IB is a great program, I was just wondering, if APs were offered anywhere, whether that might alleviate some stress, but the point is moot since no school offers APs. 
I hope you and your husband can watch Frank Bruni’s talk.
Salary information can be a little deceptive. Yes, engineering/STEM starting salaries are higher on average. Often though mid-career or terminal salaries are higher for other functional areas like finance or business. I think it’s fine for a student to enter college undecided and then choose a major. Fifty percent or so of college students change their major, better to go in undecided and pick later than pick wrong and be forced to take additional courses or even reapply. It’s okay to suggest a high school freshman focus in or to reinforce their interests but to insist may do harm