Need Suggestions: Parental Conflict With UC Decision

<p>So first of all, my UC of choice is UCSD. I talked to my mom ahead of time about my decision and she seemed okay with it. She really wanted to me to go to UCLA but I didn't apply on time since I didn't have 60 units completed so I chose to do UCSD's TAG. Anyways, I came back from visiting UCSD's campus yesterday and my mom got all riled up about how I'm going to afford to go there. Obviously attending college is expensive and all but I don't see why she is so upset. I now know that the reason why she wanted me to attend UCLA was because my grandparents live pretty close to the campus which means I wouldn't have to pay for an apartment. I would be saving around $10k/year which is a lot of money but this whole idea just ****es me off. I mean if I were to be accepted to CAL it would be just as expensive, or even more, than UCSD so what's the point? It looks like she wants me to attend UCI now since it's right down the street. Why don't I just go to a CSU if money is an issue? And why should your education conflict with monetary issues anyways? I'm well aware that to some extent the college from which you received your BA/BS from doesn't matter in the long run but I don't agree on attending a college because based on costs. What makes this situation worse is my mom will be attending law school soon so my parents will be up to their neck in payments. Do you guys think I'm overreacting or in the wrong? Is my mom? All comments welcome.</p>

<p>I think it's a shame your parent's were not up front with you sonner. However, unless you're willing to foot the bill through work and loans, they get the financial say as the bill payers.</p>

<p>College, like any other consumer product, is a matter of what you can afford. That's just reality. Many kids don't get to go to the school of their choice for financial reasons.</p>

<p>The good news is that you only have 2 (maybe 3 depending on major and how aggressive you are at a UC) years of undergrad left and UCs are moderately priced, so it may be doable with your efforts alone.</p>

<p>UCI wouldn't be the worst alternative in the world. Too bad I'll have to wait until Fall 06' until I apply meaning another full year of JC ugh! In other words, I'll be one year behind my classmates and have 30 more (pointless) undergrad units. Well, I'll see what I can do to get into UCI earlier if I can but I highly doubt it. To be honest, I hate this whole idea because of these factors. Yea, I'll be saving 10k to graduate later. Is there any way I could take upper-division classes even though I'm not yet enrolled into UCI?</p>

<p>Well, sorry to hear about ur decision. I didn't go to UC after HS b/c of money issues.</p>

<p>If u have ur mind set on SD, 10K is not a HUGE loan. A lot of kids pay 30K just for admission to school like USC.</p>

<p>U should remind ur mom that u saved a ton by spending first 2-3 years at a CC, and missed out on college life. Tell her u think it's only fair that u have the opportunity to select ur next school.</p>

<p>Then i would explain and show how good SD trully is and is a better school than UCI (?).</p>

<p>UCI does have some guaranteed program that allows u to transfer in winter or something i think</p>

<p>Honestly your mom should get off your case you are doing everything you can and may be one day you will be able to repay her back for her help but her complaining is not very helpful and it seems the damage is done by giving you the guilt trip. I know I sound insensitive and ungrateful but sometimes parents can be unsupportive the last I'd want my kid to feel is pressure from me or criticism of being selfish. Do want you want get loans out and prove to her that you will be fine doing your way... like that frank sinatra song.</p>

<p>sorry my post sounds incoherent I know but I rushed it I'm sure you get the gist of it. go where you want and prove to her that your decision was the right one for YOU not her.</p>

<p>Thanks guys! I'm giving it some thought!</p>

<p>you should do what you can to go to the place of your dreams. college is the best time of your life and its all down hill from there.</p>

<p>Hey Nikkei, here's an idea it seems like you havent even considered...</p>

<p>Transfer fall 06 and instead of getting 30 extra credits in school over the next year that you dont need...WORK FULL TIME AND SAVE UP! You don't have to be an enrolled student at the time of transfer-!</p>

<p>gabew42, won't working full-time look bad to UCI's admissions when I transfer? I've always thought that which is why I never considered doing it. I know I'll be working but it just seems like it'll make me look inferior to my competition (the other applicants).</p>

<p>Absolutely not. I've had numerous counselors confirm that taking time off before transferring to save up money is a good, intelligent idea. If you have completed the courses necessary for transfer (including prereqs) and there is no other reason to do ancillary work at a CCC (like getting more educated on something) then there is no drawback to taking time off for work. </p>

<p>I believe it's fairly common. The work experience can also help you big time AFTER you graduate when you're looking for a job. And if you get a job that pertains to your major it could even make your transfer application look a little better.</p>

<p>I know that the Spring before I transfer I will only be taking 3 credits...originally I was going to take nothing but a prereq class came up so I'm doing it. I'm in a similar situation to you, but I'm taking a lot of courses this summer and next fall to raise my GPA...I don't think of it as "losing" a year because I know there will be many opportunites to gain important work experience and further my education.</p>

<p>I just did some research on UCI's PAIF and it looks like I can transfer in for the winter quarter! The problem is I won't have the required units (60) by the end of summer and I heard that you needed to finish your units the quarter prior to the quarter in which you plan to transfer in. Do you think I can finish the rest of my 60 units in Fall 05' and still transfer into UCI in Winter 05'? I can probably fit 50 units in by the end of summer through summer classes but I still need 10 more units. I believe the deadline for the Winter 05' quarter is in July so I am confused about whether I qualify or not. PLEASE HELP!</p>

<p>to post author, and mexbruin, some others....</p>

<p>Of course you can go where you want. It's your investment, your future career, your business, your choice. What some are overlooking is that while the student has every right to make that decision, he doesn't have every right to decide for a parent what they are required to pay on his behalf. Any money a parent chips in for his offspring's higher education is a gift; and the amount is based on a parent's willingness and ability to pay- not on a child's demand.
If you are paying your own way, do it your way- like Sinatra's song. If however, you want someone else to pay all, or a big portion of the cost- then you are NOT doing it your way. Someone else is making it happen for you.</p>

<p>It's not that you're overreacting, it's just that as such a young person on the verge of being an adult, you have a limited perspective. When you say- one shouldn't let price determine what college- you really mean the folks should pay more for you. After you're older, and are a self supporting adult, you be better able to see the difficulty and pride in earning one's own way, and get a different point of view when others put their financial demands on you.
`</p>

<p>younghoss, don't get me wrong but I'm trying to accept that fact that my parents paying for my college tuition is something I should be grateful for. I am by no means ignorant about wanting things my way or the highway. I've actually thought about it a little more and living at home to save $10k/year in what would be monthly rent payments is a much better idea. Especially considering the fact that the cost of living these days is outrageous (the fact that the median price of housing is $500k)! So basically I'm set on going to UCI in effort to help my parents in terms of monetary issues. I became so ****ed because I had this image in my head that I'd be able to live the traditional college life that I lost when I went to a CCC. If you didn't already know, a majority of UCI's alumni commute so you can say the campus is sort of a bigger and better CCC. I'm looking on the bright side to this though. I can save money, join some clubs to meet new people and never have to worry about a food shortage in my fridge! But seriously, this is a great opportunity that I shouldn't pass up because it wasn't what I had planned in my future.</p>