<p>I am looking for some advice from other parents that may have experienced a similar problem. My son's 1st semester grades were horrific. 3D's, 1F, 1C. He lost it after midterms. Not a partier. Has trouble focussing and managing the details, i.e., homework, projects, etc. Did relatively well in HS; I thought he just needed to work harder, but now I realize that he has some real limitations. His HS GPA was 3.5; 620 math SAT; 670 critical reading; 500 writing. He has problems organizing papers. Is majoring in engineering and is a very smart person. Has many interests in the engineering sciences and self teaches on many subjects. He comes across very smart, well spoken and very respectful, but has always struggled with organization and time management. I always thought it was a lack of discipline, but I am seeing that this is more complicated. He needs some success and I am sure his confidence lacks after this bad experience. He never let on that he was having difficulties and kept trying harder -- it had to be miserable for him. </p>
<p>He has not adjusted to make many new friends at school and told me that the harder he tried, the more he didn't socialize and his brain became cluttered with all of the work he needed to get done. Seemed like he was sinking in quick sand and didn't know what to do. He will not engage the professors for help or seek tutoring and we cannot understand why. </p>
<p>Needless to say, we are very concerned and I am at a loss to know what we should do. I am thinking we need to see an educational psychologist and execute plan b at a local community college. </p>
<p>Time is tight in between semesters and wondering what this young man is going to do during this next semester is a bit overwhelming. I don't see sending him back for a second semester would be advisable ---too many issues---way beyond a simple adjustment --needs a major shift.</p>
<p>Can anyone help shed some light, ideas, suggestions....</p>
<p>I would start off by contacting a counselor or advisor at the college. They may have some good advice for you, direct you to some resources, and give your son more options. I am sure your son is not the first or only freshman who has encountered first semester difficulties.</p>
<p>From your description it sounds like he MAY have ADHD inattentive type. There is good information on this site about ADHD inattentive and (of course) Google has information too. I would make an appointment ASAP with a psychologist. It may take a while to get the appointment, give the tests, evaluate the tests, get results and then get a physician appointment to talk about a course of treatment. You could ask his pediatrician for a referral.</p>
<p>His story is sadly typical for kids with ADHD inattentive. They spend most of their school years getting by with their natural intelligence and then they hit a tipping point where they fall apart. For my daughter it was an overload of AP classes her junior year.</p>
<p>Thankfully there are lots of things that will help your son and you don’t have to go the meds route if you are adverse to that. Good luck!</p>
<p>I will also add, do have your son contact the school advisor.
When my son had an abyssmal semester (1.1), the school gave him options of probation with lighter courseload for the following semester.
That option allowed us to let him return, with other support.
We did not want to be the ones to force him to leave thus straining further our (at that time) tenuous relationship.</p>
<p>While it may or may not be ADHD, he will have to develop some compensatory strategies to compensate for his lack of organization. Each of us, regardless of shortcomings, diagnosed or undiagnosed, must develop strategies that personally work for us to succeed. His high school grades were good; His SAT scores were good; It therefore appears that he has learned and been successful, and unfortunately is struggling in college. I am not one to believe that natural intelligence alone has allowed him success in high school, although it is obviously a contributing factor. He still had to master a certain level of math and english to perform on tests, which only comes with learning. The SAT test does not measure intelligence, but measures ability. There is a difference. Further, there are many kids that do poorly on the SAT, and are successful in college, and others that fall in the opposite category. So, while you may or may not want to jump on the diagnosis train (and I am certain if we each look hard enough, we could certainly find something wrong with each of us as it pertains to our learning or social interaction), you can help in finding compensatory strategies that will help bring him success in college, and perhaps that will include professional guidance, if you deem it necessary to get to get to a comfortable level in successfully dealing with his particular weaknesses. I do think the other poster had some good suggestions in indicating that pulling from his college may not be the best option, unless the college he is attending is the problem / and although he is only a freshman, required freshman courses pertaining to engineering may simply be beyond his ability to achieve higher scores, especially if he is opposed to tutoring. There are other majors that may catch his interest, but that does not necessarily mean he needs to switch, but he must be open to seeking extra help in his classes.</p>
<p>It is also possible an adjustment problem. College is differernt from HS and once the bird is out of the cage, the professor at the college will not followup and pay much attention to what the kid is doing, he is free. Its up to the kid to followup and keepup with the acadamics. Time management and work ethics are the skills your kid may not have, he has to catch up very fast. There are many weed out classes in the first two semesters of the college and if you are not skilled, you will fail. As all the other mentioned, see a college counselor and tell him to attend the professor’s office hours, the professor will reveal his expectations and how to tackle the classwork that he won’t do in the class.</p>
<p>Based on all of this, I need to do a deep dive to see what is going on. In retrospect this is not all that surprising based on his history and not having his parents intervene since he is living away.</p>
<p>I agree with college advisor contact to see what is available at his college to help and their suggestions. Remember, they do not want students to leave and not finish their first year. It messes up their retention rates too, so they are motivated to work with you. He may have executive functioning issues, add, or a host of other things. But there are usually resources within the college. Also, consider a private coach to stay on him and help him at school, and I found a website I am considering for my son a few months back that you may want to look at:
[Skoach</a> - Homepage](<a href=“http://skoach.com/]Skoach”>http://skoach.com/)</p>
<p>Good Luck to you. I have an ADD child, and I am nervous as heck about his freshman year!</p>
<p>I would definitely pursue the ADHD angle. My son has always been high-performing so we didn’t think ADHD was a possibility. Apparently someone with a very high IQ can function reasonably well through HS and then hit a wall later on down the road (like college, medical school, grad school, work). This is because their high intelligence allows them to compensate for the inability to focus. We were shocked when son was diagnosed with ADHD between freshman and sophomore year of college. He asked to be tested. We also found out he has a major sleep disorder - that in itself makes him appear unmotivated and unfocused (sleep deprivation makes it hard to concentrate). Does your son complain about other things like being tired all the time? I would investigate as many angles as possible until you figure it out. It’s easy to say someone is unmotivated but that’s not always the case.</p>
<p>I would have him take a leave of absence, get a diagnosis and a plan set up, work on the issues and then start again in the fall. I would encourage signing up for a community college class or two to work on the study habits issue. </p>
<p>The time management and organization demands in college are completely different than in high school, not only in the nature of the homework but in the schedule of the day. Added to the adjustment issues that naturally go along with college…</p>
<p>Just sending him back with a reduced courseload is not going to help unless he has a good understanding of his issues and a solid support system in place. He may not be able to take a reduced courseload if he doesn’t have a diagnosis anyway.</p>
<p>I would also get him counseling so that he can feel comfortable asking for help and learning how to advocate and engage in this area.</p>
<p>On the not asking for help thing: seems to be common with freshman male engineering students. Our son was like that his first semester - he had problems with physics and I kept suggesting that he go to the tutoring center (professors were too busy in general). He went after several weeks of me bugging him and found it very helpful - and later became a tutor himself.</p>
<p>In high school, the work may be easy enough so that students can do it all on their own or the teacher may provide more information and detail so that problems aren’t as vague.</p>
<p>Engineering programs are usually packed tightly so taking a lighter courseload (which is probably indicated) may not work well without summer courses and maybe an extra semester.</p>
<p>The statistics on engineering students that complete their degrees in engineering aren’t good. The common saying is that about 1/3rd of students that start, actually complete the degree.</p>
<p>Thank you for the insights. I am mobile and can’t type long responses. I will be able to followup later when my travel is complete in the am. Thank you, thank you for the support. This has been helpful.</p>
<p>Well put. I often wonder if we jump on that diagnosis train too quickly before we try some compensatory strategies.</p>
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<p>Another excellent point. We’ve been hearing that chronic sleep deprivation often presents as ADD. ANd let’s face it, college students often have very messed up sleep habits.</p>
<p>Finally, engineering is just hard. No matter how good a student was in high school, I can’t imagine not being thrown for a loop by the rigor of the first year engineer curriculum. </p>
<p>I agree with everyone who’s said contact the college’s academic success center (or learning center) and see what’s available. They can help with those strategies he needs to get oraganized. He could go in a few times a week and do a schedule check for his study time, set up some tutoring, maybe not because the courses are so difficult but because it’ll create little deadlines for him to meet/force him to touch that homework before class. They really are there to help and don’t want to lose a student with the kind of stats he came in with.</p>
<p>My brother had the exact same start at college…lots of aptitude and had done reasonably well in high school when there had been more structure. Academic advising wasn’t terribly analytical back then and with his areas of strength engineering seemed to be the obvious road. He ended his first semester on the cusp of being asked to leave. He had struggled with the work and just didn’t know how to budget his time. This was before the era of even thinking about learning disabilities. As far as I know he has none. </p>
<p>After a couple of meetings with the Dean my brother was allowed to leave the engineering school and switch to a straight math major rather than being sent home. He was given one semester to prove himself and did well once he was out of engineering. When actually questioned about what he liked about his coursework my brother came to realize that while on paper it looked as if he should be majoring in engineering, it wasn’t for him. I have a feeling that though DB came out of an excellent public school, this Dean was the first person to really talk to him about his skill set and help him figure out his best academic road.</p>
<p>There is a reason MIT does not give students grades their first semester! Freshman year is one of the toughest years for students. Statistics show that up to 1/3 of college freshman drop out of college by the end of their 1st year. They have to learn to juggle so many new things in their lives - making new friends, huge classes with little-to-no interaction with professors, time lines and deadlines with no one to remind them to get the work done early in case something else comes up at the last moment (which usually does), learning to do laundry, finding food, and coursework that is often very difficult. Heck even learning to get up on their own can be a struggle. </p>
<p>My DD just finished her first semester of college and struggled mightily. Fortunately, she squeaked through on her grades, but is going to have to really step it up next semester if she wants to stay at her present university. We’ve talked, and she feels that time management and study skills both need to be learned. High school courses were easy for her, but her college courses kicked her tail. It was easy to put off doing projects when they weren’t due for weeks. She played online games and watched too much television. The freedom she encountered at college was overwhelming. I think she understands that she has to learn to use self-control in enjoying her freedom.</p>
<p>Try to get your son to seek counseling (at the school’s counseling center - not the academic counselor). College counselors are trained in how to deal with students new to college. They also know how to deal with students use to making A’s who are now making C’s and lower. Go to your son’s college counseling center website and check out their statistics. You will probably find that they take on hundreds of new students each week - students who are struggling with grades, stress, and life. Frankly, sometimes all a student needs is someone to whom they can vent. College counselors can also offer all sorts of strategies and resources for success. </p>
<p>Talk to your son about what he wants to do next semester. Ask him if he thinks he would be comfortable talking to a school counselor (again, not the academic counselor) to see if the counselor can suggest strategies/resources for success. Sounds like your son is a normal teenager struggling through his first year at college.</p>
<p>There are a number of colleges that do not give a grade first semester, Hopkins being another one. And yes, it is for a reason. Colmomto2 brings up a good point, what does your son think about next semester, and what does he want to do? Has he come up with any plans?</p>
<p>Sorry but I disagree with the above poster. This isn’t a normal adjustment to college issue. I commend the OP for considering the leave of absence and what is right for this student. Many parents post with students who failed their first semester and their whole concern is how to keep their kid at that school.<br>
Males this age are highly susceptible to mental health issues. I would not want to encourage my kid to continue to struggle. I may be over reacting but something in the OP about the more his brain became cluttered set off a warning bell for me.</p>
<p>ebeeeee - I can see your point of view. Certainly, if OP feels son is close to the edge, then intervention is a must.</p>
<p>My only concern is that the OP talked about his/her plan b. What does the son want to do? My DD and I talked about her leaving her current school and attending a local college. She got very upset when I suggested that option. She was mortified to leave her current school “because everyone will think I’m stupid.” She’s not stupid, but that is how she feels others will perceive her. So we moved on to the next option.</p>
<p>Also, college counselors see hundreds (if not thousands) of students who are struggling with their first year of college. I sincerely doubt OP’s son’s story will be new to them. They have all sorts of strategies and resources for success - if only the student will allow them to help.</p>
<p>Ultimately, it’s up to the student. I fear that if the OP pulls son without son’s permission, much psychological/relationship damage may be done. Better to work together toward a solution.</p>