Need my SAT Essay Graded with Feedback

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Thank you for taking the time to grade my essay and give me feedback. I understand that my essay is short. I had more examples to support my thesis but not enough time. Here it is:</p>

<p>Prompt:<br>
Knowledge is power. In agriculture, medicine and industry, for example, knowledge has liberated us from hunger, disease and tedious labor. Today, however, our knowledge has become so powerful that is it beyond our control. We know how to do many things, but we do not know where, when, or even whether this know-how should be used. </p>

<p>Assignment:
Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<pre><code> Knowledge can be onerous rather than beneficial. Our knowledge of how the world and universe works, opens new horizons for application every time a new discovery is made. Whether that knowledge is then used well or for evil means is dependent on those who posses it. Therefore, knowledge is simply an enabler so powerful that it blurs the lines of morality based on the discretion of its possessor; it causes harm if used that way.

In the documentary, Wild China, China's leader Mao's motto was "Man must conquer nature." The documentary went on to explain how the Chinese Alligator, despite its venerated roots in the Chinese belief system, was increasingly being exterminated because the people deemed them to be pests. The Chinese Alligator is now an endangered species on its slow road to recovery solely because of the sanctuaries that protect and breed them. In this case, the knowledge of how to produce a lethal concoction of chemicals allowed the common man access to poison or gunpowder; consequently, it gave mankind the power to eradicate any species if they so deem.

It is evident how knowledge can be a burden; not only to those of us who want to protect nature but also to all that which is subject to our volition. Of which, is the earth's varied species and the natural world previously in equilibrium with its periodic cycles of rainfall and evaporation, of life and death. Cutting edge discoveries that will enable cloning or bone regeneration are currently being debated back and forth with no conclusion being reached. From this it goes to say, that the only way to address this issue is for leaders of the world to come together and make the tough decisions by outlining when, where and whether these know-hows should be used. It is not being suggested that scientific research or the acquiring of knowledge be stopped; only that it be regulated where its potential for misuse and harm is high.
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<p>The first example lacks focus- you are talking about Mao, a documentary and an alligator. And then the recovery of the alligator population. Surely if people wanted to kill alligators all along they could have dont so without a “lethal concoction of chemicals” so what is the ‘knowledge’ here that caused a problem?</p>

<p>Also notice even if alligators are negatively impacted, you havent established that there is a “burden” to the person perusing knowledge. </p>

<p>In the third paragraph, I cant tell exactly what the example is. You could use this as an opportunity to say how cloning might reduce our common humanity or that it will encourage social architects to try to play god with the population. Then you would be showing a burden. </p>

<p>Also you need a conclusion to this essay.</p>

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<p>Can somebody grade my essay too? Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below:
The more critical reason dominates, the more impoverished life becomes. When reason is overvalued, the individual suffers a loss. Relying more on facts and rationality than on imagination and theory detracts from the quality of a person’s intellectual life.</p>

<p>Adapted from Carl Jung.</p>

<p>Assignment: Is knowing facts as important as understanding ideas and concepts? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>ESSAY:</p>

<p>“ I do not believe in learning anything that can be looked up in a book,” said a little boy to his history teacher several decades ago. “Then I suppose you do not believe in education,” replied the teacher, exasperated with the boy, who he say as an insincere truant. “ I do not believe the learning of facts comprises an education,”the boy answered. Today this boy’s portraits are hung in physics labs across the globe because he grew up to be arguably the most famous icon of modern physics. His name was Albert Einstein.</p>

<p>Einstein’s frustration still echoes in classrooms. Although pedagogical and educational techniques have changed, rote learning is still prevalent in schools. In my opinion, it is more important to be able to comprehend concepts and apply them to a wide array of situations instead of merely mug up dates and facts. In certain situations, facts may indeed be indispensable, but one won’t go very far without a thorough understanding if all the aspects of the issue.</p>

<p>Creativity is that tool which embellishes a piece of work and sets it apart from other works. Scientists and engineers for instance, routinely need to use imagination in order to develop novel and pathbreaking theories. Max Planck had to take a giant leap of faith to explain the inexplicable phenomenon of black body radiation by proposing energy was emitted in discrete units called packets – a nearly blasphemous theory to most erstwhile physicists.</p>

<p>Understanding concepts is a necessary precursor to creativity. Facts help, but facts when coupled with imagination and out- of- the- box thinking to serve as icing are the real deal.</p>