<p>S's dorm roommate is a filthy slob. On move in day, his parents warned me that he was messy, but I had no idea to what extent. My S is so fed up with dealing with all of the roommate's trash, dirty clothes, old food, etc stinking up their room and oozing onto his side. Their room is fairly large and my S barely has any space. He's tried every air freshener that we can think of and nothing is helping.</p>
<p>They get along fine personality wise. I am encouraging S to talk to roommate and/or the RA. The school doesn't want bugs and heck, we are paying a lot for this room. For what it's worth, it has made my S appreciate cleanliness and he has really become a tidy housekeeper (for his stuff...):)</p>
<p>Get your S the economy-size Febreeze. If that doesn't do it, the industrial-strength odor eliminators will. Then chill. This isn't your problem, it's you son's.</p>
<p>My S's roommate last year also was a slob. This included his leaving his sweaty athletic clothes in the middle of the room -- for weeks. When H and I visited, we could hardly stand the odor. S handled things by staying out of his room as much as possible and by using air freshener. S also got quite an appreciation for the importance of cleanliness.</p>
<p>You are lucky in that your S at least gets along with his roommate, who from what you've said seems -- except for his being a slob -- a good roommate.</p>
<p>My S's freshmen roommate also would bring girls in to have sex in the middle of the night while my S was trying to sleep. And the roommate lost his key early in the year and never got it replaced, so S always had to carry his major valuables with him because their door never was locked. (I told S to talk to the RA about this, but he didn't).</p>
<p>Remember, that by paying for your kid to be in a dorm, you're not just paying for the accommodations, but for your kid to learn life lessons including some you'd never imagine your kid would learn. ;)</p>
<p>Oh, S learned a lot from his roommate situation last year, and has absolutely marvelous roommates this year.</p>
<p>As well, your S should feel comfortable in "taking action." By which I mean pushing (or kicking ;) ) stuff which is "oozing" onto his side back onto roomie's side. Getting a box, bin or basket and sticking smelly stuff in it and putting it outside the door. Explaining to roomie, if asked, that he was having trouble studying/sleeping/relaxing due to the smell.</p>
<p>He may not feel comfortable doing these things, but he should. Remember the old concept of "assertiveness training?" Holds water here, I think.</p>
<p>Yes, it's a big problem when you live with Pigpen. You can object about the smell and make a line of tape to keep the debris on one side of the room, but really not a lot you can do about it. You can request another room, but who knows what you will get. Though they say cleanliness is next to Godliness, there are a lot worse problems with roommates you can get.</p>
<p>Don't use air fresher, get the most noxious cologne or perfume you can find, spray it all over the messy roommates side of the room, get several fans to direct all the smells in one direction and if the roommate complains, it can be time to work out some compromises.</p>
<p>What about encouraging your s to talk to the roommate mano a mano.....like listen dude, i like you a lot but there are somethings I can't live with ....smelly foods and clothes are one...so lets agree to keep teh food in the trash and take it out daily and try to pick up clothes and put them in your closet daily ....</p>
<p>I have a version of the "stick it in a box" idea. While living off campus I had a roommate whose baking paraphernalia was frequently left all over the kitchen. We got along well accept for this one thing.We discussed it and it didn't change so one night when the mixing bowl and bread pan etc were going on the second weekend in our tiny kitchen, I put them in her bed. She cleaned up after herself after that.</p>
<p>D is a slob and we told her that she needed to straighten up because she would be going off to college and it would cause her roommate problems in the future. Turned out her roommate was just like she was! </p>
<p>When I was in law school, there was one guy who was really nice, but he really was a slob! His roommate was a neatnik. You could look into their room as you walked by and they had the door open. It was like there was an invisible line down the middle of the room...one side, neat as could be; the other side, you couldn't walk on the carpet, there was so much stuff strewn around.</p>
<p>I guess they worked it out.</p>
<p>So I agree that you should let your son work it out himself. And I wouldn't allow him to gripe to you about it unless he's taken every step he can to remedy the problem.</p>
<p>I can't agree with catalina's idea. First of all, smelly perfume would stink up the OP's son's side of the room too. But more importantly, OP's son wants to solve the problem, not start a war. The two roommates need to agree on a standard, and on what to do if the standard is not met.</p>
<p>I'm surprised they stuck the two of them together. You'd think housing at the school would match according to such a huge trait like neat vs slob; similarly, smoking vs not, early bird vs night owl.</p>
<p>My then freshman son, a slob, was matched to another slob, so it was OK. I can't even begin to go into details about moving out day in May. Suffice it to say a lot of stuff, including clothes, was thrown out. It was a nightmare.</p>
<p>S is 3 yrs out of college, lives with gf, and is still a slob. We don't understand how she lives with him.</p>
<p>When he filled out his freshman dorm app, my slobby older S originally planned to say that he was very neat. He thought that would mean that he'd be matched with a neat roommate who'd clean up after him.</p>
<p>Fortunately, he shared that idea with me, and I convinced him to tell the truth. As a result, he got a roommate who shared his habits. </p>
<p>Once, when I called, to my surprise S and his roommate were cleaning their room. I asked if he was preparing for a room inspection.</p>
<p>"No," he replied. "We're cleaning so we can walk on the floor."</p>
<p>OP here- the housing office did their job...on S's questionnaire he put that he was messy. In our family's opinion, S was super messy. Apparently we didn't know people really lived like they're on that TV show "Clean House". S's idea of messy and the roommate idea of messy are different.</p>
<p>That's the case for my son too. He put down that he was "mostly neat" or something like that. I never considered him mostly neat... but he said compared to his friends' bedrooms he was pretty tidy. It's true he never left food laying around. Clothes... sometimes. Mostly, though it was books and papers. Tons of papers. All over the floor.</p>
<p>His roommate is very, very neat.</p>
<p>I haven't heard that there is any tension between them though... although it's not usually the messy one that shares that info. He did say there are papers all over floor on his side of the room. Surprise! ...not.</p>
<p>Carnegie Mellon's form asked how often you would clean your room. The choices were something like every day, once a week, once a month, never. My son almost put once a month, but changed it to never at the last minute. His room was very untidy, clothes strewn everywhere by both kids, but not as bad as I feared. It was clear that they must have cleaned the bathroom regularly and while the kitchen stove was dirty, it certainly was not a year's worth of mess.</p>
<p>My, son(also an admitted slob) is living with a slob who doesn't shut up. (OY!!!) I told him to speak to the RA, he hasn't. He wants a single--hasn't talked to anyone about it!!! I recently called him to ask him about his Thanksgiving plans and he was doing his laundry and cleaning his room. I asked him how often he does it and he said he changes his sheets once a week, does laundry once a week and runs the dustbuster several times a week. I fell off my chair! </p>
<p>I found out he now sleeps with earplugs...the constant talking bothers him more. See, it's just a matter of which one is more annoying. The whole thing is his problem and he can figure it out!!! He says he loves school, so I guess none of it is bothering him that much. I told my kids that freshman year is probably the only time in your life that you won't be able to pick with whom you live.....it's just a roommate. Its just for a few months!!!</p>
<p>My son is messy. He did luck out in the fact that he has not seen his roommate since move in day. The roommate made the bed, hung a towel and left some music equipment yet has never been back. Strange.
When we visited I resisted the urge to take out the trash and throw out the cup with mold growing in it from the desk. It is his mess- glad I don't live with him.</p>