Need help sorting out a ridiculously messy situation

College Majors Engineering Majors
1

<p>I'm sitting here winter quarter in my second year at the University of Cincinnati and I don't know if things can get much worse for me. </p>

<p>May parents essentially mandated I start out in Electrical Engineering if I wanted to go to UC and not a community college. I was compliant as I was good at Math and decent at science. I also came from a household where my parents like to control every aspects of my life. An example would be I wasn't allowed to ever get a job, I had to wait till I got to college and just get one at the library and my parents have been pressuring me to quit ever since. They like me being completely financially dependent on them. </p>

<p>Accumulative GPA at the end of every quarter...</p>

<p>First Quarter GPA: 2.5 (A's in my bs Engineering Class and Lab, C in Calc and Chem)
Second Quarter GPA: 2.2 (Calc II C, Physics C, Chem II C, B in chem lab F in calc lab)
Third Quarter GPA: 2.0 (D in Physics II, F in Calc III, Passed my labs)
Fourth Quarter GPA: 1.75 (dropped physics, failed Calc III again)</p>

<p>At this point I've communicated to my parents every quarter that I'm not sure if engineering is for me at the end of every quarter. My GPA is suffering and I'm busting my ass and barely passing anything. My parents think I've been lying and slacking off. They decide I'm going to be retaking Calc III and Physics II over the summer and they are gonna work with me like an infant. </p>

<p>I study with my dad for 2-3 hours everyday and we prepare for my first physics exam. With his help (he has an engineering degree) I manage to get a 38% on my exam. Ridiculous, if mommy and daddy are holding my hand and I'm study with an engineer weeks in advance and can't even hit a passing mark I'm not gonna be able to do this. My parents said I had to "figure it out" or I was going to be going to Sinclair Community College.</p>

<p>I end up breaking down halfway through the summer and tell them I've had enough, I can't do this anymore. I got to speak with the Dean and find out I'm going to be kicked out of engineering, but he can put me on "special student status" for a year. This means I can stay at UC regardless of my GPA and take any classes in any program as long as I have the proper prereqs. I must agree to withdraw from engineering, but he suggests Engineering Technology as something I could switch to and have success. My parents are all for the idea.</p>

<p>Because of when classes are offered I really couldn't take any Elec. Eng. Tech. courses until winter quarter. I got my GPA up to a 2.1 after that quarter. </p>

<p>It's winter quarter and we're starting the 4th week. This is all the same stuff but more hands on and less calculus based. </p>

<p>I'm only taking 14 credit hours this quarter and need to stay at 12 to be a full time student so I can't really drop classes because I believes it screws up my loans. I have no idea what I want to switch to but I need to figure out soon. This quarter feels like I lost cause I haven't done any of the homework and am just sick of being in a major I hate!</p>

<p>I'm considering taking out my own loans and switching to what I want to do regardless if my parents are going to pay/support me or not. I don't know how to decide though. I've wasted 1.5 years essentially and need to get on track with what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life. </p>

<p>I need advice on:
Smart to go financially independent from parents if they won't support what I want to do?
What can I do about this quarter? I'm going to fail every class, I'm spent. I can't do this stuff anymore and it's too late to drop classes without penalty or getting money back.
Advice on figuring out what I want to do?
General advice for my situation.</p>

<p>This has been the hardest 1.5 years of my life. :(</p>

2

<p>You might consider getting an associates degree in some kind of engineering technology (ET). It won’t take you long, it’s a lot easier than engineering, and it is a degree that can get you a job (it won’t take you as far as engineering, but it means working with technology and getting paid for it).</p>

<p>If it would make your parents happy, and it’s something you can do, and it will get you employed in less than two years, maybe it’s what you need right now. You don’t have to map out the entire rest of your life right now. I prayed for you and I think things will improve.</p>

<p>FWIW, I flunked out of college my first try due to immaturity and lack of effort. Now I’m a 4.0 GPA student.</p>

3

<p>It might be a good idea to speak to your parents and to explain to them how you feel and what you want to do in college. I’m sure your parents will support you after the 3 of you reach a balanced compromise. Then, request their help to solve your current academic situation in the most favorable way possible. </p>

<p>Your parents are the people in the best position to assist you and I doubt very strongly they’ll cease to assist you once you start pursuing your goals.</p>

4

<p>I want to continue my education at UC as I love this place, but my GPA is terrible.</p>

<p>I think I may just have to dig in and do my best to pass the classes I’m currently in and then start taking the classes for the career path/college major that I want to pursue.</p>

<p>My parents are saying they aren’t going to pay unless I’m doing engineering, and that if I’m going to switch to something else I need to figure out all the logistics and bring my “plan” to them. They’re gonna hear me out and could support anywhere from 0-100% of it. </p>

<p>My parents are paying for 2 kids to go to UC now, a third next year, and I have an 11 year old brother they’re going to have to pay college for someday. They say they’ve already taken 30,000 out in loans that are in my name. </p>

<p>If I have to pay my way it’s going to be tough, I’ve been financially dependent on my parents my entire life. It’s been by their design of course so I can “focus on school” aka they want supreme control over me.</p>

5

<p>You said you were good in math and decent in science but your grades so far do not show any indication of that. You seem to be very resentful of what you believe are your parents’ efforts to control every aspect of your life. You also mention that you have not done any of your homework in weeks. Is it possible that you are sub-consciously sabotaging yourself as a way of punishing your parents? As a parent of one son in college and another in his senior year of high school I am sure that your parents are really suffering over your situation so you are succeeding in punishing them but in a way that is terribly self-destructive to you.</p>

<p>You resent the fact that your parents do not want you to work but if my sons were getting grades as low as yours I would be strongly opposed to them working and not because I want to keep them financially dependent but because they would have to make academics their only priority. Parents do not want to keep their children financially dependent, I long for the day they will be financially independent and I will no longer have to support them but that is not realistic while they are still in school.</p>

<p>Your parents probably want you to major in engineering because they see that as the major that provides the best career prospects for you. It could be that engineering is not a good fit for you and while your parents will be disappointed if you major in something else they will probably agree to it if it is something you can succeed in and they think you can earn a living doing. For example, my son now in college wanted to major in Astronomy which I had grave doubts about him ever getting a job in so we discussed it and decided Geology was a major that he could indulge his passion for natural sciences in and still have good employment prospects when he graduates.</p>

<p>You need to start doing your homework now, salvage this quarter as best you can and have a discussion with your parents about what you can study that interests you and allays their concerns about your future.</p>

6

<p>Hang in there Vegeta. Not everyone is cut out for engineering. Many people end up switching majors after starting out in engineering. You will eventually find something that you can succeed at and that you enjoy. You shouldn’t feel forced into engineering and if you are struggling with preliminary math classes and physics classes, that is probably not a good sign. The classes do not get any easier and and almost all of them build on calculus, physics, and differential equations principles so it is important to have a decent grasp on the fundamentals.</p>

7

<p>Lemaitre1 - I could see how that post could come off that way, perhaps I should word it better. I am resentful as my parents made me “stick with it” and my grades only got worse and worse. I tried hard and my GPA was suffering and I probably should have switched to something else after the 1st quarter. It’s been really tough for me because I was a pretty good student in school, I used to come home fearing for my life if I got anything below a “B-” and now I’m celebrating “C’s” like they’re a victory. I was really good at elementary and high school math always scoring in 95+ percentile on all the aptitude tests we always took back in highschool. I’m just spent and angry my parents have tried to essentially force a square peg (myself) into a round hole (engineering). I had a 3.3 GPA in highschool while committed to football year round and I took nearly a dozen honors/AP classes. It didn’t make sense to though as I struggled to get C’s and B’s in those classes when kids are taking them to get A’s and H’s. Kids at my school took simply joke classes and had 3.5’s and got into Ohio State while I took a arduous academic schedule and got average grades in those classes. My parents said “I’d learn more” and schools don’t care about GPA’s and focus more on what you take, but I’d later learn it’s actually the complete opposite, and now they’ve put me in a tight spot AGAIN. Yeah sticking with engineering and just trying to “figure it out” really was a great idea now sitting at a 2.1 and on academic probation :(</p>

<p>ME 76- I do like Calculus, but I don’t believe I had very good Calc 1 and 2 professors so by the time I got to Calc 3 it caught up to me. </p>

<p>I have no idea what I’m even interested in as a major. I know I want to be passionate about it to some extent. I know I want a good opportunity to get a job coming out of college and make a decent living. I took a lot of online tests and they said I’d be good in things like Engineering, Accounting, Economics, Law, etc. </p>

<p>Keep it coming guys, thanks for the help!</p>

8

<p>I think you need to further talk to your parents. Believe it or not, I have come across many parents who try to force their kids to take something (usually engineering) that is not the best fit. I think it is OK for a parent to “steer” them to a certain major but if the student cannot do it/does not have a passion, then it is time to allow the student to find what is best for them.</p>

9

<p>I’m from the dayton area and very familiar with sinclair and Uofcinci. My brother actually started off at Cincinnati on a full ride rotc scholarship, but when his asthma got in the way of rotc, he lost the scholarship. He ended up going to sinclair for 2 years, before transferring to wright state. (he was studying industrial engineering throughout all of this). He liked Cincinnati, but its a very expensive school. If you were to go financially independent from your parents, you would not have an easy time ever paying back the loans you’ll have. My brother actually enjoyed his classes at sinclair. they were flexible, the teachers were good, and there were also a lot of elective opportunities for things he was interested in (such as automotive electives). Sinclair is a cheap, and good place to get your first few years of college done.He finished all of his calc classes at sinclair, and said that the teachers were helpful. after finishing all of his early level class for his major he transferred out to wright state to finish his major. sinclair gets a bad rep. since its a community college but its not a bad place at all. If you plan on going independent of your parents money i would recommend it.</p>

10

<p>For starters, let me just say that this is <em>your</em> life you’re talking about, not your parents’. Believe me when I say this, you will never be truly happy unless you’re pursuing what you enjoy. My parents still resent the idea of me going into engineering, but I told them they will have to live with it because it’s <em>my</em> choice.<br>
This was easier for me mainly because I have grants and scholarships that pay for most of my expenses, and I got a job for what they don’t. You may be more tired every day, and you may not like the idea of not being able to buy things you want, but at the end of every day, you will feel that hint of independence and happiness knowing that what you’re doing and the sacrifices you’re making will ultimately result in you doing what you love instead of what your parents force you to.</p>

11

<p>A few thoughts:

Do this! This is an opening your parents are giving you, however skeptically, to do exactly as you are hoping. Make a good plan. Figure out the logistics and figure out how your plan can end up in a good career (probably your parents key worry). </p>

<p>If you don’t know what you want to major in, that makes it tougher. It would be so much better if your parents would support your need to explore various courses/fields without needing an advance plan. But that is not the parents you were gifted with… so take the time to research/talk to advisors/think it through and pick a plan of action that can gain your parents’ support. If you decide to make a career change or adjustment later on (after college graduation), you can do it then… you won’t need to worry about your parents supporting you.</p>

<p>Do the homework! Of course, your grades will be poor if you don’t do the work. Not loving the coursework is not a valid excuse. We have to do things we don’t like, take courses we don’t like (even if we are in the “right” major). Do the work.</p>

<p>Make it a priority to speak with advisors/counselors until this is all worked through. I often think advice to see a counselor is gratuitous, off the mark and probably ignored here on cc :). But I think it could be very valuable to you… you may be a bit situationally depressed and a mental health counselor can help with that (undoubtedly available right on your campus). Such a counselor and/or academic or career advisor can also help you sort through your academic options and make a plan. They can also help you come up with ways to communicate with your parents and ways to persuade them.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

12

<p>I lived in Cincinnati for 5 years, and also loved the area, even though the school is in a bad part town.</p>

<p>Personally, I would drop out. You aren’t doing what you want and I believe that is the contributing factor to your poor grades, not your inability to get better grades. I think if you left UC and engineering behind, went into a CC to “feel out” other majors until you found the one you liked, and then transfered to a school that was strong in that major you will a) get better grades, b) enjoy life more, and c) see greater success in life and with your family.</p>

<p>Work with your parents, be open and honest with your plans:

  1. Your parents are loving in supporting; evident by their desire to help you study
  2. Your parents are financially wise; hence their concern with taking out the loans
  3. You parents put to much emphasis on engineering, why? However, in doing so I see they only want success for you.</p>

<p>As an engineer, I see wisdom in not throwing good money after bad, and I think your parents will too. Your plan should be a 2 year plan, to attend a CC to get your general education out of the way and maybe even with the intention of getting back to engineering if that is where your heart leads you. However, while the CC you should look at other options; take courses, conduct interviews, get interns, etc. IMO, it will be a horrible life to do something you don’t like, aren’t good at, and regret doing. If your parents are as supportive as I think then they will understand this, and coupled with the idea that you are showing fiscal responsibility will support your decision.</p>

13

<p>I second the recommendation above to develop a plan and go back to your parents with it. This plan could include going to community college to figure out what you want to major in or to get an associates degree first. If they don’t go for your plan, you have the option of trying to do it on your own at an inexpensive community college. Or you could take a break from college and work for a while until you figure things out. Parents (and I am one as you can tell from my screen name) need to understand how destructive it can be to their child to say “I’m only going to pay for college if you study X subject”. My son is a senior in high school and has applied to colleges to study engineering–he’s good at math and science and took an into to engineering course his junior year and liked it. My wife and I have encouraged him to try engineering in college, but if he really doesn’t like it, we won’t force him to continue with it and will encourage him to find another major.</p>

<p>Way back 30+ years ago when I was a sophomore in college, a friend of mine who was a junior at the time dropped out because his parents said they would only pay for college if he was pre-med. He took pre-med courses, hated them, his parents insisted, and he essentially called their bluff by dropping out. He lived on my couch for a semester, got a job managing a local rock band, got an apartment, and worked for four years. The he went back to school (at another school), got a B.S. in accounting, took the CPA exam, passed it and worked for one of the (then) Big 8 accounting firms, got his MBA on the firm’s dime, and eventually ended up starting his own comapany with another friend from college, which, when he sells it, will make him a millionaire several times over in all liklihood. So things do have a way of working out, one way or another.</p>