Need suggestions for a letter to the dean

Parents Forum
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<p>Need some thoughts on our situation.</p>

<p>Dd is a sophomore in college. Last year, she entered her freshman year with 18 college credits earned in pre-college programs and during her senior year. She was accepted and attended prestigious art and design school in NYC, majoring in photography. At the end of freshman fall semester, she was terribly homesick, not enjoying her major and just wanted to come home. School suggested she take a leave, which she did. Only passed 3 out of 5 classes so she was put on academic probation after she left.
After being home last spring, after about 2 months, she began to see more clearly what had been happening. The dr gave her a very low anti-depressant and she slowly became herself again. She decided her major had not been right, looked into other options and eventually asked the school if she could return. They welcomed her back this semester.</p>

<p>So far, so good. She seems much more settled and she is enjoying her major and classes. </p>

<p>And then...right before my hubby and I left for a 2 week trip, she told me her prescription had run out. I told her to call dr and get them to send a refill to a NYC drugstore. Well, turns out the dr office mistakedly told her she had not been seen in over a year and they couldn't refill presrciption. I was away and she didn't know what to do. So, for almost 2 weeks, she didn't have her meds. As a result, she was very sleepy, "zombie-like" she says, and slept thru the same early class twice. At that point, she was told she needed to withdraw from that class as only 1 absense is allowed. She withdrew before the lst drop date so it doesn't affect her GPA.</p>

<p>I finally got the message of what was happening and I called dr office and told them to review their records because she had been there last spring. They realized mistake and immediately refilled prescription. Dd began taking it again and all is well. Problem is dropping that class put her down to taking only 11 credits - she needed to be taking 12 for the academic probation. If the school follows the rules, she will be academically dismissed after this semester is over.
Her remaining classes are going good and she has A's and B's. She wants to stay. Her advisor is trying to help her come up with a solution and today, gave her two email addressses. One for the dean and one for the program director.</p>

<p>So, I need some help so I can advise her. She needs to write a letter and take full responsibility. She has learned the hard way that she needs to speak up for herself, as an adult, in a health care setting. She can get a letter from the dr office. Dd is willing to pay back financial aid for the class she dropped (she has about 50% aid). Not sure if that will matter.
Should I wirte a letter asking for consideration for her?
How should she format her letter?</p>

<p>I really need some help here. I hope I explained enough.
Thank you.</p>

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<p>No advice, just wishing you well!</p>

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<p>Are you close enough you can go and meet with the Dean with your D? That worked when my xH went with older S to avoid a semester off. Also, is there a one credit anything that she can still take? Some schools have mini classes or 1credit classes; or how about the winter session to make it up?</p>

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<p>you’ve gotten good advice so far. I would add:</p>

<p>a) your daughter should do as much of this as possible, or at least appear to. For example, letters and email should come from her, but maybe you feel the need to edit/proofread them.</p>

<p>b) the college almost definitely has a disability services office, and she should seek them out.</p>

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<p>I agree with what others have said. Have your d write the letter, that you then edit or proof. You could call the doctor’s office and ask them to provide a letter stating that she was without medication due to a records mistake that has since been fixed. This just proves her story that she was off of her properly prescribed medication. In fact, better yet, give your D the letter from her doctor and have her make a face to face appointment with the dean. It’s likely to be much more effective and faster. </p>

<p>There is probably a way that she can work out how to get that extra credit. That should be the focus of her discussion with the Dean. Maybe in one of her other classes she can do a special study or extra research project in order to make up that last credit. Or the dean can help her find a solution with summer classes, etc. Schools don’t want to bounce students, especially over 1 credit. But they also hear a lot of excuses, so you need to make sure your D has the right documentation to prove that she was in a real situation of medical difficulty.</p>

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<p>I agree with the suggestion that you go to the meeting with your DD. Let her do the talking, but you’re there to show support. She should also seek support from the disability office as well as get a note from her doctor.</p>

<p>In case this ever happens again, virtually all drugstores give you a small amount of meds to “hold you over” if the dr is unable to immediately provide a new script. </p>

<p>I’m sorry she didn’t communicate something to that professor, but I’m glad nothing worse happened while she was going through withdrawal than felt sleepy.</p>

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<p>I agree with those who suggest working with the office for students with disabilities. She may have some protection from the Americans with Disabilities Act. Perhaps a letter from her prescribing doctor would help. I believe the college is expected to make reasonable accommodations for students with disabilities.</p>

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<p>Thank you, everyone.</p>

<p>She takes a low dose mediaction just to balance her out. This would qualify her as a student with a disability?</p>

<p>Dd is planning to write the letter. I was asking if you thought it would be beneficial for me to also write a letter in support of her.</p>

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<p>I wonder if the doctor’s office will really be willing to put it in writing that they made a mistake?</p>

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<p>One of the questions I think she should be prepared to answer is why she did not go to the college’s clinic when her medication was incorrectly cut off. This seems to be the obvious course of action, but she didn’t do it.</p>

<p>The clinic could have helped her – either by contacting her primary care physician or writing a temporary prescription for her. She was taking an anti-depressant – a type of medication that should not be abruptly discontinued. They would have helped her to work something out.</p>

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<p>Marion,</p>

<p>Yes, you and I know this. A 19 year old is not neccesarily as resourseful. When the doctor’s office told her they would not refill the prescription, she thought she was at a dead end. The abrupt stop of taking it is what made her “zombie-like” and sleepy.</p>

<p>Hopefully, this situation will count as extenuating circumstances. She just needs to present it the correct way.</p>

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<p>Did the medication have a sticker on the bottle saying that it should not be discontinued abruptly?</p>

<p>If it did, and if the doctor’s office did not explain how to taper it off when they told her that her prescription could not be refilled, that’s another thing they did wrong.</p>

<p>I’m always amazed at the random things our kids don’t happen to know. Mine would know to go to the clinic in a situation such as this, but on the other hand, one of mine wore shoes with the heels worn down to plastic for months because of not knowing that heels could be replaced at a shoe repair shop.</p>

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<p>lindab, you have a good plan and have received a lot of great advice. </p>

<p>I’ll only add that you might consider offering your daughter a few “getting business done” tips. For example, if she sends an email or paper letter, but doesn’t receive a response in, say, three business days, then she shouldn’t assume it’s a dead end. As you saw with her reaction to the doctor’s office’s “scrip can’t be refilled,” it’s typical for young people not to realize how to move beyond “no” or even a lack of response. Also, you know when you need action, it’s smart to close your initial letter with something like, “Thank you for your help in promptly resolving this matter. If I don’t hear from you in three days, I will call your office to make an appointment so we can discuss a solution.” (And then, if necessary, she needs to do just that!) </p>

<p>Finally, remind her of that old saying, “If it’s not in writing, it didn’t happen,” so if she has a personal meeting, she will need to ask how this will be documented and how she can get a confirmation copy for her records. If they don’t produce something on the spot, or if there’s no meeting but a phone call wherein a solution is reached, she needs to say something like, “I’d like to confirm our agreement by email. Let me repeat it back to you to be sure I understand it correctly.” Then she can orally state the agreement, which will insure no confusion and also allow her to write it down as she repeats it so she can readily transfer it to an email. Yes, they might say, “no email is necessary, I’ve noted it in your file or such-and-such a record.” But we all know what young people don’t know…that sometimes, that notation is never made or is not recorded in a place the next person will look…so creating your own paper trail is important!</p>

<p>I apologize if this seems insultingly elementary to you–it’s just that I went through these steps with one of my own recently, so the relative “cluelessness” is fresh on my mind!</p>

<p>Good luck, I sure hope the school is flexible enough to work with her.</p>