<p>Hello,</p>
<p>I would really appreciate some advice on my current situation. TLDR: Basically, I am attending a great private university and I love the experience. My classes are excellent and I have a sweet housing assignment on campus. The only problem is, I don't have any friends.</p>
<p>The campus itself only has about 4,000 students, so it is pretty common to run into people. This means that most of my classes have 10-12 students in it, so you would think it is easy to make friends. This is not the case though; most of the students show up, sit through the class, and then leave. Whenever we do pair or group work, I always try to be very friendly and talk about common interests to try and get something started. I have also approached a few of them just to say hi at the end of class, but most are pretty standoffish for some reason.</p>
<p>I am also in 4 clubs currently, one for film culture, another for social justice, one for music appreciation, and finally I'm in the French club. I did not join these just to make friends, they are my personal interests, so I definitely enjoy them. However, the same situation happens with classes - people show up, sit through the meeting and then leave, it's so odd. </p>
<p>I sometimes go to events on campus such as an open mic, or a student directed play, but aside from enjoying the show, there isn't a load of room for social interaction. I also go to the gym 6 days a week and eat at the dining hall 2-3 times a day (I usually end up sitting alone though). I am not an anti-social person nor am I fat or ugly. I also put on a decent amount of confidence when I'm around people. Still, I don't really know what else to do as I am pretty miserable. Anyone have any suggestions?</p>
<p>Thanks for any response,
Oscar</p>
<p>You’re doing all the right things so maybe just give it some time. You should talk to your roommate and see what he’s up to and maybe propose some plans? Or maybe go to tutors and stuff where you will consistently see the same people. It seems like you’re not doing anything wrong so maybe it’s just the others…?</p>
<p>Who are you at best relations with on your floor? Ask him/her if they know of any good parties going on that night (ask during a ‘party night’) and if you can go along with their group. Takes some courage although you strike me as an outgoing guy so never mind, it shouldn’t require much courage :P</p>
<p>Hmm…I think you maybe just need to make a couple of really solid connections. Do you have a roommate? If so, what’s your relationship like with your roommate? Maybe you should try to get closer to your roommate, and then maybe you’ll meet your roommate’s friends. You should do the same with some of the people who live on the same floor as you, or you should do the same with some of the people you see in the clubs you belong to.</p>
<p>I think all you really need is a couple of solid connections with people. If you make a couple of good friends, you’ll meet their friends, get into their parties (if you’re into that), and so forth.</p>
<p>It seems like you’re very capable of doing this, so…good luck!</p>
<p>I have the same problem at my Liberal Arts Univ, with about the same number of kids. I just transfered to the aforementioned one from another that only had 1800 kids, but the social environment is about the same even though the actual people are SO differet. Stand-offish, insecure, shy, pretentious, or fake pretentiousness in order to fit in. I’ve come to the conclusion that I should’ve gone to a much much bigger school. At least 10,000 kids, but probably state college level size (30,000+). You just don’t get the open, diverse, dynamic, easy going, and fun for everyone college experience at a small private school. Biggest mistake of my life so far since I’m going to be a Junior next year, and transfer deadlines have passed. I’m actually thinking about taking a year off, exploring life, working, etc., and then heavily researching schools/feverishly applying to those desired schools so as to get the social experience I want. The stereotypical college experience. All of my friends at A&M, FSU, UT, and UCF absolutely LOVE their situations, and none of my friends went to small liberal arts school. What was I thinking!!</p>
<p>Moral of the story, kids, research research research where you want to go, and more importantly, know what you want, not what you want to want.</p>