need some advice on life please

College Confidential Community
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<p>hello everyone</p>

<p>i have a dilemma that's stressing. i don't know where to go in life. i try to live in the present moment as much as possible, and i try to not let it affect me but it still does. body has aged 19 years</p>

<p>to be honest, i don't want to attend college or university. my beliefs about public education (private schools too for that matter) create an aversion. i believe public education (colleges and universities) is more restraining than liberating. it limits you and your entire life afterward rather than allowing your full potential as a being to blossom. thing such as name, status/reputation, education, money, making friends or acquaintances, "becoming successful", getting a girlfriend or even marriage/creating a family (hang in there before you throw your hammer of judgment :]) are not things that really interest me, in fact i do not believe any of those things bring "true happiness". my parents want me to attend college/university, and if i don't it is obvious they will become deeply saddened, and this in return creates a guilt which does not allow me to continue onto any other plans other than public education.</p>

<p>my real interest is in Truth, Reality, Liberation... etc. things such as Advaita Vedanta (a philosophy from India), Yoga (which is not an exercise but an internal science to freedom), Zen, and Taoism are what truly interest me.. finding our true nature, finding what is Real. if i didn't have parents, i would go to india and become an ascetic (basically a hermit who has renounced material life), but this is not possible due to my parents (perhaps this will be possible in my elderly years). i do not belong to any religion.</p>

<p>so you may say, "why not just go to college and study philosophy or psychology? make your parents happy while still having a firm grip on your true interests." universities in California (which is the only place i would attend school if i am to go) only offer Western philosophy for the most part, which does not interest me at all. western psychology does not interest me either.</p>

<p>i could just get a job which doesn't require any degrees or certificates and live in a cheap apartment, but this would still leave my parents saddened, which again results in guilt which will not allow this type of lifestyle.</p>

<p>it makes me upset how selfish their desire for me to go to college is, when they know well what my beliefs are. when you get down to it, honestly, they expect too much, like most parents. the fact that they even have a son is not enough, they have to see me succeed to feed their ego or else they become sad, and they know their sadness affects me to the point that i am not able to do anything else. but i have to continuously suppress the desire to become upset with understanding, and now im left with a constant "anxiety-kinda feeling" (which they have become very clearly aware of) which i feel for almost the entire waking state of the day (this background emotion has been going on for almost a year). you can call it a mild case of depression if you'd like, i guess. if i try to smoke marijuana or cigarettes, this specific feeling intensifies to the point that my body starts to twitch and shake, making me very uncomfortable, so i don't use drugs.</p>

<p>I apologize if i have offended you giving my beliefs towards public education.
advice please? thank you</p>

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<p>There are probably colleges you can attend and take courses in Eastern Philosophy and Buddhist/Eastern Religion. However, you would have to take other classes, too.</p>

<p>If college is certainly not what you want in life, you need to tell your parents this. It is your life.</p>

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<p>thanks for responding. colleges put emphasis on logic and reason, and only offer a couple of classes on eastern philosophy. to be honest eastern philosophy doesn’t interest me much either (at least what they teach at schools) other than those specific schools mentioned. my interests in buddhism are minor, only Zen interests me, not even that much though (even Taoism for that matter). Advaita-Vedanta (which i highly doubt will be taught in western schools, and if it is probably only a quick minute about it), then Yoga are my primary interests regarding schools of thought.</p>

<p>i have told my parents this, they have heard it many times in many different expressions</p>

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<p>which race do you belong to…that will give one a better understanding of you and your family background</p>

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<p>middle eastern</p>

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<p>Just my two cents, could you possibly attend a CC and select only the classes that interest you? I took a World Religions class at my CC, and I would have loved to study it further, but there were no other courses that went deep in its subjects. You do not need a degree in life. You hear how many people say that a degree is nothing these days? Well, it is often better than nothing because easy employment is scarce if you don’t have at least some kind of paper proving you studied handsomely. You seem to know what interests you, which I encourage you to use to wove your own path in your life. I highly recommend that you take some college classes though, not only to satisfy your parents’ wishes, but if you could just study the subjects that grab you, you’ll learn so much and become a much more reliable person of what touches your heart. </p>

<p>In a way, I was told to obtain an AA degree before transferring to a 4-yr school. I needed to take a couple of extra classes that I refused to take. You need to be careful what kind of classes you take, however, as I see it in my own way that oftentimes some parts of a college education can be detrimental rather than enlightening. </p>

<p>I don’t know, somehow I picture your insights as reflecting my philosophy teacher, who, too, did not really know where to go in his life, but he went on to receive a MFA in philosophy and teach it at the CC where he once attended and lived during his childhood. He’s teaching, learning, and growing everyday through classroom discussions of philosophy and world religions. He couldn’t be happier, and even his students!</p>

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<p>u know what u need to do-talk to your parents about these issues honestly-if your parents are not ready to listen to you and your thoughts on these issues and you are as i can see getting really really affected by this- write to ypur parents-come on its worth it believe me-write down all this and more to them-email them -they say you can pen down more easily your agonies and pains than talk face to face-nothing and nothing in this big bad world is worth the pain and tribulations you are going thru…email them clearly stating all your thoughts,your views,your pains,your confusions-bring up the issues clearly-come accross as needing their guidence and their understanding -after all they are your parents and they need to know before its too late for them and you-your relationship with them is the most important in your journey of life-take the step and face the truth and make them face the truth-you could work and go to college to balance it out-but TALK WRITE OR CONFRONT-BUT DO IT TO GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM-come on …take the plunge-believe me you will feel lighter</p>

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<p>^^</p>

<p>just confront your parents clearly and honestly about this. </p>

<p>there is schools for this kind of education you are talking about i am sure somewhere. not colleges though.</p>

<p>a college you can consider is Evergreen State College. they have a lot of yoga/eastern pholosphy courses and doesn’t have grades… it is a very liberal school that might suit you.</p>

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<p>Try reading the gospel of John in the New International Version or New Living Translation. It is worth a read just to check out Jesus. It is what I did after researching Eastern religions. Try not to think of today’s church and “Christians”. Just follow Jesus’ teachings. You will get full of fulfillment, love, and direction in life. Good luck my friend. I’m with you.</p>