Long story short, I’m in my senior year and have never had a boyfriend. I’ve gone on one sort-of date, but I thought we were just friends and he just wanted a hook up. Being single has never really bothered me because most of my friends were also single. But now, nearly all of them have boyfriends or will have one very soon.
All of my friends always talk about boys and of course I feel left out. I try to be happy and supportive for them, but I guess I’m a crappy friend because I’m always jealous of their relationships. I’m beginning to feel worthless and insecure.
I’m introverted, but I wouldn’t say I’m shy. Although I get nervous, I have no issue starting conversations with boys. No one I’ve liked has ever returned the interest. Just this week, I was waiting after class to talk to a boy from my English class who I liked and had talked to once before. He looked at me, we made eye contact, and I tried to flash him a smile just before he literally ran away. Like actually sprinted down the hallway.
I just don’t understand. Am I intimidating or unattractive? Is something wrong with me?
And how can I be a better friend and happier for all my friends in relationships?
Remember these boys are nervous too and most boys are not as mature as girls.
You could always ask a boy to prom or something else. Most boys would be pleased and relieved that a girl was asking them out.
Neither of my Ds really dated in HS (one had a couple dates before they could drive, but she broke up with him after two dates). One dated for the first time as a college frosh, and ended up dating 2 different people by the time she got out of college. She is now in grad school, and not very interested in dating.
The other met a guy at college, started dating spring of freshman year, and married him this year (10 years later!).
You aren’t “late”. You are fine. You’ll meet people in college. Don’t feel jealous of your friends. Few of those relationships will last.
While you may be in the minority not having or had a boyfriend, you are not alone. I’m sure there are many others like you! My son is a senior and never had a girlfriend. My daughter’s boyfriend who she started dating when he was a senior had never had a girlfriend. Although boyfriends and girlfriends are common, as you see, I don’t know that its super unusual not to have had one in high school. It’s not you! Nothing is wrong with you!
That boy…I bet he felt the same as you. Shy, nervous. Girls can be intimidating. I remember way back in my high school years, the very smart girls often never had a boyfriend…it was if guys were afraid or thought they would never stack up.
Chances are if all of your friends have boyfriends you are hearing some of the drama and unhappiness that comes along with it, as well as the good times. Maybe you could remember those problems when you start to feel jealous. And chances are, the situation that all of them have boyfriends will probably change soon. Many high school relationships are pretty short lived, although some don’t, many do.
You are not intimidating or unattractive, and there is nothing wrong with you. It’s still just high school after all, don’t worry!! Stay true to the things and people you love and always keep an open heart and ear!
My sister is 25 and she has never dated. I am 19 and I am the same. I assume it is because we don’t have a dad and our mum raised us on her own. Such a ‘superwoman’ image is really ingrained in my head. Not sure what your story is though.
Nonetheless, you set your own priorities. If it’s a relationship, you focus on finding a boyfriend. It it’s your school, you focus on homeworks and academic stuff. As long as you are happy, not having a bf/gf shouldn’t bother you. ;->
There are lots of kids that don’t date in high school. Some of the nicest kids, in fact. And a lot of nice boys are introverted.
Also, I think dating in HS is somewhat regional - occurs more in some parts of the country than others. In some places, HS kids barely date and just go as friends to proms, or with a group of friends.
Also, it’s much better to not have dating experience, than to have had a bad dating experience due to the partner being controlling etc. I had friends in HS with that situation; and I hear of it now too.
Focus on making friends with some boys that are nice. Maybe through a club or activity. Then things could evolve from a healthy friendship, which is often the best way. If it doesn’t work in HS, then it will in college. Don’t worry - you will date when the time is right!
My D never did as much as hold a boy’s hand in high school. Her friend group consisted of about 8 girls, and through high school, only 2 even had a date for prom. Fast forward to junior year of college: D is in a committed relationship with a fellow student, and many of her friends have had boyfriends, or dates, or whatever. It will happen.
