My UC Essay #2 feels soooooo cliche and simple. Need serious edits

College Essays
1

<p>I finished it in about an hour after taking me 4 days to finally think of something to write about.</p>

<p>But it feels so cliche. I hate it. But I honestly have nothing else to write about.</p>

<p>I would appreciate some serious editing here because I really feel like it needs a lot of work.</p>

<p>If you want to read it, post. I would prefer people who have already finished their essays :)</p>

2

<p>Let me see it.</p>

<p>I already applied to UC's and commonapp early (so I can't change any essays).</p>

<p>Thank you, ShinPhilip000
Your application for undergraduate admission and scholarships for fall 2008 has been received. An email confirmation will be sent to <a href="mailto:flipshin@gmail.com">flipshin@gmail.com</a> shortly.</p>

<p>PLEASE PRINT THIS RECEIPT AND KEEP IT FOR YOUR RECORDS.
Click the button below to open a printer-friendly version of this receipt.</p>

<p>Date: 11/05/2007
Application ID: 4001723</p>

<p>..</p>

<p>Electronic Signature provided on Nov. 05, 2007</p>

3

<p>I'll read it.</p>

4

<p>Sure I can edit, I'm not applying to any UCs</p>

5

<p>alright sent.</p>

<p>anymore readers? i would really like to get this thing completely done by today/tomorrow! :)</p>

6

<p>Go for it..</p>

7

<p>sure, if you'd like. I'm not applying to UC's, btw.</p>

8

<p>thanks, sent.</p>

<p>bump.</p>

9

<p>i'll read it too</p>

10

<p>bump. very few people actually responded. plz help guys. i need this done by today =[</p>

11

<p>Send it over. I could do it right now if you want.</p>

12

<p>I'll try to help out if I can</p>

13

<p>PM it over baybayyy</p>

<p>jetsley</p>

14

<p>pm pm pm pm pm pm pm pm pm pm</p>