Your son is a great student, but he is far from unique. I think you are assuming that there aren’t smart kids at the schools where he is likely to get merit aid. That just isn’t true. He can find his peers at all kinds of colleges, even the ones that give merit aid. And remember that a lot of very smart kids attend all kinds of colleges, and many of them have followed the money.
I hope this doesn’t sound mean-spirited, but your son, while exceptional in your eyes, is what many here would term average-excellent. As the parent of a new college grad (three post-grad job offers in hand) who was the template for the average-excellent student, it’s a great position to be in. It means he will probably do well in college and he has the tools to succeed in life.
The financial constraints of your budget are not going to dictate that he is doomed to attend a second rate school. Ultimately, it’s on him to take advantage of the opportunities offered at whatever school he attends.
You need merit aid. I suggest he check out Connecticut College, Trinity College, Clark University, maybe WPI or RIT? What are his academic interests? U Rochester has excellent academics and really smart students, but I’m not sure where they are with merit aid these days. And if he is willing to compromise on location (which he should do if getting merit aid is the goal) he will have a lot more choice.
There are many excellent schools in the Midwest and West that are overlooked simply due to geography. If he needs money, look at U Denver, Whitman, St. Olaf, Earlham, Gonzaga, Lewis and Clark, and many others.
Give us a better idea of:
-potential major
-vibe (intellectual, sporty, liberal, conservative, tree-hugger, etc…)
-size
-must haves (orchestra, anime club, types of campus food…)
-deal breakers (but remember, he has to be able to compromise because money is an issue. Geography is often the first thing out the window.)
And you are paying, so throw in your parents’ choice. I did that for both of mine, and for one of them, the college became a final contender, with a very nice merit award.