Need Help with supplements. Would this be okay?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Brown University
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<p>Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated in our Member Section, earlier in this application? If you are “undecided” or not sure which Brown concentrations match your interests, consider describing more generally the academic topics or modes of thought that engage you currently. (150 word limit)</p>

<pre><code>Although I am not exactly sure where I want to be five years from now, but I have narrowed my interests to studying science, mainly Biology. I am considering medical studies. However, I do not want to make the commitment yet before exploring other possible options. Thus, flexibility is the main factor that I am looking for right now, and that is what Brown University provides in concentrations like the AB Biology Program. This concentration allows students to study Biology while still being able to take supplemental courses that are required for Pre-Meds program that I am considering but am not certain about yet.
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<p>It’s very generic.</p>

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<p>first of all, NEVER EVER post essays or drafts, etc of your application to any public forum. If you want feedback, you should ask people and then PM it so its not public knowledge…This is for your safety.</p>

<p>Second of all, New Yorker Guy is correct. You pick either to commit or not to commit. If you chose Biology or whatever talk about it and don’t refer to like “maybes” or “unevenness” about your choice cause it will only hurt you. Be specific concerning your actual interests within biology (microbiology, ecology, genetics, etc) and WHY…That is the most key part, the WHY part. Whether it be personal experience, huge interest, passion, etc make it sound genuine. If you want, you can PM me an essay if you want some feedback. just my .02 cent</p>