Suggest to the school to put signs on the tables (like at CMU I think) indicating if someone wants company or not?
Courage is probably needed though.
At this point, I’m starting to think that there is no good solution to my problems and I’m stuck like this forever so I’ll have to accept this life. Then, I have three exams this week overwhelming me, and I got a D on a lab. So there’s that.
Just do the best you can, get help if you need it.
What does your job path have to do with your social issues? Is your major and or career choice one that would require person to person socialization?
Double majoring in history and economics
I’ve been following this thread since the beginning (still receiving email notices as I can’t unsubscribe) and I feel I need to state something that no one has said yet, at least not as plainly. @wizman631 you need to stop making excuses about everything and either take people’s advice and DO something or stop complaining. People in here have all took the time to try and help-even multiple times-but people are going to stop trying if all you do is make excuses.
You want to make friends? Then go up to people and talk- stop making excuses for your social awkwardness, even if it is a result from a disorder. Having a disorder doesn’t change the formula for making friends. You still have to try- it’ll just be harder for you.
People all have struggles. Be it financial, emotional, physical.
They are not written on their forehead and usually they don’t advertise them.
Do you really think nobody but you is lonely, awkward, alone, scared?
Some people don’t have the money to go to college, some don’t have enough to eat, some have a terminal illness.
You need to look at all the things you do have. You can keep working on your social skills, it may take time, but if you keep trying it should get easier.
I still think volunteering would help. If you help others less fortunate then that makes you feel better about yourself and who knows, you might make a difference in someone’s life.
@NHuffer It’s not that I even made any excuses. I did join clubs and went to counseling. It’s just that the advice as a whole either backfires or is impractical to implement in reality. I am participating in a community service project this Saturday and might look into others soon. I might even attend a Best Buddies talent show tomorrow night if I’m up to it. Have an exam tomorrow during the day and I should be studying so I need to clear my mind.
@NHuffer you can probably change your preferences to not get emails: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/profile/preferences
One positive to happen to me recently: I got a 92 on my Central European History exam whicj I thought I would get a C on at best since that was the hardest of the three exams I had last week. This at least offset the D I got in a sustainable energy lab a couple weeks ago along with the lab quiz for it.
One negative thing to happen recently: I had an almost complete breakdown on Friday night. Once my exams were out of the way, I could focus on my social life again but I was essentially where I started (arguably since first grade). I still couldn’t convince myself that I wasn’t a loser and I’I not sure if I ever can.
Three positive traits about myself: Intelligent, Honest, Memorable (when focused). I also don’t use drugs or drink unlike most of my campus because there’s allegedly nothing to do (especially on the weekends); I usually listen to music on my laptop and keep track of hurricanes due to lack of other hobbies.
PS, I participated in a community service project Saturday morning where I helped make literacy kits for kids that don’t have the resources for books. Wow that was a mouthful.
Kudos for trying! I hope you can find more positives than negatives.
It’s a journey.
Great job OP! Proud of you! One step at a time, it will happen.
Small steps in a more positive direction. Congratulations!
Once again, I will be doing one positive , neutral, and negative thing each to happen to me recently.
Positive: I got two more exams back. One of which I got a 96 on and the other one an 100 (although to be fair, that one was curved - I would’ve gotten a 93 without it). I mean they were my two easiest exams, albeit back to back on the same day, but still.
Neutral: I did go to my dorm meeting to last night (Priority Points and Ice Cream were incentives) but once again did not have the courage to muster up a conversation in a large group setting. Again, it’s something that you either have (since you were born) or don’t. Although, it was semi-worth it if only for the ice cream.
Negative: It happened this morning. I overslept and missed my 8am class. To add insult to injury, there was a book quiz this morning that I missed. For some inexplicable reason, my alarms all got erased between yesterday and this morning. I emailed my professor later that morning and she said that a make-up quiz on the same book would be possible next week.
I know things should be okay, but it doesn’t feel that way. I feel like, being part of the Honors Program, there’s a stigma and so many unspoken rules that I have to adhere to, such as always showing up to class, never late, perfect student, etc. I also need to keep a 3.4 GPA to stay in it (up from 3.3 last year) even though I already have a 3.83.
Hi @wizman631
Sounds like the negative thing could be a neutral thing if you can take a make-up quiz. Good luck.
Congrats on the grades. Nothing at all to sneeze about. Those grades help out elsewhere when another class average is, um, less than desirable.
Like I just said, things don’t feel okay as they should seem. This might be part of a bigger issue, being part of the Honors Program. I feel there’s a stigma and so many unspoken rules that I have to adhere to, such as always showing up to class, never late, perfect student, etc. I broke those rules this morning by missing class and not showing up for the quiz. I have a feeling this will cost me potentially valuable relationships with professors in my department(s) if this happens at all. For my Honors thesis, I need a mentor who will guide me along, the mentor being one of my professors. That’s what giving me anxiety right now. The GPA requirement to stay in the Honors Program goes up every year and if I continue to be like this, I’ll get kicked out by the end and lose my scholarship, possibly costing me my college education.
But first things first.
You’re probably right. There are things you need to know about the Honors Program. And little by little, you’re figuring them out. My son is in an Honors Program and has to attend a meeting of some kind once a month. He mentioned the pressures of having to be in this class or that. But he also mentioned that they gave him steak at the last two (dinner) meetings. He too has 8:30 classes (M,W,F). It doesn’t help that he is struggling in his Spanish class. But he’ll get through it. And so will you.
I don’t think you broke as many rules as you think. Your professor provided you with a way to make up for that test. Once that grade is in, it’s as if this didn’t happen. You’ll find a way to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Even if it means investing in a clock with a battery back up.
As for your professor/mentor thing, do you have a professor in mind?
Keep going @wizman631 with the positive steps. I agree that your negatiive will move up to neutral once you do the make up. Believe it or not, what you are describing, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, are the vissisitudes of life (even for your peers who seem to have it all together). Keep taking one step at a time, but keep at it, fixing the problems that come up (making up exam because overslept) as they come along. Life is messy and you have to work at it every single day to learn to be content with it.
Well, I took the quiz last Tuesday (October 11) and I did fairly well on it, I think. Not great, but okay-good. I had an exam in the same class on Thursday (October 13) and I think I did even better. And I had another midterm in another class on Monday (October 17) and I got an 85 without the curb, but a 98 or 99 with the curb. On a downer note, I looked at my midterm grades and it turns out I only have a B+ in my science lab, aka my least favorite class, so I need to get it up before Inlet it destroy my GPA (I need to stay above a 3.4 to maintain my scholarship). Socially, I would’ve been miserable if not for the fact that I’ve been busy with exams and gathering sources for four term projects (papers). I guess there is enough of a disconnect between me and my counselor (a PHD student) and too many variables in social situations that I have a tough time practicing her advice in a meaningful reality.
Is it possible for you to switch to a counselor to whom you have more of a connection? You certainly need to get the most out of your sessions.