NEED HELP WITH PERSONAL STATEMENT ASAP! Any help will be appreciated

<p>Ok so I am answering to the second prompt of my UC personal statement. It is my first draft. I just wrote down whatever came to my mind, so I know there are many many mistakes. Just wanted an opinion on the choice of topic.
The question is</p>

<p>Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>