Need help deciding whether transferring is really the solution..

Transfer Students
1

<p>Alright, so I looked through this entire forum and I really haven't seen any topics with quite my problem, so I figured I'd post.</p>

<p>I'm a freshman at the University of Pittsburgh. When I initially visited, I loved the city and the campus and I knew I would enjoy being there. It has a great first impression. I am still slightly undecided on my major, so it never really crossed my mind to think about the majors, since there is a large selection.</p>

<p>I finished my first semester with a 3.25, just for reference.</p>

<p>This is my problem. I'm from outside Philly, a good 4 hours away by car. I know a lot of you will write this off as me looking for excuses, but I have been told all my life that I have a difficult personality, and I am hard to get along with and make friends with. I know that and acknowledge it. I usually fall into friendships rather than go looking for them.</p>

<p>I have no family out here, so it's just me. I have made "good" friends with two or three people, and that's pretty much it. Everyone else is just friendly acquaintances who I see every now and then. </p>

<p>I had a terrible first semester dorm experience, I hated my roommate. I have a new one now, and he's better (mainly with liveability issues as opposed to being friends with him), but nothing to write home about.</p>

<p>I never considered myself the person to leave for so far away from home, and I thought I would step out of my comfort zone and try something new. I gave myself all this time to adjust, and I found myself dreading coming back after winter break. </p>

<p>My main dilemma is this: I'm maybe 5% homesick, but 95% sick of my friends here. I feel like the few friends I have here don't care about me as a person, and I feel like I only hang out with them when it's convenient for them, and the rest of the time I'm left in my room feeling depressed.</p>

<p>Basically, I regret going this far away from home, and through this experience (which I think was a positive one because it showed me what I don't want) I've realized I am definitely more suited to being a commuter student. I've never been someone who wants to be part of the crowd, and I'm not the most outgoing person at all, so coming here was a big step for me. I've tried to get involved but really have not had much luck with any of the clubs I've attended or the activites I've gone to. None of them result in meeting good friends.</p>

<p>I feel lonely here and my work is suffering because of it and my living situation.</p>

<p>My second reason for wanting to transfer is I have been thinking for a while about a major in Geography, and my school does not offer this. The school I would want to transfer to does, and it has a very good geography track for majors.</p>

<p>My parents think I'm not giving it a chance, but try as I might, I can't convince them that I've given it more than a chance, and my gut and intuition is telling me this isn't for me.</p>

<p>So, my dilemma is this: Should I transfer and commute to the university about 30 min. from my home, where I know I would be able to pursue a degree in what I want and would be able to integrate myself as much as I like into the campus without being forced because of my distance from home, or should I stay and see if it gets better?</p>

2

<p>I think you should transfer.</p>

<p>Really, by what you tell me, you seem dissatisfied with your school academically, because it does not offer the geogrpahy major.</p>

<p>You said you dislike your current University. That shouldn't happen. (not to the extent you are describing it). I think you should apply to transfer, but if everything goes well, you can always decline the transfer and stay at Pittsburg, right?</p>

<p>You should definitely look at transfering, but keep your mind open, your first year is definitely different, because it really is a new life.</p>

<p>good luck, hope everything works well</p>

3

<p>You seem to have both academic and personal reasons for transferring. I would advise:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Apply for a transfer now, send it in and then forget about it.</p></li>
<li><p>This second semester get out of your dorm, join some EC groups (political, music, volunteer, whatever appeals to you), and try your hardest to get a better group of friends than you've found first semester. In other words, really give your current school a chance. </p></li>
<li><p>In the spring, if you've been accepted to transfer schools, reevaluate how you feel and make a decision.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>I think it's very important for you to try as hard as you can this first year to make your school work. Then, if it still really isn't a fit, you can transfer knowing that you did all you could but it just wasn't the right place for you.</p>

4

<p>I agree with what entomom has said. I would add that an experience described as
[quote]
I have made "good" friends with two or three people, and that's pretty much it. Everyone else is just friendly acquaintances who I see every now and then

[/quote]
is very, very normal. It characterizes most of us in how we relate to others. So, please don't feel that you are alone in this experience, especially after one term.</p>

<p>I realize that other aspects of your feelings point a little more strongly to your preferring a different location. I would just encourage you to give it time, to remain open to the experience becoming gradually more comfortable. </p>

<p>If you feel that you are quite likely to spend your life and career within commuting distance of where you now live, then maybe retreating to that location now is a fine thing. But if you think you might want to move around a bit over the years, I would suggest allowing yourself to experience the growing pains and give it more time to see how it will work for you.</p>

5

<p>I, too, think it is normal to have a couple of good friends and mostly aquaintances after one semester away at college. So, I don't think your decision should be based on this issue. </p>

<p>On the other hand, the lack of the major you want is a big consideration for this school not being the right place. So looking at schools that have your intented major makes sense. </p>

<p>As for living home versus living at college....this is a tough one. Living away does have benefits such as independence and is helpful for your future of managing on your own, however, it is not for everyone. If you are considering moving home due to fear of being on your own, then it may not be a good choice. If you are considering living at home due to moral or ethical considerations of what goes on at the campus, then that may have validity.</p>

<p>You may want to apply as a transfer to a variety of schools near and far who have your intended major and then see how you feel when your second semester is underway. You may have a different perspective at that point.
Good luck!</p>