<p>Yeah, vague title, but I'm just extremely confused about what I want to do in the future and need help. This is going to be extremely long, but even if no one reads this or just skips to the end, venting somewhere helps since I don't know who to talk to, and don't have anyone who I can talk to and be completely honest about how I feel (I end up making some fluff excuse for everything...yet for some reason I'm more comfortable putting this out where the whole world to see? idk).</p>
<p>I've been saying I want to double in math/biz and perhaps go into investment banking, but I'm not sure if that's what I really want anymore. I'm not sure if I'm just feeling discouraged by the curve of econ 1 and ugba 10 and want to take the "easy" way out, if the people I talk to (phys/math/eng majors) are influencing me, or if this really just isn't for me. I feel like everyone else already knows what they want to do, and have something they're passionate about, and I'm just failing at life and going with what I think is "easy" and will give me bajillions of monies (investment banking :/) - I feel like my mind is stuck in elementary school mode or something, only I had a better idea of what I wanted back then...and thinking "everything is so cool!" doesn't help either :/ I didn't want to go pre-med since I felt like after that I would be "stuck" as a doc and same for engineering, etc, and I thought biz has a lot more room for advancement, or something like that...I don't even know anymore...actually, now I'm thinking it just had to do with the money. Yeah, that's probably it.</p>
<p>I think the concepts we learn in econ and stuff are cool and all, but I hate reading. That's why I got away from english/philosophy/etc asap. I'd much rather just do math problems, but when it gets technical and proofy, that turns me away too (maybe because I haven't done too much of that and have no idea what I'm doing?). Then again, I may just be lazy. I remember having fun in a HS programming course, but it was easy and just BASIC and C++. I was thinking of switching to EECS, but I heard it's really hard to transfer, and I have 7 courses to take (Physics 7A/B, 4 of: CS 61A/B/C, EE20N, EE40, and 1 additional tech course) by next spring, so I wouldn't be able to continue trying more biz/econ courses if I do, and I want to avoid science - I think - but that may just be me being lazy, but I'm not sure of that either. I did think phys was fun in high school, but there's this essay to write. What do I say? I fail at life, can't make up my mind, and don't like getting B's in courses with easy material and cutthroat people so I'm going to give up before I take actual courses?</p>
<p>For those of you who actually read through this, how should I start figuring out what I want to do/what I like? I don't know if I'm just being lazy and giving up, because if that's the case, if engineering is insanely hard, who knows if I won't get lazy with that too? CAN I EVEN GET INTO COE? If I just say screw all this and go only applied math, will I be cutting off a lot of options? Can I still go into banking later I that is what I actually do like? </p>
<p>I can type this stuff out forever, but probably need someone to talk to :( At the rate this is going I'm just going to break down and start crying and crawl into a hole or something....and I don't even remember the last time that happened...like 5 years ago when I though my grandma would die....</p>
<p>wow...I feel better after that....it's like an essay...hehe</p>