<p>OP- my heart breaks for all of you. What a tough situation and how wonderful that you can retain perspective on your kids educational needs with all the other very overwhelming pressures you are facing.</p>
<p>My two cents- kids who are successful in engineering typically have one or two of the "markers" of an engineering kid- participation in robotics, have been taking toasters apart since they were three, obsession with legos or go-carts or how TV's work, etc. You get my drift. In addition to the math/science piece, there is a hands-on component to most engineering programs that also serve as a weed-out factor-- the problem solving skills and intense curiousity about how stuff works is daunting to a kid who isn't really passionate about the field.</p>
<p>Having said that, there is nothing to suggest that your D won't like or be successful in engineering- just that I don't read her profile and think, 'hey, an engineer". You should also be senstive to the reality that a kid who freezes up under a lot of academic pressure is going to find Freshman year a really tough slog- in addition to adjusting to college, being away from home, some ambivalence about leaving an ill parent, etc. There is nothing "coddling" about Freshman year for an engineering major- the courses have to be taken in sequence, they are required, and although there will be support in the form of tutoring, study groups, TA's, review sessions regardless of where she goes- even kids from top science and math schools tend to feel that everyone else has had better preparation. Sometimes it's true, sometimes not, but it is daunting to feel that you were the top math kid at your HS but the student next to you was the top math kid in the state or region.</p>
<p>My only short term suggestion is to push hard for her to start off the year in the top math class. She can move down more readily than she can move up; she'll know by late October if she's truly in over her head; she will be shortchanging her options in more ways than just engineering if she doesn't at least try a more challenging math sequence.</p>
<p>There are many fantastic careers for a kid with solid math prep- even for kids who don't live and breathe it. Finance, Statistics, Actuarial Science, Pharmacy (a good option if she's really into health care but doesn't see herself as a nurse), and a ton of other allied health professions. Solid math skills give her an enormous leg up as a nurse- pharma companies, insurance companies, large hospital systems and HMO's all hire people to do case review, statistical management of outcomes and stuff like that. A friend of mine who went to nursing school because she disliked little kids (her options at the time were teaching or nursing) is now running patient recruitment for clinical trials at a large teaching hospital/Med school. She got the job because of two statistics courses she took as electives way back when, and had been the only girl in her AP calc class back in the dark ages.</p>
<p>My thoughts are with you at this tough time for your family. Your D sounds like a fantastic human being and a great student- you have a lot to be proud of.</p>