<p>anyone know any? don't worry, if you reply, that doesn't automatically label you as nerd. plus, nerds are smart, and that's a good thing...</p>
<p>i just thot this might liven up the atmosphere here</p>
<p>Are engineers considered the epitome of nerdiness?</p>
<p>that and math majors, lol</p>
<p>Nerdiness = smart = education = job = $$ = house, cars, spouse = happiness.</p>
<p>seriously jocks are only "cool" in highschool. once out of there they usually end up at mcdonalds...while nerds make money.</p>
<p>come on, we future engineer are smart. one of us MUST know a good joke</p>
<p>Here's one:</p>
<p>3 engineers and 3 accountants were taking a trip to a conference. At the train station, each accountant bought their ticket. However, the engineers only bought one ticket for all three of them. The accountants asked how they were going to get away with only having one ticket, and the engineers told them to watch and see.</p>
<p>After they boarded the train and it started moving, all three engineers locked themselves in the bathroom. When the conductor came to collect the tickets, he knocked on the door. The door cracked open and a hand shot out with the ticket. The conductor, not knowing that there were three people inside, took it and moved on. After he left the car the engineers came out. The accountants, were impressed, and told the engineers that they would try the same trick on the return trip.</p>
<p>On the way back, the accountants got one ticket, but the engineers didnt get any. The accountants laughed and wondered how the engineers were going to get themselves out of this one. After everyone boarded the train, and it started moving, the engineers hid in one bathroom, while the accountants did the same in the other one. Just before the conductor entered the car, one of the engineers came out, walked up to the accountants' bathroom, and knocked on the door.</p>
<p>So an engineering student was walking with his friend and pushing his new bike. The friend admired his new bike and asked where he got it. The first engineer said, "Well, this woman came up to me yesterday, threw the bike on the ground, threw her clothes on top of it, and said, 'Take whatever you want!' " </p>
<p>The second engineer said, "Well, you made a good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."</p>
<p>You know, it's good internet etiquette to contribute in the first post instead of just making a topic and asking everyone else to contribute. Moving on...</p>
<p>Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct31 = Dec26</p>
<p>A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. Upon being asked the price, the bartender responded, "For you? No charge."</p>
<p>Two atoms are walking down the street. One suddenly stops and says, "Oh no, I've lost an electron."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"</p>
<p>An engineer is walking to work when another engineer pulls up beside him in a shiny new motorcycle. The first engineer asked him where he got the bike.
"Well, I was walking to work when this beautiful woman rides up on the motorcycle, got off, took off her clothes and said 'Take what you want!'"
"Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."</p>
<p>If I could be your integral, I'd be indefinite, so I can be the area under ALL your curves.</p>
<p>I want to be your derivative, so I can be tangent to all your curves.</p>
<p>You're like a nonpolar covalent bond. Get it? You're not attractive.</p>
<p>And the ultimate joke: 42</p>
<p>there are 10 different kinds of people in this world</p>
<p>Those that know binary and those that don't</p>
<p>wow so fuggin' nerdy</p>
<p>(Runs away screaming Pi is rational)</p>
<p>kierke: you confused my husband until we realized that Christmas is Dec25, not 26 :)</p>
<p>My favorite Engineer joke:</p>
<p>Some people say the glass is half full. Others say it is half empty. Engineers say you made too much glass.</p>
<p>Peg</p>
<p>heh I prefer this variation of it:</p>
<p>Some people say the glass is half full. Others say it is half empty.</p>
<p>Engineers say the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.</p>
<p>kierke, terribly sorry. i was afraid someone was going to point this out. i however do not know of such jokes, and that is why i created this thread. BUT i will use google to make up for my lack of formality. please enjoy:</p>
<p>A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.
The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.
The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.
The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.</p>
<p>-kierke</p>
<p>My EE prof had spoke the exact joke during class</p>
<p>Two atoms are walking down the street. One suddenly stops and says, "Oh no, I've lost an electron."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"</p>
<p>Polter: that's hysterical! Maybe it's only funny for those of us who spent our undergrad time looking through tables of every darn thing under the sun... but that's great.</p>
<p>A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops. They went round to his flat and broke down the door. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The instructions on the bottle said:</p>
<ol>
<li>Wet hair</li>
<li>Apply shampoo</li>
<li>Lather</li>
<li>Rinse</li>
<li>Repeat</li>
</ol>
<p>I wonder how many people actually get the part about "42" ? try searching google for this: </p>
<p>"answer to life the universe and everything"</p>
<p>These are some "Your Mom" nerd jokes...</p>
<p>programming type: <a href="http://yourmom.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=c48b127b8766cce61db3920ebbb4d40d&PID=17%5B/url%5D">http://yourmom.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=c48b127b8766cce61db3920ebbb4d40d&PID=17</a></p>
<p>math type: <a href="http://yourmom.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=c48b127b8766cce61db3920ebbb4d40d&PID=16%5B/url%5D">http://yourmom.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=c48b127b8766cce61db3920ebbb4d40d&PID=16</a></p>
<p>physics type (most not that funny): <a href="http://yourmom.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=c48b127b8766cce61db3920ebbb4d40d&PID=18%5B/url%5D">http://yourmom.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=c48b127b8766cce61db3920ebbb4d40d&PID=18</a></p>
<p>Some of my favorites:</p>
<p>Your Mom is like a struct. She's got no class!</p>
<p>Your Mom is so fat, the recursive function computing her fatness causes a stack overflow.</p>
<p>Your Mom tried to run a stepwise regression on nominal data.</p>
<p>My Favorite (some may find it inappropriate, but you must admit how clever it is):
Your Mom is such a slut, she asked all the math majors to figure out g(f(your mom)) just so they could "f" her first.</p>
<p>bump up my post</p>