<p>Thnx wanderer...u killed me but I know its for my benefit
What exactly is trite the essay or the quotations?</p>
<p>lol, not sayin start over, just revise those sentences, do a lil creative writing. Elaborate on those "memories"...etc</p>
<p>Creative Writing Is My Enemy I Stayed Days And Days....</p>
<p>btw, no, the essay is not trite, I mean... once you think about it... all colleges can bunch topics together into neat little categories. What's personal to you is never trite, college application or no college application, it's how you write that deems it worthy.</p>
<p>that essay is 153 words...most of those "2 paragraph essays" are supposed to be like 200-250 words. So why don't you add some more descriptions and detail...you can hardly call that an essay and you just said it was for Chicago...also i agree with the wanderer when he says its a bit trite. Try to take out some of the tired sayings and replace them with some new original ones</p>
<p>Elodie its NOT for Chicago its for Northwestern...btw wanderer can u help me edit? or any1 else? and its 150-200 words</p>
<p>Use colour, add colour to your writing.
A memory? What colour do you associate it with? Is it... "soft buttercream"? Is it "steel blue"? Lol, I'm not just saying throw in random colours in there, but oftentimes, if you associate a memory or an event with a colour. Creativity just flows.</p>
<p>There's many ways to rid a writing of its same-old-same-old. Using colours is just one way.</p>
<p>"Creating Just flows" yeah right! But I still cant get the color thing..examples?!</p>
<p>euh...
lol, it's hard to think, hold on</p>
<p>after all, this is your experiences, and I know nothing about your room. For all I know it oculd be a deathtrap full of socks and crap,
but for example, if I was talking about your organ:</p>
<p>An ancient organ, smelling of pine and polish, sits enthroned in my little room. A thin film of dust now covers its ivory keys. Yet, many a lazy summers I sat under the soft canary sun, and played... crap, </p>
<p>I don't know what people play on an organ, lol
well you get the point. See, the event isn't personal to me, and if I were to criticize my own piece up above. I would say it's too pretentious, but you, the memory matters to you. So say it like you mean it dude. Big words are not necessary, in fact, not recommended.</p>
<p>Thanx alooooooooot, got it. ur wonderful thnx</p>
<p>Any other commenst</p>
<p>This subject was a prompt for an essay when I applied to high school! It's lacks sophistication unless there is something extraordinary in your room!</p>
<p>Really suze? coz this is Northwestern's prompt (what high school do u attend?)</p>