<p>Wow. that essay...idk.
I wrote the first one (~4 hours) scraped it, second one (~3 hours) scraped it, and the third one (~2 hours) and sent that one in. All three were quite diff, too.<br>
Could some of you post your essay (if u think it's good) after tuesday, just so I can see how ppl wrote? (i'll post mine for comparison, or whatever)
Sent mine today... crazy.<br>
Good luck all~</p>
<p>You spent a total of 9 hours writing a 300 word essay??? wow...I did three drafts (ie scrap the previous one, but use a little bit of it in the next one) too, but each took around 20-30 min and was done past 12.....
I have a bad essay though. My recs are supposedly really good and one is from a math professor who lets me teach/do problems on the board in a college senior level class sometimes. Also, I included a copy of my abstract and paper that I submitted to SW and got me to regionals.</p>
<p>My essay is, well...crappy...</p>
<p>The very thread of our society is based on the fundamental truths of science. From the ground-breaking ideas of Plato to the scientific revelations of Einstein, our society has been shaped and determined by science. In todays society, scientific discovery is a steering wheel for industries, media, finances and most importantly, the world. It seems as though science has single handedly shown that knowledge is power and that all things are possible through the acquisition of information. Our futures are essentially being written by the advancements made in scientific research. Every aspect of our future is defined by science. Imagine, waking up 30 years into the future. We begin to brush our teeth, but cannot find a toothbrush. Instead a single tablet containing millions upon millions of nanodendrimers is placed into our mouth. In seconds, the nanopolymers bond themselves to plaque and other germs found in the mouth and dissolve each particle into fresh oxygen. Or imagine trying to go use a car. When we try to get into the car, we do not have keys, but instead human facial recognition algorithms based on Bayesian analysis networks hard programmed into the lock system. And instead of a gas gauge, the vehicle contains an antimatter-velocity gauge, because the engines are powered by slow antimatter production in sub-nuclear conditions. These anecdotes may seem impractical today, and in some sense they are, but relative to the manner in which science is progressing, they may not seem so far-fetched in the next few years. These anecdotes were simply a means of representing that science will not only affect scientists in the future, but also the life of every organism, from the smallest bacteria to the life and breadth of the universe. </p>
<p>....i don't think it has any personality!!</p>
<p>he zogoto...do you think we are allowed to include our SW papers...i didnt do it for RSI cuz i thought they said no?</p>
<p>bayesguy, no offense, but that might be the most generic essay ive ever read</p>
<p>The problem is the essay prompt. It is too generic. It also gives no idea about what the selectors would like to see in the essay. For instance, it is an unusual prompt in that it doesn't ask students anything about themselves and their interest in the program. My impression is that it's only designed to see if the applicants can write grammatical, coherent sentences. The program gets hundreds more applicants than it can select. Seems the selection committee would have created a question that helped them narrow the applicant pool more.</p>
<p>I appreciate your input, but I just didn't know what else to write...</p>
<p>BayesGuy, your essay is good. You've presented an interesting revelation; the work of science in even the most trivial objects. As for your own personality, it might have none. However, your essay does have a ring to it; I can feel what you are saying. As for others' criticisms, don't take them too harsh. People oftentimes criticize other people to make themselves feel good; like they have a chance for SHARP. That's how I think the psychology of human beings work. But the only opinion that matters, is SHARP's opinion. </p>
<p>I don't have a problem with your writing style. It's difficult to write what, a 300-800 words? Yet, you did what you did; wrote 300-800 words or whatever. I realize what you mean when you say you didn't know what else to write. Clearly that would be a trouble, and even the top notch students on this board cannot deny that.</p>
<p>What's better? A rec from Stat AP teacher or Interactive Math 7-8 teacher? Stat is an elective while IMP is a core class... They're both high recs. Cuz I'm applying to both commuter and residential. The thing is, IMP teacher sealed the envelop and signed the seal so if I send in that one, I'll have to send the Stat rec to the other one. Hope that sentence makes sense... However, my Stat teacher just gave me back the rec w.out envelope so I can just make a copy and send to both residential and commuter. Which course should I take?</p>
<p>... teachers aren't just suppose to hand out reccomendations. They are suppose to hand them out sealed. When I applied to NASA last year, I was required to wave my right to ever see what the teachers said.</p>
<p>jthecanadian, i wasnt trying to make myself "feel good" by saying BayesGuy's essay was generic - i for one, would appreciate much more if someone criticized my work than if someone just blatanly said 'its good.' Obviously, he isnt satisfied with his essay, so whats the point of not trying to point out problems?
I didnt have time to elaborate earlier, but what i meant was the essay seems like its just way too general and something the any of the thousands of applicants would write. I'm hoping northstarmom is incorrect in stating that they are only looking for correct grammar- this is one of most prestigous programs in the country. I instead, wrote about some specific enigma in astronomy that is currently baffling scientists and I tried to make it sound its impact could potentially be huge, or be nothing, instead of just going along with "science affects everything"</p>
<p>just my two cents</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses! :) This is very interesting - the essay really makes you think twice about padding your essay up - a habit that I formed so thoroughly that I essentially ignored it. But of course, padding my essay up with a word limit will kill my essay.</p>
<p>Can someone comment on my essay as well? It's generic, but yeah, the prompt pretty much gives no other choice. If I wrote a very specific answer, it wouldn't really be answering the prompt... =/</p>
<p>295 words</p>
<p>There are optimists who believe that technology will make human immortality possible, even allowing humans to escape the universe once its collapse is inevitable. There are pessimists who believe that technology will lead to weapons that will wipe out human civilization. There is one common opinion shared by all however that technology will inevitably change our civilizations future.</p>
<p>In the near future, improved technology will revolutionize our civilization. We may find solutions to many problems the aging of the human body, the upcoming energy crisis, the loss of time through transportation, the resistance that flowing electrons encounter. Quixotic ideas such as quantum teleportation and anti-matter driven propulsion may yield tremendous potential. Bioengineering could provide more functions to the human body and increase human potential merging the biological with the electronic. Civilization may also be no longer restricted to the Earth, as we may be able to establish colonies on other objects of our solar system. We may even discover a new scientific field, opening up new technological possibilities that we cannot comprehend today. Just before Einstein formulated the laws of relativity, who would have thought that time dilation and converting mass into energy were possible? </p>
<p>In the far future, technology is imperative if we wish to survive longer than the Earth. While technology has almost destroyed human civilization, it may also provide the only means for the survival of civilization. The Sun will envelope into a red giant, destroying the Earth, and we will need to find a means of escape. Technology will provide us with the only means to escape Earth and to find another habitable solar system, or even establish our own environment. While we cannot violate the laws of physics, technology will enable us to push to the very limits of physics.</p>
<p>simfish, that is a pretty entertaining essay, very sci-fi-ish at some points
That being said, the last sentence HAS to be changed - you just mention the laws of physics out of nowhere
ill post mine up when im done with it</p>
<p>" I'm hoping northstarmom is incorrect in stating that they are only looking for correct grammar- this is one of most prestigous programs in the country. "</p>
<p>I am only guessing since I lack any inside info on NASA SHARP. </p>
<p>What i know, however, is that it's set up to attract URMs to the hard sciences. It only is hard to attract URMs to the hard sciences. Relatively few URMs also have access to excellent AP/IB courses in the hard sciences that would give the students the skills for that field.</p>
<p>In addition, many URMs are not able (for financial reasons) or willing to travel to participate in a program like NASA SHARP. Even though it pays students to attend, if students have family responsibilities (such as having to take care of younger sibs while parents work nights), they may not be able to participate in NASA SHARP. Another problem with URMS is weak writing skills. One can just look at the average SAT I v and SAT II writing scores for URMs to see how weak are the skills of many.</p>
<p>Thus, I would be very surprised if NASA SHARP will be screening most applicants based on their knowedge of scientific research and based on their writing an essay of the sophisticated type that you describe. That, to me, would be more appropriate for a program such as RSI, which is open to everyone and is designed to attract the most talented, passionate science students of all races.</p>
<p>I have read that NASA SHARP students have to write research articles. My belief is that the essay is to make sure that accepted applicants have the writing skills to produce a research article. The program probably is designed to mainly focus on teaching science skills, and would not be set up to offer much assistance to people who are far behind in their writing skills yet would expected to produce by the summer's end an article appropriate for a journal.</p>
<p>who knows. . .</p>
<p>My IMP teacher handed to me sealed. The other two gave it to me. Hope the people who review apps won't think I opened them myself. Which looks better? IMP or AP Stat? </p>
<p>I like simfish's essay...</p>
<p>They aren't going to judge the essays based on class. Which teacher do you feel likes you better, connects with you on a higher level, cares for you more?</p>
<p>I have a question about this NASA SHARP program. I am a high school senior, who's going to college next fall. Would I be eligible for the program?</p>
<p>I agree with northstarmom... I've spent so much time on this, it's ridiculous. I should've read that it was for URMs long ago.
too late.<br>
I still hope to get in though.</p>
<p>As I said before, there were 5 white males in my program of 25 people. There were also 5 white girls.
And you are eligible as a senior to apply for the first time. I did the program as a junior last year, and I am gaurenteed a spot this year if I wanted to apply, but there were a few people going into college the next fall doing SHARP for the first time.</p>