<p>To higgens 2013, I am new to this forum and don’t know how to find older posts that you suggested from missypie or cardinal fang. Can you let me know how to find these?</p>
<p>Hi. Would you kindly give us all an update?</p>
<p>MakeMom, despite our urging that he take a gap year, our S who is ADD (nonhyperactive) enrolled in a small LAC this fall and is already having serious academic problems. Of course the school will not tell us much, but we know he’s been referred for tutoring in two classes already, and in one of those the tutoring doesn’t seem to be helping. The instructors say he is bright and participates well in class but is terrible about keeping up with assignments and in particular with planning and writing longer papers. We are bracing ourselves for the possibility that he may not make it. Really wishing he had taken that gap year.</p>
<p>Have you considered pulling him out and starting that gap year right now? Start over, next fall?</p>
<p>Yes, we have considered it, but think the decision needs to be his. Right now he is continuing to say (unrealistically we think) that all is going to be OK. If the first semester grades are a disaster I think we are going to insist that he withdraw and we’ll take stock and see if he should either try again next fall or maybe try a different route such as community college. Just wishing he hadn’t gotten into this situation in the first place.</p>
<p>I have been reading this thread off and in with interest, and dread. My son is in his senior year of high school, diagnosed with PDD-NOS and inattentive ADD, and even with medication, his executive function skills are really bad this year. He is very bright, but has the worst time keeping up with assignments, papers, expectations. Sounds so much like MakeMom’s daughter and cmscribe’s son. </p>
<p>We are in the middle of our son applying to a small LAC, about five hours away from us. I am very frightened that his first year will be a mess if he gets in to this school. It’s a great school, but doesn’t have a “program” for learning disabled kids – it just has a disability office that will “help” but he has to go looking for help, it will not come looking for him. Some of you may already have experience with this type of issue. I have a friend with a learning disabled daughter who went away to school (an hour away) where they DID have a program for learning disabled children, and this daughter is now home and going to a local college. This is partially why I’m scared about my son’s future…</p>
<p>We are hoping that if we keep credit hours low (12 credits per semester) and allow five or six years for him to get through college, rather than four, that it may be a slow enough process to give him time to adjust. Am I kidding myself???</p>
<p>@schleppenheimer, wouldn’t it be nice to have a crystal ball? What about arranging for a coach to work with him (thru the Edge foundation or the school)?</p>
<p>Schleppenheimer: I’ve also been reading this thread with interest. My daughter goes to a small LAC, and while she wanted to be ‘like everyone else,’ (long story; has LD issues, but no documentation to show staff when she started college) she quickly learned that she needed more time on tests and lots of help in math, and she called home asking for help. I told her to advocate for herself and go to the college counselor, he gave her a name for testing off campus with a psychologist, and the results enabled her to get extended time on tests and in the end, even a substitution to one of the required classes due to her LD. She must always advocate for herself, and a relative sometimes coaches her on how to go about it, but the college has been wonderful in working with her even though there is no special ‘disability office or program’ at this small school. Thus, if you can visit that school 5 hours away (and my daughter’s schools is about 5 hours away, too!)… and talk to people prior to your son attending if he gets in/chooses it, the college counseling people can probably give you some good information and answer your questions. It’s true that once your son begins college, there will basically be no info sharing because of laws that protect the students. However, if you set up good communication channels ahead of time, visit like I already said, get accommodations in place during orientation the first week…it could end up being just fine. My daughter is surviving and doing well with some bumps along the way. Being scared is normal. I even introduced myself to the counseling people during orientation to tell them that sooner or later they would meet my kid. I knew it was going to happen. Yup, it happened. I can’t tell you not to be scared and not to forget about the examples you mention for other kids. However, if your son loves that college and gets accepted, and if the family decides for him to go there, go with documentation and goals to meet people and set up a plan and keep in touch with your son as much as possible to keep tabs on how he is feeling/ doing if he’s willing to share. Good luck! And sorry for being so wordy.</p>
<p>Haven’t been on in awhile, but I wanted to share good news: Our daughter ended up doing much better this past semester. I think the Adderall was helpful, but also she was given extra time for taking tests. This definitely was a good accommodation. She did have a few bumps, and forgot to arrange for the extra time (even with the accommodation, the student has to make sure it is arranged ahead) for her first test in one class, and she said students were “coming and going” in and out of the classroom, and I saw her test: She had not even attempted half of it. Thankfully, at her small liberal arts school, her professor realized from her class participation and other work, that her test was not a true indication of her ability, and she was able to retake it later in a quiet environment. (I think the quiet environment is as much helpful as the extra time, come to think of it.)</p>
<p>Daughter did go against our advice and took 15 credits instead of 12. And she struggled the most with the extra course, but in the end, it was her choice, and she did learn from the course. She learned a lot this semester, was much more involved in student activities (and stopped playing computer games: Yippee!) and earned MUCH better grades. 
She did crash once during the semester, but thankfully, Academic Services was aware of her needs, and a caring professor also called them to report that dd was not herself. So what could have been a huge crises was just a couple of days off (ran out of meds, even with all my pre-planning), and she was back on track. Academic Services did make DD go and speak to a professor herself, to make her needs known. </p>
<p>Dd went and spoke privately to each professor during office hours before/during first week of classes, showed them her accommodations letter, and also asked what she could do to do well in those classes, and wrote down what they said to do. That went a LONG way for getting professors to be aware and more helpful. </p>
<p>We are thrilled that our dd is making progress!</p>
<p>Oh, and she returned to her college as a full-time student, and she is living in the dorm in her own room by herself.
She also took initiative to get an on-campus job (washing dishes) and enjoys earning some money of her own.
Still trying to get her to carry a cell phone, and once she went off-campus without it, and ended up being rescued by other college classmates when she got stuck downtown after dark by misreading bus schedule. Whew!</p>
<p>And, now we have moved 8+ hours away from her college (something not in the original plan). But I feel it’s possible now to do this, since she is more settled in, and has supports in place. And we keep in touch as much as she allows. :)</p>
<p>lawrencemom: thanks for the advice, and your daughter’s story with her college experience. It gives me hope for my son. </p>
<p>A couple of weeks after I posted on this thread, my son developed a seizure disorder ON TOP OF being on the autism spectrum and having inattentive ADD. It was a real downer to have that happen – to him, and to us as his parents – and we were really feeling like this college experience would either have to be delayed, or might never happen at all.</p>
<p>It’s been two months since then, and he’s adjusted to his anti-seizure medication a bit. We see the neurologist tomorrow (it took TWO MONTHS!!!) and hopefully the meds will get adjusted, then we can work more on the ADD meds, and again, hopefully things will improve. In the middle of this, his grades dipped a lot – understandably so, because seizure medication makes you incredibly sleepy AND negatively affects cognition. In spite of all that, he currently has maintained a fairly good GPA, AND got into the college of his choice. He works his butt off – but like many of the kids mentioned on this thread, lets little assignments slip. He self-advocates, but not always. It’s going to be touch and go, but I have a little more hope than previously. </p>
<p>So glad to hear the good news about your daughter, MakeMom!!! It’s wonderful that she is doing so well now. Gives the rest of us hope!!!</p>
<p>Hang in there, schleppenheimer. At least having the seizure disorder occurring while still at home is positive in the sense that you are there for your child, you can get medical assistance close to home (and yeah, I hear you re: the two months waiting to see a specialist)… maybe this will all get taken care of in terms of the medication dosages/adjustments prior to college! One more hang in there. Having hope is good, and having hope means that even though it takes so much more work, in the end, sooner or later, your son will be going to college. To have gotten into the college of his choice is fantastic. As soon as you know more about whether he will be ‘ready’ for fall, set up a phone appointment with whomever is in charge of the disabilities services to start learning about what types of documentation are needed for accommodations. Woooooooooooooot on his admission! :)</p>
<p>P.S. I just reread your post, and you mention him going less than a full load each semester in college; if he gets financial aid of any sort, then documentation that shows he cannot/should take a full load may be required. I think there is a formula of how much p.t. = f.t. for students who are ‘differently abled.’ That was the case for another daughter of mine who is ADD. Again, with documentation it all works out. Making connections prior to orientation also helps.</p>
<p>Another update on my DD: This one is not quite so good. This spring semester has again been challenging for our dd, and she has had to drop a course now. I visited her and she feel much more stressed out again this semester. The one difference I can see is in the type of courses she is taking this semester, as compared to the fall semester, when she did well. For her, courses that are more open-ended are a nightmare. She excels in courses with specific goals, specific assignments, and extremely clear expectations. I think a lot of her stress is coming from courses that require open-ended, creative projects without specific outcomes. We are learning what works for her, but it is an expensive lesson.
At this point, we are all strongly considering her coming home for a type of gap year. She could take one course at a time from the local community college, get a part-time job, and take advantage of specific courses/workshop/therapies to help her with her challenging areas. She is not clear on a college major at this point, so between that and the amount of stress she is feeling, it seems unwise to continue paying LAC tuition at this time, until some of her deficits are brought up, and she has a clear idea of a major/career goal.
I’ve just looked at the Landmark College summer program, which sounds ideal for her, but it is unaffordable for us. I think we will be piecing together as much as we can for our dd.</p>
<p>Landmark does have financial aid for their short term programs. You don’t need the fafsa and the form was very simple when I completed for D a few years ago.</p>
<p>If you are interested, need based financial aid for the regular college program has been quite generous for us. Feel free to PM if you have any specific questions at all about Landmark.</p>
<p>MakeMom, I am sorry though not surprised to hear it is a roller coaster for your daughter. While at the end of the day we want to be empathetic, I think we also need to set clear guidelines and expectations with consequences. The consequences should be logical, not punitive, such as sending your D to local CC for a while til she has more solid footing and the maturity to go for her education. Its tough, I know. We go back and forth between being protective of our daughter and being angry with her.</p>
<p>Our DD has settled in to taking 4 courses per semester with the guidance of her ADD doc. Trying to figure out how to afford the two extra college years and if there is a way to get it adjusted to reflect her being disably abled?</p>
<p>@dowzerw, I wish there were a way to get a break! Let me know if you learn anything. DS is taking three classes a semester. It’s going to take a long time at this rate. I know I should be thankful that he’s managing school at all, but it’s still hard when I hear of all the kids his age who are graduating in May on time.</p>
<p>Ditto, ML. I am trying to find an angle for tuition reduction based on the disability and need for extended years to achieve what is normally done in four. It seems so many accommodations are made due to disability and LDs may not get the same attention but should. Of course, it would be opening a can of worms universities would probably really resist but…</p>
<p>And it is hard for me as well knowing all her classmates are graduating in the next month. We were just invited to the graduation of one from SAD51 who is at the Naval Academy. D and she did sleepovers when they were 3 mos. old!</p>
<p>Wow! I guess we just have to keep telling ourselves these kids are lucky to have us as parents! I think both our kids will be fine, but it sure takes a lot of work.</p>
<p>I’m trying to remember - were our kids in the same kindergarten class?</p>
<p>We had Judy Wilbur who became Mrs Bourgeois. Then T. Cameron Raymond? N. Cooper? and Im embarrassed to not remember the names of her 3rd, 4th or 5th grade teachers. By then I had too many kids and life was a blur!</p>