<p>Hi everyone,</p>
<p>I am a freshman living in a single room at a primarily commuter school. I have tried to make new friends but ave found it near impossible to do so. My floor seems to all stick to themselves and a lot of people I meet in class are commuters. I have a few high school friends with me here but they dont seem to ever want to do anything. This leaves me finding myself insanely bored and lonely. I have tried a few clubs (two professional and debate) but none seem to be very good at making new friends. I am unsure of how to make new friends in college but would definitely like to do so. I know this year I will likely not make new friends but would like a new strategy for the fall (I have already switched housing to a 4 bedroom dorm with a living room). What advice do you guys have?</p>
<p>I think switching to a 4 bedroom dorm is a good idea. Having roommates helps because you’re stuck with being with someone socially, even if you aren’t complete besties with them. It’ll be nice just to know that someone is there, and they’ll be a solid source of company since you’ll spend time with them while you’re all in your rooms.</p>
<p>As for other things to do, have you thought about getting a job on campus? I suggest this to practically everyone because it actually really helped me open up more. I’m a sophomore this year and started working at my university’s writing center this fall. I was instantly surrounded by people with similar interests and who seemed to genuinely care about others, and it’s been great. Our friendships started by discussing our favorite books, progressed to sharing a bit about our lives, moved on to form jokes and familiarity with each other, and now deepened to hanging out all the time and crying to each other about our problems and our stresses. I’m so happy because I know that I’ll have some good friends for the rest of my time here, and it helps when it’s a discipline- specific job where you share interests with your co-workers.</p>
<p>Besides that, another thing is waiting to find good friends in your major program. I’ve been immersed heavily in my majors this year and I’ve made friends with the people I’ll be sending the next two years with. Even though they commute and I live on campus, we still meet up in the library to study, go over assignments, vent about shared professors and classmates, and even just shoot the breeze since we’ve known each other for a while. </p>
<p>It’ll get easier once you start seeing the same faces in the same areas, and I guess all I can say is hang in there. 
good luck!</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice Harvestmoon, its been a long first year.</p>
<p>What about a club that is more aimed at fun than professional or debate activities? Also, you might look for big things happening on campus that require volunteers. Working side by side with people planning and carrying out some big event over a period of time could be a good way to get to know some people, too. </p>
<p>I don’t know if there is Greek life on campus, but you could consider that. Some Greek organizations are focused more on service, a few are co-ed, not all of them are in the hard-partying traditional mold if you don’t want that. Also, if your housing arrangement doesn’t bring more friends next year, is there any co-op or special interest housing on campus? Those are really good ways to meet friendly people (I lived in a co-op my senior year at a large university, and made more new friends that year than pretty much any other year I was on campus – just wish I had moved in there earlier).</p>
<p>Finally… I am trying to brainstorm a way to meet more people who are on campus over the weekends (the non-commuters). Especially those from far away, they may be looking for friends as well. I don’t have any great ideas for that, but maybe someone else will.</p>
<p>@intparent, thanks for the advice! There is Greek life, but I never really looked into frats as im not sure if im a fit for any. I have always heard a lot of negative media on Greek life and I am in the honors program here so i didnt think the two could really co exist. Also what is co-op/ special int housing? I havent really heard of that before but it sounds promising.</p>
<p>Some colleges have cooperative housing (bigger universities – like U of Wisconsin-Madison or U of Michigan, for example). Some smaller colleges have them, too (I think maybe Oberlin does). They are houses that typically have maybe 20-50 residents. Everyone pays rent that included a food budget. And everyone has a job, typically something that takes 4 hours per week. Maybe cooking dinner on Wednesdays, vacuuming, acting as house treasurer, etc. You sign up for a job. There is typically a central co-op organization that helps with centralized purchasing for things like food. You have free run of the kitchen and pantry for breakfast and lunch (make it yourself). Our co-op was a lot of fun – common rooms for watching TV, and we had wicked ping pong tournaments. I knew 2 people before I moved in, but made lots of new friends right away. Ours wasn’t a super hippy granola type coop (some may be) – we had a lot of aerospace engineers living in ours. Your college may not have this option, but thought I would bring it up. Your housing office should know if this is an option or not. Or the college website might have something in “student life”.</p>
<p>Some colleges also have “special interest” housing. It is housing provided by the college – sometimes separate houses, sometimes wings of dorms. They have some kind of theme – maybe a foreign language house (eg, "Spanish house), or something like sci fi/fantasy or something like that. The people who live in them usually share some common interest, which makes it easy to make friends.</p>
<p>Not everyone will agree (and all experiences may not be the same), but I have heard that the substance free housing at some colleges is a really welcoming, multi-age group. They are people looking for something to do besides party, and older students often take newer student under their wing for social activities. Again… this might not be to your liking, or might not be that way at your college. If they have it at your college, you might try stopping in on a weekend evening to see who is around and whether it suits you.</p>
<p>Regarding Greek life, your college website might have a link to the Greek organizations. If they have websites, look them over and see if any of them appeal to you. I know at one of my kid’s colleges, there was a service fraternity that didn’t have a house – they just were a group of guys who got together to do service projects. All Greek organizations do some service, but in this case it was really their full focus. Some of the smaller ‘less popular’ houses or groups that don’t have a house might be a fit for you.</p>
<p>Do you like sports? How about a running club? Or a training group for people wanting to run a half marathon? Or people learning another sport like tennis? </p>
<p>Are you religious? A religious group would help you make friends, especially one that volunteers in the community. </p>
<p>I like the idea of you doing something with a group. You will find like minded individuals, but also bond over the doing of the activity. </p>
<p>@intparent thanks again for your help! I will look into that.</p>
<p>@Lizardly was looking into joining badminton club for rest of semester hopefully that will work out! I have never really joined a sports club or anything like that in High school (made most of friends in ROTC program and subsequently became friends with their friends) so it will be kind of a new experience for me. This may sound silly but when are you supposed to talk to and interact with the other members of the sports team, lol.</p>
<p>You can chat with sports friends in the locker room while you are getting ready, during practice (but not so much you disrupt the training), and afterwards. It has been my experience that sports friends go eat together after games and practices. I suggested a running group because runners talk to each other while running…often about running. And all that running makes you hungry…It is a very social sport, and no skills are required. A low key sport like badminton ought to be pretty social, too. </p>