I’m glad you are being supportive. If it’s only two weeks in, it’s too soon to push the panic button.
I like what someone said above … she’s not doing this stuff TO you. Especially if depression is an issue.
(I would like to comment, that since it’s this early in the semester, grades don’t really reflect a person’s work. For example, so far, I only have 1 test for each of my classes in the gradebook, which makes my grades look… not-so-good. Once I start turning things in, though, my grades will shoot back up. It happens every semester, and I get extremely stressed out when my parents bother me about my grades. And the more they bother me, the less I feel like turning things in, and the busier I feel, and the worse my grades become, and the more they bother me about it… And then I end up snapping at my parents, because I don’t want them to know how overwhelmed I am… Just giving you a perspective from a high school senior here 
)
In my opinion, your daughter has more than enough time to bring her grades back up. Continue to be supportive of her, show her some love. From your posts it sounds like you want the best for her, so that’s good.
I would hesitate in making her attend the state school as punishment for a bad case of Senioritis.
I can’t imagine her putting her all into a college career that’s based on punishment.
You made a deal with all your children. Keep up your end if it’s at all economically feasible. But remind her that her acceptance into ANY school is always contingent upon graduation, and that the scholarship money she’s earned may be tied into her GPA.
Please remember that the late teens and early 20’s is commonly a time for serious mental health problems to emerge for the first time, particularly in people who have already had only mild/manageable issues up to that point.
Maybe it’s time for a full psych evaluation just for everyone’s peace of mind. From an MD psychiatrist, not merely a therapist. If she has already been seeing a psychiatrist, it’s a good time for a second opinion/reassessment. You would hate to send her away to college and have this erupt full blown when she’s away. If she gets a clean assessment, great.
Mark1965, I feel your pain. My son has been going through the same battle this year – he’s had ADHD since forever, and beginning last summer, depression and anxiety came into the mix. His performance this year sounds eerily similar to your daughters’, except for him, the dip began happening second quarter of first semester. But because our high school is on the block schedule, a year’s worth of work happens in one semester, so the seriousness of pulling Cs and Ds for the first time was heightened. Here’s what we’ve been doing: 1) he trusts his doc that monitors his ADHD, and she was the one to persuade him to try anti-depressants. If you are at all thinking about going that route-- do it now! The first six months are all about finding the right med and the right dosage. It’s not easy and can sometimes make things worse before they get better. You’ll want that straightened out BEFORE she heads off to college. You don’t want her starting on meds when she might not keep up with a doctor’s monitoring appointments, especially if she starts on the wrong medication and has bad side effects. 2) I began asking to have 10-15 minutes at the end of his therapy appointments, to talk about ways we can improve our communication. We both know he doesn’t want to fail and get his college acceptances rescinded, but we couldn’t get past the bluster to talk about what’s really going on. A good therapist can help mediate and show different ways to approach tough subjects. 3) We did set up a 504 back in grade school, which he bristled at and tried to pretend didn’t exist. He almost never needed it until this year. Now, we are really thankful to have kept it. With his permission, we talked with each of his teachers about what’s been going on and what we’ve been doing to respond. They have been very supportive–which doesn’t mean they didn’t give him bad grades if he earned them, but they did allow him to go back and turn in missed assignments – all the way up to the day after the semester ended. He squeaked by, pulling the D and C up to Bs in the last week of the semester. You may want to ask your daughter’s guidance counselor if a 504 could be set up for her last semester – not just to alert her teachers, but also to have on record for her college that she has qualified for special accommodations. We’ve been told that colleges are much more likely to allow accommodations if this paper trail exists. (And again, he may never need it, but it’s a good safety net to have.) 4) Our son is on very good terms with his guidance counselor, so she suggested that he come in once a week to chat with her about how his school work is going and whether he needs any assistance organizing his study time. Her view (along with ours) is that he needs to learn to ask for outside help before things go south, and he needs to learn to stay on track without constant prodding from Mom and Dad. Our overall goal is to make sure our son knows life can be difficult at times, but as long as he knows help is available and where he can turn for help, he’s going to pull through just fine.
agree the money condition, in advance, is a great idea. I also urge you not to renege on your offer to pay, your integrity is important to you, and as a life lesson to student.
.I’d also recommend additional minimum standards BEFORE college begins. Will you still pay if college gpa is 3.0? 2.5? 2.0? 1.0? Will you pay for 4, 5, 6 yrs of undergrad? If there are other conditions, set them now; not after-the-fact.
Just like the money, these standards also need to be set before college begins.
I would get your D what ever medical attentions she needs, but
Your original agreement concerning financing college is self fulfilling. Bad grades equals no extra merit money for expensive private and possible recension of current acceptances. Trust me you don’t need to impose any punishment or additional restrictions the reality of the consequences will be terribly more painful than anything you could impose.
I do agree that most teachers are missing grades in the first 2 weeks of a grading period so that could be it. And also I was terrible to my parents during my senior year. I’m not sure why, they were actually terribly supportive and kind. I was just mean and stressed. Good luck she lucky to have you.
Not a big fan of gap year, it’s really hard to get back into the study habit after taking extended time off. I would be more of a fan of a light first year. 12 hours of easy to medium difficultly classes maybe.