Thanks for taking the time to respond. It’s hard to know how to advise our kids. Such great life experience for them, managing these conversations and navigating this. I would say in general she’s told her top schools that they are “one of” her top choices and indicated she is in conversations with others. She wants to be clear she is extremely interested in them, but not appear desperate either. It’s hard to know when (if ever) is the time, or how far along in the process, to start saying, “You’re my top choice and if offered, I’ll accept”; especially since the process for NESCACS may move into the fall. Really hoping that doesn’t happen, but trying to brace ourselves that it could.
Thanks. Yes, trying to brace ourselves that it could be until fall, but really hoping that is not the case. I’m curious how the timeline plays out in comparison to last year and from sport to sport. She is a fall sport, so maybe as suggested above, that could speed things up a little so coaches aren’t knee-deep in recruiting during their seasons…
Been through it with kid #1, and in process with kid #2.
The good coaches are always recruiting- in or out of season. Witness the time emails are sent.
The bad ones are disorganized and communicate in fits that can be stress inducing. That is in and out of season.
Hopefully you are dealing with the former.
In any case- waiting is never fun, nor is the thought of someone swooping in and taking a spot. This is why sports recruiting for those on the bubble (my kids, not yours) really requires patience and luck. The fever will break, and your D will land and be happy so long as she isn’t completely set on one school.
Aside- you’d be surprised how many kids, after all this angst, play no more than 2 years in college.
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I agree with a lot of what you wrote. I agree, it’s too early to signal a commitment on the student’s part.
Later on, after 7/1, I expect the athlete could say something along the lines of " I’ve had a few offers from other schools, but you are my top choice, do you know what your timing might be for me?"
In my son’s case he had several offers with no deadline, and then got one that expired after a week. My son would have taken that offer if he got no others. He told the coach at the school he ended up committing to that he just got an offer that expired on Wednesday, so could the coach let him know if he was going to make an offer by Tuesday? And the coach did (by Saturday!). (This gives a sense of the musical chairs aspect of recruiting!)
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Makes sense, that’s helpful. D literally just got off the phone with a coach and despite our conversation about not overstating her interest, she told me she told the coach it’s her top choice. Ugh. It is in fact her top choice, but we had discussed her saying it’s one of her top choices. Sigh. D did tell coach that she’s in conversations with other coaches/programs, which she is. Again, hard for a 16 year old (even a bright, articulate one) to navigate this like an adult. This coach in particular is the one who keeps saying “you’re in our top tier” etc. but it’s a very sought after program with a lot of recruiting interest, so we understand this coach is keeping her options open and “top tier” doesn’t necessarily mean too much.
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“Top tier” … does not seem that the level of commitment was reciprocated.
It could- and I hope- all play out as you wish.
But… nothing is for sure. Keep all irons in the fire and don’t fall in love- if it’s not too late.
I agree; top tier is very “vague” though coach already confirmed she is doing pre-read for her. While this school is her top choice (if she had to order them), #2 and #3 are fantastic options she’d be very happy with (and we honestly feel are better options) and she also has a #4 and #5.
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I agree “top tier” sounds like a coach hedging her bets a bit but at the same time it’s very possible she just hadn’t sorted that top tier out yet. Sounds to me like you’re doing the right things which is all you can do. Nice to have several good potential options.
I’d try to ask directly about the timeline at each program if the chance comes up.
I don’t think it’s a major issue that your daughter shared how she feels but I’d just remind her that coaches all know each other really well and talk all the time.
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I agree. This coach has said she’s taking 10-20 through pre-read and confirmed several times D is one of them and in the “Top Tier”- my sense with this coach is that she’s hedging her bets to some degree and considering she told D she is taking 6 players, if I had to guess I’d say D is in top 10 at this point. Obviously, it’s fluid and not set in stone. We are not counting on this one, but feel it still has potential. This is a highly visible coach who is always recruiting.
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I may sound like a broken record, but I don’t think it is harmful for a recruit to demonstrate interest, or for that matter to overstate interest, to a coach. Coaches want kids who want to be there and want to play for them. The downside of a D1 recruit falling into the coach’s lap is that they may think they are settling for second best. The upside of expressing interest is that the coach knows that the recruit wants it, which usually translates into running through a brick wall for the coach.
I experienced this when I was in the position of hiring people. I had my list based on what I thought of the people. But when the process evolved into evaluation, the list did a 360 based on the folks who stayed in contact with me and expressed interest.
The coach does have interest - that much is apparent. Tell your daughter to keep at it but to remember that there are plenty of great schools at which she will be happy.
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Great points, thank you!
where does it stand?
Hard to know…She hasn’t spoken to that particular coach again since phone call a little over a week ago. I do get the sense the coach is actively recruiting a large quantity of athletes for five slots, despite saying D is “top tier” and getting a pre-read…D visited/attended clinics at two other NESCACs this past weekend, and another this coming weekend. D is in active communication with all the coaches. Overall takeaway is there is an unbelievably large turnout of talented athletes at these clinics and I think Covid overall has caused many 2023s to be scrambling for recruiting spots due to the extra year of eligibility for current players.
Trying to not get too attached to any one school, as this process still appears very tenous and I really don’t yet know how things will play out. She has been “promised” pre-reads at 3 NESCACs so far and has a standing offer from a Liberty League school, but two of the NESCACs stand out for her far above the others; one I don’t get a good sense of true interest (the “top tier” coach) and one who appears extremely interested and has said she’d support D through admissions, but trying hard to manage D’s (and our!) investment and excitement in this school because we still have 2 months until 7/1…
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Reading the tea leaves, I would say your daughter will be just fine, with several offers so she will have a good choice.
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Your D is in a great spot! She is going to end up just fine.
You are doing ALL of the right things! Except for worrying too much…
The two of you have put your D in a great spot- just be patient and let the chips fall. All outcomes will be great.
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Thank you, I hope you’re right! I will worry until she is offered a supported spot officially and then worry until the college acceptance email is received! I do not verbalize my worry to D. I just hope she ends up being offered at one of her top choices. She is lucky to have several decent options, but there is clear preference for two of the schools…I wish the NESCACs didn’t do the pre-reads so late; not only is the waiting incredibly stressful, it just leaves them so much time to change their minds as well.
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@Crosbylane you could actually choose not to worry 
. Seriously that is a choice.
I was anxious at this stage too, but once my son got his offer, and it was confirmed by the college counselor, I did not worry at all. It made for a more pleasant Fall.
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I don’t think that NESCAC school do their pre-reads late. For many years, kids applied to college as seniors, and didn’t know where they were going till spring. Even football players didn’t know until Feb (or later). It is the other schools that have moved up the pre-reads, the commitments, etc.
If the NESCC schools moved up the review date to say March 1, they’d be reviewing sophomore grades and half of junior year, only half of other participation in clubs and honors classes (including coaches only reviewing stats for 2 years of the spring sport kids), maybe test scores/maybe TO). It just wouldn’t be a good pre-read if it was conditioned on junior and senior grades, on test scores still to come in. A coach may not be ready to even make the pre-read requests until July 1 as they may have some superstars who are still waiting for high test scores and to inch their gpa up a few spots.
At most D1 schools (not all, but most) the standards are lower so a kid with a 3.5 is going to be accepted with a coach’s slot even if that gpa falls to a 3.2, but not so at some of the NESCAC schools.
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@Crosbylane, don’t worry about worrying. You are going to worry, so just go ahead and do it. Worrying about worrying (i.e., trying not to worry) just adds to the worry.
The good news is that you will have some sense of where all of this is going before non-athlete applicants. Never take that for granted.
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Quick question related to this topic- what have your kids’ experiences been in terms of hearing from coaches after ID clinics; specifically, at this point in the recruiting timeline ( heading toward end of junior year), and they’re a “top recruit/prospect” (yes, we know that’s vague and potentially meaningless)? How soon after did they hear some kind of follow-up from the coach? D’s habit is emailing the coaches the day after the clinic thanking them. There seems to be a lot of variability in terms of when she hears back (not that the emails require answers, per se, but I would think a coach who really wants a recruit would quickly respond anyways to the “thank you” email). In others’ experiences, even if coach is significantly interested, can it take awhile for coach to connect with recruit after an ID clinic?