@CheddarcheeseMN That is really helpful. I will add it in. Great Thanks
Please click on the following link for updated version.
Thanks everyone
Here is the updated one. My other thread is closed.
I am writing this letter to appeal against the outcome of the formal hearing with Mr. XXX in the student conduct office regarding the violation of the two university policies – Alcoholic Beverage and Damage/Destruction. Mr. XXX has decided to suspend me from the university for one semester. I admitted being responsible for these violations, but I find the penalty is unduly harsh to me specifically. I urge you to reconsider the suspension.
The major issue with suspension is about my identity. Being an international student, I would be deported immediately once I am suspended. Because of the accident that caused these violations, I have an arrest record for Drive While Intoxicated, and this is a criminal record based on the laws of Virginia. After speaking with the International Graduate Student Services (IGSS), I understand that obtaining a new visa to reenter the US is extremely difficult in this case. IGSS has provided a letter explaining the issues that I could be facing while applying for a new visa and reentering into the US. This becomes a much more serious problem as my court date is set on 16th Feb, 2017. Being suspended now, I will have to leave the United States immediately and miss my court date, which adds another layer of complexity to the reentering process. With these issues, this suspension would actually become a dismissal to me.
Moreover, next semester would be my last semester at XXX and I will be completing two master degrees: Chemistry and Industrial and System Engineering (ISE). For my chemistry degree, I only have to defend my research topic and my thesis is close to be done. This research work is highly appraised by my research advisor, Prof. XXXX, in the chemistry department and he is looking forward to participating my defense. The bigger problem is my degree in ISE. I only have to take one more class to complete my degree, Optimization II, and this course is only offered in spring semesters. I have already consulted with the graduate program coordinator in ISE department, and Optimization II cannot be substituted with any other courses. In addition, I have maintained a high GPA (3.96) in ISE. If I could not come back, all I have worked for will be worthless. Even if I could come back to the States, being suspended for a semester, my expected graduation date will be deferred for one year.
I understand that a successful appeal is partially based on the likelihood of recurrences of any violation. I have provided five letters of character reference to show my good character. I have been in the US for 10 years and have always done my best to obey every state and school law. This is my first offence and will be the last. I have also committed to quitting alcohol and have never had a drop since the accident happened. Since my arrest, I have become a regular participant at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings to stay reminded the consequence of drinking.
I have already been suffering from depression, financial loss, declining performance in academic since the accident happened. I understand that I am responsible for these but I always behave well, follow order, and treat others nicely. If I am given a second chance, I would be an even better person. I am planning to talk to the Language and Culture Institution to seek the opportunity to present my story on this accident to the new international students. Drinking has always been an issue for them because of the culture shock. However, most international students are not aware of the serious consequences of violating state or school policy of alcohol. If I could stay here next semester, I would have this chance to share my story.
I believe a less serious sanction than suspension would do more good than harm on me and the community. This is really critical to my future and I sincerely ask you to be discretionary when making the decision, hopefully a favorable one
@CheddarcheeseMN @thumper1 @compmom @happy1 @college_query
Would you take a look again at post 23 and see if this is better?
This is excellent overall.
Instead of “unduly harsh”, which sounds like you are criticizing them, I would write “especially difficult for me due to certain special circumstances.” And then “I hope you will reconsider…” rather than “urge” which sounds pushy.
For the sentence beginning “I have already suffered” I would leave out specifics and just put “many personal consequences.”
Otherwise it’s all good. Good luck, hope they listen!
@compmom Thanks for all the helps. I will look into it and make a final change. If you are interested, I message you the result so you know if this work. Thanks so much
Okay and the best of luck.