Need some third-party thoughts on really risky common app essay

College Essays
1

<p>My common app essay is about how I am an eugenicist, liar and a hypocrite. It is a polished, finalized essay that I sent out to several schools already. I would really appreciate some outside thoughts on the essay material, not necessarily the grammar or diction. These final thoughts are mainly to calm some fears (or raise some) and to decide on some more essay additions to "lighten the tone." I believe this essay might make or break several of my college applications. Counselor said do not send, and English teacher said it is risky. I edited it some more but I would still like some more feedback, especially some from complete strangers. Tell me what you guys think! I look forward to crying or smiling afterward. </p>

<p>Just some academic background info...
~Ivy-league applicant
~Good grades/many ECs/Volunteering/etc. etc. etc.</p>

<p>I should also note that I applied EA to Boston College and I was accepted into their College of Arts and Sciences Honors Program. Not too sure if my essay was a deciding factor since BC was a safety for me...</p>

2

<p>Send it here, I’ll take a gander. Like you said I’m not going into diction/grammar/or anything. I’ll only give you me 2 cents on the essay as a whole.</p>

3

<p>I can do the same if you’d like.</p>

4

<p>DON’T SEND! ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT! :o</p>

5

<p>I’ll read it if you like.</p>

6

<p>I’ll read it. I’m curious.</p>

7

<p>Ok, I PMed my essay to everyone that offered to read it. So that excludes you, dudecollege, by thanks for the input!</p>

<p>I really appreciate this and feel free to just tear it apart.</p>

8

<p>Do you mind if I read it? :3</p>

9

<p>i’d like to read, very intrigued to say the least, could definitely make or break you.</p>

10

<p>Oh man, a modern day eugenicist. I kind of NEED to read this. I’m really curious how you’ll make the same principles the Nazis used to justify killing the Jews sound, you know, appealing…PM it over</p>

11

<p>PM it over; this sounds very interesting and I’d love to read. Btw, I’ve sent all my apps so no risk of stealing.</p>

12

<p>@arunemo I just PMed it to everyone that offered and I doubt anyone would want to steal this idea haha.</p>

13

<p>Sounds very interesting; feel free to PM.</p>

14

<p>I haven’t submitted all of my apps yet, but I don’t think I’d be compelled to steal your essay–no offense. I am, however, very intrigued by the premise and would be happy to read it and tell you my impressions.</p>

15

<p>I’d be curious to read it too if you don’t mind. I sometimes agree with some points in eugenics.</p>

16

<p>Hey DogChow,</p>

<p>I would love to read it. Its ironic that I did a comparative study on eugenics in history last semester, love to hear how you think of it.</p>

17

<p>I don’t mean to be rude or condescending, but do you realize that eugenics is associated with racism, Nazism, White Supremacy, discrimination, concentration camps, forced sterilization and abortion…?
Why would you write a college essay about being an eugenicist? Honestly, I don’t think it’s risky, it’s suicidal. I haven’t read the essay, but you might have killed your chances.
But that’s just my misinformed opinion. It all depends on how you define eugenics, although the term itself has VERY negative connotations.</p>

18

<p>I’m pretty curious. Mind if I take a look?</p>

19

<p>I’ll read it. Send it over :)</p>

20

<p>@mbonassa</p>

<p>I get the feeling the OP is trying to present him- or herself as evil incarnate and then put forth an antithesis to that portrayal, or subvert it in some other way. I can’t imagine the message of the essay is a straightforward “Hi, so I’m a racist.”</p>

<p>Which is not to say that it can’t be in bad taste or that it can’t convey some pretty stupid ideas about race and racism inadvertently, of course.</p>