<p>I Currently Live in Austin,tx but temporary moved to an uncle house in Hidalgo County (south central Texas) due to 2 semester academic suspension from a community college in austin.
The suspension was well deserved... I been taking 5 semesters already of college in which all with the exception of one ended in failure.
1 semester took 5 courses > Failed All with perfect attendance with exception of one
2 Semester took 2 courses > Dropped out all of them
3 Semester took 3 courses > Failed-- very bad attendance
4 Semester took 1 course >> Passed
5 Semester took 2 courses one locally >> Failed and one withdraw
Depression > >>>>>>>>>
The thing is that i stressed about the fact that i am loosing time with this two semester i am going to be out. (until August this year)
I have a tendency to be very shy and very hard for me to make friendships that led me to series of feelings that at the end impaired my own judgement and it became very hard for me to handle everydays decision to the point were i stop eating for entire weeks, no sleep to sleeping whole days. All of this this led me to fail every single time i tried to get myself back together...
Bad Problem Solving Skills >>>>
The thing i am worried is that i can not make myself function normaly since everybad experience ended up replacing my good habits with bad habits apparently my conciousness trying to fix the problem my self i ended up doing the exact opposite. My failure to recover ended up in more failures to point where i left myself to the last possible course of action.. to do nothing
Destruction of My Coping mechanism<<</p>
<p>I ended up not following the activities i like, i stop talking to people, stop going out, stop working on technology and science related stuff..
Primarily i stop performing music.. I know myself enough that's the primary stress reliever and one of the things that make me feel fulfilled</p>
<p>Where it began>>>
I think my "depression" started before i even moved because of family issues and stuff i ended up feeling that i was alone in certain ways.
Worried about>>
I am worried about how could i possibly recover from all of this and how i get myself to start my studying habits again,,, and i am worried if ever be able to study in the subjet i want to study and i ever will be able to get a reasearch degree as planned. I wanted to go to a good school but as far as i am getting myself to , i believe it will be nearly impossible to do..</p>