My name is Hannah and I’m a recent high school graduate and new psychology undergraduate student here at UT Austin. During my high school years, I participated in a Dual-Credit program which allowed me to receive my associate degree by the time I graduated. This being said, although I was accepted into UT under the label of “freshman,” I’m actually a junior and am on track to graduate in the spring of 2018.
The reason I’m telling you all of this and posting here today is simple: I’m having a tough time making friends because of my unique situation. Since I am not a true freshman, I don’t have the opportunity to participate in the traditional “befriending” activities of sorts (such as participating in a FIG or UGS class). I don’t have any friends that attend UT, except for an acquaintance from high school and a few freshman acquaintances that I met at orientation (though I haven’t really spoken to them since the first few weeks of school. I live on campus with a roommate (whom I just met this year), and her and I are cordial, but don’t really “click” in terms of friendship. Furthermore, most of my classes consist of juniors and seniors, all of whom seem like they already their own groups of friends, so I don’t really blend well with them either.
I’ve tried getting involved with clubs and such (mainly psychology-related organizations), but I’m not interested in Greek life or Spirit clubs or anything like that. To be perfectly honest, I’m quite introverted and I hate small talk. I don’t like wild partying or the general rowdiness of young adults. However, I promise I’m not completely antisocial. I do like having friends (I didn’t have an issue making friends in high school), and going out and doing interesting things (concerts, exotic dining, etc.), but it just seems to me that trying to make friends here is about as easy as stapling water to a tree.
And all of this has got me feeling quite lonely and bad about myself.
So I’m looking to you guys for some advice. How can I comfortably make friends here at UT given my circumstances? Do you guys have any suggestions?
Having difficulty making friends in college is not unusual. There is a college life subforum on college confidential and if you look at it, you’ll see a lot of posts about this subject with a lot of helpful suggestions that are not specific to UT. Keep trying organizations that interest you and try to invite acquaintances to eat lunch or dinner with you. Tell your RA you are looking to make friends-they probably know others who are too.
My advice would be to look at service groups where you can volunteer together.
Also, if you’re religious, there are many campus ministries that make it easy to meet people and they often go do stuff together like dancing, rec sports, camping etc.
Walk the West Mall and join email lists for news of clubs and their meeting times.
Watch a movie in a common lounge area and see who stops by. Maybe a version of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. -taking a clue from your user name.
We told our students to get information for more activities than they had time for and then keep the ones you like the best.
Good luck to you! Keep being intentional and you’ll find your niche.
Join a cultural organization. They do everything that greek/spirit orgs do (social events, volunteering, general meetings, intramural sports, formals, parties, etc) without the exclusivity aspect.
Generally if an organization has a large active facebook group and a well maintained website (check out the ABSA one for example), it’s probably one of the better ones.
I have a transfer to UT - so similar boat to you somewhat. Join an intramural team. If you don’t have a team, put one together from those folks on the “free agent” list. Join a major specific club - what’s your major? Alpha Phi Omega is a great community service co-ed organization. There’s a game night that is every Friday night at the union - FB group “Texas Table Top” There are lots of opportunities, but you will definitely have to put yourself out there and probably feel awkward or uncomfortable a few times to make those connections. It’s hard and it’s not easy sometimes, but the end result will be worth it!
