<p>Basically, here's the gist of my new issue....</p>
<p>I'm a senior this year and it hit me that I missed out on a lot of social life like since 6th grade but more primarily 9th grade. I mean I hung out with like one or two friends but mostly with people that are my race (I'm from India). This year I want to be more outgoing, and I like this one girl and I want get to know her better and become better friends, but she's really outgoing and hangs out with a lot of people (she's also going to Duke on a full ride to play volleyball and decent academics). But my goal at the beginning of the year was to be more outgoing too. My problem now is that I'm getting tight with all these football players, but most of them that know me from middle school think I'm just a study person / nerd...I think the problem with most smart people is that they aren't very outgoing so I guess I'm trying to hang out more and stuff and trying to be more outgoing.....and break out of my comfort zone/shell. Any advice regarding this? I want to actually go to prom this year and take a date with me and stuff...</p>
<p>I talked to my mom about this and she said she doesn't think I missed out on much since not many people at my school have academic stats, etc. close to me and it was all that work that might help get me into Stanford...but I feel like I've wasted the last couple years? Dunno...</p>
<p>enderkin, that's why I'm going to the varsity girls volleyball games now and meeting a lot of new people and stuff and I love it! Actually I used to be VERY outgoing when I was young, then I got really shy through middle school and high school, then now I'm cracking out of my shell again.</p>
<p>And to Chamilitary, yes I know I'm DEFINITELY not making the same mistake in college. For one, I'm gonna play football (intermural), make a lot of friends through that, and still keep up my grades but be more outgoing.</p>
<p>I'm sort of the opposite, I used to always go out and party and stuff. I was/ and still am pretty popular but for some reason I no longer feel like doing anything. I'm not sure if I'm burnt out or what, I just know I need to have a little bit of both in my life.</p>
<p>I'm also looking forward to playing intramural football in college. Never heard of any tackle football or rugby at the club level though. But you can always play a pickup game.(frankly, catching, throwing and running is fun but I like to hit people/get hit).</p>
<p>I've kind got a similar problem. A lot of people know me by name, but I'm not really close to them and don't see many outside of school. My folks would likely not let me go to a party so that is part of the reason. They don't hardly understand what hang out means.</p>
<p>elaznguy, yea a lot of people know me by name as well...but my parents will let me go to parties, I just gotta find parties that's the issue! lol Yeah I want to play tackle football in college, I'm thinking about just walking into the D1 team lol</p>
<p>In that case, I'd get to know some people better, and if they want to know you better ask em what they are doing on the weekend. Go on from there. ;)</p>
<p>Dunno about you but I doubt I could get in to real football in college. I found out through a friend that I liked football maybe only half a year ago.(before that, I couldn't even catch a football if you were chuck it right at me). During pickup games I usually play safety/runningback as I am pretty fast. Haven't mastered the fine points of catching them overhead passes though.</p>
<p>just remember this - everyone remembers their most embarrassing moments for years, but nobody remembers other people's embarrassing moments for more than a few months. 90% of your classmates you won't see for the rest of your life, once you graduate - so who cares if you embarrass yourself in front of them? if they're your friends, they'll still be your friends... if they're not, they'll just forget about it in a week.</p>
<p>Your mom sounds like a bastard. Academic ability isn't the only measure of a man, after all.</p>
<p>Sad truth: it's really hard to get in with a new group of friends at this point because everyone has already found friends and doesn't need new ones. Plus they probably have some sort of stereotyped image of you, and hence may have passed over you as someone not worth getting to know...</p>
<p>Go be outgoing in college. It'll be much easier then.</p>
<p>Eh, I had (sorta) the same problem you do. I went to a new school district freshman year where nobody knew me. I instantly became the geek and with only like 1 or 2 friends. Finally I talked to this really outgoing girl and I started to like her. We dated for like one NANOsecond before we decided haha no way. But anyways being with her broke me out of my shell. I realized that I shouldn't really care about what others think about me and that if I put myself out there then those who like me will befriend me and those who don't aren't worth my time. Hope that helps. :] </p>
<p>Oh and PS that was over two years ago and we're still great friends. So dating somebody and it not working out doesn't mean you can't be friends after.</p>
<p>Do whatever the hell you like, man. Life is too short to follow some other person word for word. You are responsible for what you do, not your mom.</p>
<p>It really doesn't matter at all, you'll probably never see these "cool" people again in your life, and they all think you're a bit of a nerd already. It'd be way too much work to try and alter the social time-space continuum -- just be more outgoing in university right off the bat.</p>
<p>I had that same problem in middle school. I was quiet, shy, and a bookworm. I pretty much had a huge NERD label on my forehead.</p>
<p>I broke out in high school. I go to a public magnet, and everyone here is really into academics, nice, etc. I have no doubts you'll find something like that in college. If you really want to, like I did, people will approach you, and you will make MANY friends. My mom said the same thing as yours actually, and I never really believed her until I was accepted at my high school. I met soo many people who were similar to me. So many other bookworms who were just waiting to break out of their shells. xD</p>
<p>I understand about wanting to make more friends now that it's your senior year and everything, and you still can. Just do what everyone else in this thread said, be friendly, wave to people in the hallways. Stop and say hello. Think "I'm never going to see these people again unless I want to. I shouldn't be embarrassed." Be yourself. =]</p>
<p>i felt the exact same way as you last year. i felt like all i did was school work and i was a lame square bear, and i had no experience outside of school. so i branched out, began socializing, and now i have a good social life. and im really glad i did. i would rather have good friends and lots of life experience and go to a pretty decent school rather than be a hermit and get into a top school. but you can still go to a top school and make up for what you missed.</p>
<p>anyway, try going to parties and hanging out with lots of new people. you dont have to drink or anything just hang out with people. and talk to this girl anyway. dont be intimidated, and project confidence. girls can surprise you. im one of the ones out there who have a thing for indian dudes. maybe this chick does too (or she is indian, super!)</p>
<p>anyway. dont overanalyze. i was disgustingly shy and awkward for so long, but eventually i just started saying what was on my mind and people started listening. you get better at it.</p>