Need input for my Common App Transfer essay

I wanted to get some more input for my transfer essay. I really want this to work out and accept any criticism! Thank you!!
PROMPT: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

I remember distinctly the first time I was exposed to how writing, and specifically my own words on paper, could compel another person to feel emotion. How they understood what I was feeling and thinking, simply by the words I wrote. I was in eighth grade and my English teacher was giving me praise for a paper I had written on my parents’ divorce. For the first time, writing wasn’t about getting an “A” or following a five paragraph system; we had been given minimal guidelines for the paper and I’d thrived. As my teacher, Ms. Palmer, had put it I understood how to “present a factual story while keeping the reader’s’ interest.” She suggested that I submit it to a special essay contest and I was thrilled. I gained so much that day, more than just another “A” on an assignment, but an appreciation for my newfound talent.
From that moment on, I began writing whatever I was feeling at any given moment and about what I saw happening in the world around me. Whether it was my frustrations about the never-ending conflicts in society or my personal dilemmas on being a modern day teenager, I can guarantee I wrote about it. Even at my young age, I started to rack my brain trying to ascertain how I could be sure to use writing in my career. Should I be a novelist, a poet, maybe even a screenwriter? All of these different ideas came and went during my phase of pondering. Once I hit high school though, it all became clear to me; how I could help others through my writing. It came to me because of what Ms. Palmer had said; I could make the pain and tribulations of everyday life less difficult, even if just for the small amount of time while someone was reading what I presented to the world. I determined I would be a journalist. I aspire for my writing to make an impact on society, and aid people through the adventure of life. Whether it’s an investigative news article, editorial piece, or even a feature about an esteemable individual, I am eager to learn more about honing in on my abilities for writing. I have utilized the resources placed around me and learned much along the way. Although I am very grateful for what I have learned while being at College of the Canyons, it is not where my path ends. I had the opportunity to try out different courses and determine what was best for me. Most importantly, though I was able to work on my writing and solidify what I want to do. Transferring to a prestigious university in a thriving, scholastic environment is the next step in my journey and I am more than prepared to take it. Exercising the expertise I gain from the wonderful experience of attending a university, I will be able to go forth in the world and do what I’ve always dreamt of; make my mark on society in the most fitting way that I know how.

  1. You shouldn't post your essay directly on threads like this where they can be plagiarized; instead, send it to someone you trust via a private message.
  2. The focus of your essay should really be "your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve," not so much how you came to be interested in English and writing. Saying that you want to "gain expertise" and "make your mark on society" is very vague; try to be more specific about what you hope to learn and how you want to utilize the resources at your new school to achieve your goals.