First, it’s far from axiomatic that Berkeley has a better reputation than Wesleyan. Of course, Berkeley may indeed have an “amazing” reputation, but Wes has a national reputation that should not be discounted. (A tangential, but related, point: Wes, as a private school, attracts a more nationally diverse student body.)
Almost everything in your post suggests Wesleyan, with the possible exception of cost. At that, I would still consider paying somewhat more for Wesleyan. How much more is a personal and family decision.