<p>I'm asking this for my friend's daughter. My friend passed away a couple of years ago, and her daughter is transferring to Vanderbilt as a sophomore from a Northern school. She's understandably getting nervous as her move-in date approaches and I am going to visit and to help her pack and hopefully calm her nerves. </p>
<p>I know nothing about Vanderbilt other than it's very Greek and the other information I've read on this board, so I'm not sure what to tell her. She will not be going through rush---dad won't allow it---so she doesn't have the pressure involved in dressing for that. But still, she doesn't want to stick out like a sore thumb. What do girls wear to class? She's coming from a private school in Chicago, but it was a very hipster scene so she could really wear just about anything. </p>
<p>Any advice would be appreciated, as well as any tips on how to get involved if you're a non-greek.</p>
<p>My daughter graduated this spring, but over the past 4 years, I saw Vandy girls dressed in many different ways. There is a visible contingent that wears expensive designer clothing – beautiful dresses, etc. There are plenty of girls in jeans and/or shorts and tee shirts. Outside the sorority world, it seems to be just normal clothing for upper-middle class kids. I noticed expensive tote bags (preppy lables and European designer labels). I am sure you’ve heard the bit about it seeming as if females are admitted on the basis of beauty – it looks like even the girls in the jeans/shorts have perfect hair and makeup. This isn’t everybody, but it’s not a student body that shops at WalMart/Target. Even the jeans/shorts are high end jeans and shorts, if you get my drift.</p>
<p>my son is from a conservative corner of the south but is non Greek at Vandy and is very happy with weekend evenings with friends who are not interested in Greek life…about half of the student body.<br>
I think the best advice you can give your friend’s daughter is to perfect an open attitude towards Greek and non Greek students, and to accept invitations extended by either group for anything that sounds like fun. Also to join something where she can contribute early on.</p>
<p>My son does Alternative Spring Break and goes places every spring with Greek and Non Greeks and they get along fine. Ditto his summer internships, and the teams/programs he works for at Vanderbilt—. Vanderbilt is like UVA, Duke and Emory…Greek life is significant but the student body is very bright and varied and if you are imaginative and happy with who you are, Vanderbilt has loads to offer.
Although Vandy is in Nashville, which has a warm southern vibe, Vandy is intensely national in its base now and full of students with different stories and backgrounds. </p>
<p>I think there is more to do in Nashville for independent students on weekends compared to the offerings that were in Durham for (Greek) Duke son’s independent friends. Nashville is a plus. </p>
<p>Vandy son got off to a good start by joining about three things where he can do his thing on campus and meet like minded people. He also attends a lot of events on campus and at the grad schools and in clubs and venues in Nashville. As a rising junior, his interests are shifting towards his future and this is true for many upperclass students who have their eyes on finding summer jobs and internships and work experience, so keep in mind that Greek and non Greek students do move on. </p>
<p>Four years fly by we hope your friend’s girl will love her new world at Vanderbilt and will be happy to be an alum someday. She can get a taxi and shop in Green Hills Mall nearby anytime should she just want to show up and then figure out her wardrobe. </p>
<p>Consider a semester abroad and Maymester offerings as well. Great way to make other friends in a new setting.</p>
<p>I am e-mailing these posts to her so she can read them word-for-word. I appreciate the encouraging and supportive words. She’s a terrific girl with a wonderful personality so I really think she’ll do well there, but she’s nervous, which is making me nervous. Thanks!</p>
<p>On the note that her father “won’t let her” participate in Greek life, I hope that he has done research on the Greek community rather than just basing his opinion off of a stereotype. I too come from the northern area and my parents were less than keen on me joining a sorority, but I would hate to see someone come into Vanderbilt and its wonderful Greek community without an open mind. I am in a so-called “top tier” sorority (that label comes with many stereotypes, both good and bad), and I am so happy I joined despite the initial criticism from my family - and the questions I still occasionally get as to what exactly we “do” besides party. My second semester was completely different (and much better) than my first semester due to my participation in Greek life. I gained a new group of friends while also retaining my first semester group, I became involved in many more activities around campus (the opportunities are endless - we get emails almost every day about things to participate in), and overall just became more comfortable at school. I also loved getting to know upperclassmen that I otherwise likely would not have become as close to. I’m really looking forward to the upcoming school year in my house. If her father will not financially support her Greek dues, please know that many people (although they are in the minority, but still many people) pay for all or some of their dues. I do, and it is completely feasible with a summer job, even though my dues are some of the most expensive of all the sororities.</p>
<p>I know that Greek life isn’t for everyone, but everyone I know at school has had such a great experience with it and it’s such a big part of the culture at Vandy that I thought I would try to give some insight about keeping an open mind despite your parent’s convictions.</p>
<p>I know there are many things about sorority life that would be wonderful for her. She’s very active and loves staying busy and socializing, and she’d love the philanthropy part of it too. It’s not the money—he’s a surgeon—it’s some of the things he’s seen come through the hospital. I don’t think it’s that he wouldn’t pay for it—I think he wouldn’t pay her tuition if she joined so spending her own money to fund it isn’t an option. She has older siblings and some of them were interested in Greek life at their schools and the answer was always a firm ‘No.’ I know those stereotypes are not uniformly true of all Greeks, but they are true for some and I think in their eyes that makes the whole thing too risky. </p>
<p>Another friend’s daughter goes to Emory and went through rush before ultimately deciding that with a double major she didn’t have time for sororities. My friend was against it, but ultimately listened to her daughter who said that the Greek life in the south seems to be about more than hooking up and blackout drinking. I am not keen on the Greek scene up here because I’ve seen it derail too many kids academically and the focus is very much on drinking seven days a week, but if it were up to me I would let her at least go through rush and explore it. Unfortunately it’s not and I don’t think my input would be welcomed. </p>
<p>Thanks for sharing the other side of Greek life!</p>
<p>I actually wouldn’t blame someone for not allowing rushing freshman year. To me, it has nothing to do w/Greek Life itself, it’s merely the rush process. Emory’s Greek scene does not seem overly intense (or hardly intense, despite the fact that 30%+ are in it. And Emory is hardly southern at all), yet rush, in particular, is absolutely brutal especially for sororities. I’ve seen friends go through it and it isn’t pretty, especially for those freshmen in really tough courses like general biology and organic chemistry w/ a hard prof. here. I remember my year where we had an abundance of females doing it and their grades plummeted in organic chemistry and they withdrew before the final (which is hard as all get out, so it’s possible they would have received D/F if they took it w/their progress at that point). It seemed to be no coincidence that those w/drawing were primarily females, and were rushing. This almost never failed (the prof. actually establishes heavy interaction w/students and seems to have crunched the numbers and has noticed that years w/more people rushing have done poorly than others. My year was particularly bad) While withdrawal rate was lower in biology, I’ve seen where my friends stopped coming to class or would show up about 30-40 minutes late in a 75 minute course essentially distraught, putting their stuff down at a desk and then running to this area outside of the auditorium crying. Needless to say, one of the exams during rush went poorly and another toward the end went meh… and the exams were not getting harder. The first exam was actually the hardest, and she did fairly well on it.</p>
<p>So again, it isn’t Greek life itself, it’s the process involved in rushing. They have to really measure if it can handled at the time. It’s ultimately their decision, but if the process is intense here, I’d have to wonder how it is at Vandy. I would expect it to be at least the same intensity for some doing it.</p>
<p>As for the idea of noticing that “everyone I’ve seen in Greek life is happy”, I can essentially claim the same for everyone I know outside of it and honestly, I would be lying if I said that everyone in GL is happy because of the fact that all of the people that I know in GL are happy that’s not fair, now is it. I don’t think Greek Life should be bashed, but I’m not down for changing people’s opinion to push them up to do it based upon the idea that “everyone in it is happy”. Does that imply that there are more unhappy people outside of it and thus, those who join, become happier? I doubt it, if this is true, it is more likely because the sample size outside of it is at least slightly larger. Also, I’m sure that some of those unhappy in GL are as capable of putting on facades as those outside of it.</p>
<p>If you’re an attractive girl, it makes little difference if you are actually in a sorority in terms of how much fun you can have on a Friday night. That being said the vast, vast majority of white girls are greek.</p>
<p>I am wondering if this transfer student is from Columbia College? I know they have a “hipster” vibe. I would think that this young lady will be fine dressing however she dressed in Chicago. I am guessing she didn’t wear sweatpants or pj pants to school last year - these would be out of place at Vandy - but I would bet whatever she wore last year will be fine at Vandy. My D went to school in all kinds of outfits. When she interned, she wore the clothes she wore to work (she interned during school on days she also went to class). When she didn’t intern, she usually wore jeans. She did dress a bit more nicely than her friends at UMich dressed (that is a more casual campus) - but she didn’t dress in designer clothes, carry a designer purse, or anything like that. She never felt out of place.</p>
<p>I can tell this forum is made up mostly of parents. If you all only knew that your little girls were wearing while they were away at college, you would withdraw them from school immediately and enroll them in a convent.</p>
<p>Ha! I have no illusions what girls are wearing, but this question was actually coming from the girl. She said her friends hassle her for dressing too conservatively—i.e. no bare midriff and a reasonable amount of cleavage. I wasn’t trying to dress her because I have no clue where to start!</p>
<p>And Kelsmom, She was at Loyola. After I posted this I went to help her pack. Her room was a sea of clothes. Having only boys, this was a new experience to me. All I know is she took more clothes than all three of my boys put together even own, and she had more stuff left behind in her closet than I have in my entire wardrobe. Whatever she’s supposed to be wearing, she probably already owns it!</p>
<p>My D went to a midwest parochial prep school for high school, and quite a few of her classmates attended Loyola for college. I would say the young lady will be dressed just fine for Vandy - I am sure she has clothes that will work. I hope she likes it!</p>
<p>Thanks, Kelsmom! The clothes have been fine, though she said she needs more cute dresses as the girls wear dresses to class a lot when it’s so hot. But she said she wants to get them at Target. Go figure! I think she’s over her nervousness.</p>
<p>She loves the campus. She’s finding her footing. She’s got a couple of clubs she’s interested in, so she’s meeting people and making some friends. I think she’s going to be fine. She wants me to come for Parent’s weekend, so now I have to figure out something for me to wear! I am guessing my slubby old birkenstocks are not going to cut it! :)</p>
Thanks!</p>