbia’s engineering school is a good one. Also, your son could go to a top school for graduate school if that is his overriding ambition.
I agree with the sentiment that you may be inadvertently tying your and your husband’s expectations into your son’s feelings of self-worth. Right now, his test scores (particularly math) suggest that he would have a really difficult time at a place like MIT. Since he attended a top private school, it cannot be for lack of preparation that he is not a top scorer. He needs to be at a place that he is currently suited for and can be happy and thrive rather than be miserable and barely survive. I know you want him to be happy first and foremost. As he matures and develops good study habits, perhaps MIT will be in the cards for a Masters or PhD degree.
The competition for internationals is brutal! Only a few spots at top schools go to students with mega-populations like China and and India (3 -4 each year make it into Harvard). Would your son be be one of the top 4 kids in India?
Yes SouthFlorida - U Maryland is too South for him. I realize his desires leave a very small box of what his options are and we are very aware that his chance of getting into his schools of choice are very very (should I add another?) low. - and no SuzyQ I don’t think that my Ivy league comment was anymore entitled than yours was callous -
I’ve heard the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign mentioned as a very good school for CS, and the University of Washington as well. I can’t say I’m overly familiar with their admission profiles, but these might be more realistic low reaches for your son. (I’m probably wrong, but I’m sure someone here will point that out). Obviously these would be outside the Northeast, but I think your son needs to consider broadening his horizons a bit - a chance to spend 4 years living in a different setting from what he’s experienced before is anything but a tragedy.
The Ivy League, with one or two exceptions, is not that great for CS or engineering. No sense in chasing big names, especially given their admission rates and your son’s stats. He can apply to MIT as an über-reach, but prestige isn’t everything.
Has your son given any particular reason he’s looking to stay in the Northeast, and preferably NE? Out of the hundreds of universities in the country (several dozen of which are very good CS/engineering schools), there must be a few outside NE that offer the experience he’s hoping to find closer to home, so if you know his specific reasons that might allow people here to name a few colleges further afield where he would really enjoy studying/