My special place...

Applying to College
1

hey I am a new member here; male 17, wanting u to edit my essay!! as if this is smth new!!:smiley:

Every person has his own special place, that can be described as home. for me that place is my room. On each and every wall my memories are written there to keep me warm.

Living there my whole life wasn’t an impossible thing. During the last ten years I had filled it with everything I love: my Organ, my computer, my childish toys, my dreams, my hopes and the great big bed that gives the room a magical touch of warmth. you can rarely find my room tidy, as a matter of fact, I hate it when it is. My pajamas on the bed, papers covering the desk, and the chair centered. that’s my heaven on earth.

My room might not be that luxurious, but for me it’s a piece of paradise. And after all it is not about how fancy the place is, it’s how relaxing and comfortable it makes you feel.

2

<p>I like it... esp because it is so easy to read and it doesnt have those complicated words.</p>

3

<p>a bit unoriginal if you ask me, but i like the simplicity. it's not trying to impress or be show-offish</p>

4

<p>You gotta BUMP it up :D</p>

5

<p>People Please!</p>

6

<p>what is this essay for ?</p>

7

<p>College essay</p>

8

<p>aren't college essays suppose to be 1- 2 pages? I know it doesn't have to be, but I expected just a tad bit longer. I know it's about quality and not quantity, but colleges want to see an apt description of something that matters so much to you that you can go on days and days talking about it. Then they want those "days and days" to be shortened to a descriptive few paragraphs. However, yours looks a teeny bit too short.</p>

9

<p>Its one of the "2 paragraphs" essay!!!</p>

10

<p>is this common app or like answering a given prompt??</p>

11

<p>ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, should've said that... crap... don't even know about 2 paragraph essays. 'Scuse my ignorance =P, hold'on where do you find the 2 paragraph essays?</p>

12

<p>UChicago(although its not from here), Northwestern(from there), Brown...etc</p>

13

<p>Hey, it's beautifully written, but if you want criticisms, I can give you some.</p>

14

<p>go on.......</p>

15

<p>well i don't know if its original enough for u of Chicago they really like stuff to be quirky and weird</p>

16

<p>It is not for UChicago</p>

17

<p>Be Brutal Ppl</p>

18

<p>waiting............</p>

19

<p>One thing that's really lacking in your essay is orignality.
Its triteness really ruins the overall mood and thus, the impression it gives to the readers..
Colleges don't want tried and true themes. Well, I know, that's what I wouldn't want to read. It completely alters a piece of writing.
"Every person has his own special place, that can be described as home. "
"My room might not be that luxurious, but for me it's a piece of paradise.
"it is not about how fancy the place is, it's how relaxing and comfortable it makes you feel."
"Heaven on earth"
...etc.
Look, I do that all the time, and it really does not help me advance my theme. I've been told over and over again to stay away from boring bromides and hackneyed movie quotes, but I never do.
I'm not trashing the way you write. In fact, you write a lot like I do. That's more the reason I might need criticisms later on my own essays.</p>

20

<p>for Godot..:D</p>