I am going to head into my senior year of high school this coming fall. I, however want to transfer schools, much to my parent’s disagreement. I have moved schools before (changing school districts in middle school because I moved to a new house), and this school I really want to go to is like 20-30 minutes away. The main reason I want to transfer is because of athletics. My parents think it is ridiculous, but it’s something I really want to badly happen. I’m not trying to be dramatic here, but I really don’t like my school and the wrestling program they have. With the team I am currently on, it just sucks. I met with this other school, and in fact they actually want me to go there for my last year of high school. I’ve had 3 coaches and 5+ students from there who have mentioned it in a way. This team has a girls wrestling program that gets the necessary attention and I am in the weight class they need too. How I got in contact with this team in the 1st place is that I started training with them a bit in the off season. I spent time with these people, saw how they are as a team, how they treated me, how they train, & I really like how it is there. I also feel, that with this transfer, it will help me out academically too. With girls wrestling on the rise, more colleges are developing programs for it and I could possibly get a scholarship to college. Plus, transferring will also teach and give me life skills on how to deal with situations, being on an actual team, etc. Overall, I really just want to transfer. I truly don’t want to continue at the same school senior year. My parents say it’s just 1 more year, but I can’t take it anymore over there. The program at my school makes me dread the stuff I usually love. My mom tells me the club is good enough and to stay at my school and worries about the politics, but it truly isn’t and I don’t really care anymore. Going to that other school and being with that team make some feel like a part of a family and like I belong. I know some people will disagree with everything I said, but can someone help me please? I know there will be challenges along the way, but the only reason my parents want me to stay is because of the “politics” and I just can’t take it anymore. Thank You very much to whoever is reading this, I appreciate you for reading all of this, and please help me out. Any advice or ways to help me will be really appreciated.
Anybody reading, I really need help with this. Any advice or any way to convince my parents will be truly appreciated. Thanks again.
What are your parents’ specific concerns? How will you get to/from the new school? Are there any additional costs to incur? How will the transfer potentially impact them? What do you mean by the “politics”?
The reality is your senior year academics are not going to have much impact on your college admissions process since at most, schools will see your first semester so as a parent, that argument wouldn’t sway me. Same with athletic scholarships since usually recruitment happens junior year.
As a parent, I would also want to hear about the academics at this new school and how you will get your courses scheduled, and making sure you get into the level of classes you need.
If you are going to argue your case effectively, have specifics examples of why your current team and school aren’t working for you, and what you would be gaining transferring.
Does the school you want to go to have open enrollment? Where I live, you have to go to the school your home is zoned for unless there is a special (academic) program not offered at your home school.
For the politics, it’s the coaching and environment overall. My parents really do not want to go through the hassle and hearing crap from my current coaches. In my county, it’s not uncommon for students to transfer schools, including athletic reasons. These are both public schools with good education. However, those school have very different types of wrestling programs. It might seem silly for me to say and all, but it’s hard for me to explain. Nothing can explain how my current school made me feel this past year. I understand there is always a struggle, however I wouldn’t imagine it being that bad as to where I want to cry just thinking about it. I understand there will always be pros and cons to everything. But my parents kind of don’t understand some of my points. I see this transfer as an opportunity that will help me moreover. Sorry if I don’t make sense right now, ask more questions if needed. I really need help on this and will try to answer any other questions you have as soon as possible. My apologies if I wasn’t specific enough or didn’t give useful answers.
Well, if you aren’t at the school any longer, your parents wont be there to hear anything from the coaches!
Question for you about your eligibility to wrestle in your new school. In our state, there is a mandatory sitting out period when athletes switch schools. Is that something you would need to deal with?
Again, I think you are going to need to be more articulate with your reasons if you have any hope your parents will allow this. Why will the transfer help you? How exactly did your present school make you feel? Why do you think the new school will be different? (You don’t need to answer these questions publicly. Just giving you some prompts to think through for talking with your parents).
Thank you for helping me out. Sometimes I need to say my answers out loud for a better understanding. In my state, there is a 30 day period, but I’ve been told by those on the team that I would be training constantly. A coach from there is talking to my mother about it. I know my mother knows how I feel, but I feel like she doesn’t know how bad I truly feel about it. With this school, the girls get the attention, help, and resources they need to succeed for wrestling and other endeavors. I know I don’t need to answer these questions to you, but I don’t care because it’s anonymous and you’ve been very helpful. For example, the current school (chhs) I would have to deal with guys that’ll just “beat me up” or vise versa. This other school (whs), has more people willing to wrestle you and not “crush” you, and help you with moves that are relevant to your technique.
With the women’s wrestling growing, there are more and more colleges creating programs; and pretty positive about the scholarship part. Another thing is chhs is under 5 miles away from my home, and whs is under 8 miles away. Plus, there are people on whs team who love a little farther from me. I know my father’s biggest concern is the drive, however I have done drives to school farther than that before. And I’m at that age where I should be able to start learning how to drive.
Ate there really colleges giving girls wrestling scholarships these days? Possibly, but I’m not sure that is true.
If you are in a competitive state, you may not be able to wrestle this year because you might be considered as being recruited and it could be an unfair advantage for the school.
Our schools require that the students wait out 1 year, after transferring, to participate in sports.
Possible issues:
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Transportation: How do you get there? Bus?
What if you have to be picked up for an appointment? Your parents would have to drive an hour round trip -
Cost: is there any cost difference
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Academics: Sometimes when people transfer, all the AP/Honors classes are full and they put transfers into CP classes. You should meet with the GC to see what classes you could get into. Do they offer the same classes you have at your HS? Or more?
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Sports: Are you eligible to be put on the team? Will you for sure be competing? Are you going to continue with wresting after HS?
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Friends: You will have to make new friends
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College applications support: You will have a new Guidance Counselor that doesn’t know you
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Real or imagined fall out on your parents
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College wrestling - not sure the " could possibly get a scholarship to college" is valid…also you have to look at the schools that support college wrestiling http://www.nwcaonline.com/growing-wrestling/growing-womens-wrestling/wcwa/#wcwa-schools …honestly none of these would be schools that would help convince my parents that wrestling would be an advantage
So if I wanted to convince my parents, I would talk to the coach at the new place and ask them to send you the rules on eligibility after a transfer. No point in transferring in if you cannot play. Then I would address the other issues…show them that there are more academic opportunities, that you will make an appt to get to know the GC, that you will see your friends on the weekends. etc.
But if your parents have to drive you to school…(and it’s not 20-30 min…they may have to then turn around and drive back to work/home after that so for them it could be 60 min + their commute (or it could be less depending on direction)) or if they have to pay then it is just one more year and you will get your freedom in college.
Also realize that your parents are older and have more experience…right now this feels like the most importantest thing ever but they may have some perspective.
I’m from a system where there is only 1 high school in the district so everyone goes to the same one so i have questions
- Are you allowed to just go to any school in your district?
- Is there a cost?
- Do they have openings?
- Can you get there/back by pubic transportation or school bus? - I don't think you should expect your parents to do 2 one hour round trip commutes each day
5 Will the school be able to place you in needed academic classes -
no matter how much you love wrestling academics would take priority in my house
@CAnonymous: Surprisingly, I had a similar experience while a freshman in college (which was a long time ago).
The college coach would only let me practice/wrestle against one wrestler who happened to be the national champion at our weight class for fear that I would physically hurt the other wrestlers.( I was gifted at upper body throws.) I left wrestling due to this coach’s over protective nature of his, for lack of a better word, pets. All were excellent athletes who also played football.
My advice to you is to TRANSFER ! I always regretted attending an LAC Division III school when I should have gone to a large university Division I wrestling program.
A relative recently had a similar experience with his elite school Division I baseball team. Greatly diminished playing time to eventually no playing time after his freshman year due to politics when he had had tremendous success as a freshman playing varsity baseball (invited to play, and did play, in the most prestigious summer league & had received positive press nationally). I had recommended transferring after his sophomore year, but he stayed and lost a chance to get drafted because he wanted the degree from this prestigious private school. (A bit odd because he had strong interest from Harvard & Stanford when a senior in high school, but did not want to leave the South.)
My point is that one coach or a bad athletic environment can ruin an athlete’s career. Wrestling is the most intense sport that I have participated in, and wrestling requires a tremendous amount of dedication & discipline.
In short, TRANSFER, TRANSFER, TRANSFER !
OP: Decades later I still experience feelings of anger regarding my experience & my failure to transfer to a more suitable environment.
You are blessed to have such a great option nearby. Life goes quickly, don’t create regrets.
Thanks to whoever has given input. Surprising to some people, I have been looking at those colleges for a while. Even though they are not big name colleges, those are still school willing to give me money for a good education and to continue my athletics. I understand the rules with transferring, there is a 30 day period. Plus, I have a guardian that has a job with hours on his own terms. I’ve thought it out. I know there will be hurdles and concerns along the way; however, I just want to enjoy my senior year and be a part of a program that has a history of accomplishing goals many desire.