<p>Ivyalum, thanks for your suggestions. Perhaps you didn't carefully read my details. I may have not been too clear in my post, but I did give precise wording about reports, meds, doctors, etc. I didn't feel the need to go into great detail, as my concern is whether to disclose the disability or not, not the type and the details. As the saying goes, "been there, done that."</p>
<p>I did say, he was diagnosed in his freshman yr with ADD, not ADHD (he has inattentive, not hyperactive). This was not a guess done by the school or prompted by any "behavior." It was a real Diagnosis by a team of doctors, at one of the leading research hospitals in the country, because of his inability to concentrate, his sleepiness, and forgetfulness that we saw at home, and how he struggled with homework. It was not a school evaluation, but rather, an expensive psych practice and had the full battery of tests, 2 days worth, and costing several thousands of dollars. We took the report to the school. They are not required to do any of the recommendations outlined in the report, as I said, because it is private. He has been seeing a Ph.D. therapist (we changed to a second one last year) and is on his third psychiatrist- an expensive specialist now (not covered by insurance, just as ALL of this has not been), who we switched to thankfully just prior to the spring meltdown. Things could have been worse, but it certainly didn't go unnoticed... as my daughter said about her brother "there's no chance that anyone in the whole school didn't hear how my 6'3" 280 lb brother fell out of his chair in class and started having seizures, and was carried out on a stretcher to an ambulance while all the girls stood watching and crying."
This summer we did a whole new psych assessment, by a new psychologist. and it came up with the very same results as the first. Each of his 3 psychiatrists has done a whole slew of tests, medical not just psychological. He has had overnight sleep tests even for narcolepsy and apnea. He has been evaluated for epilepsy. He has had probably 8 EEGs. He was hospitalized as I said, because of his meds only -- nothing else-- he had severe and long lasting side effects from lingering drugs and the innapropriate mixing of drug presriptions by Dr. #2 who we fired because of it. (My husband threatened to sue-- dr#2 said my S was depressed, not ADD). After all this testing, he still only has ADD, like the first evaluation said. He lacks the executive functioning skills, has slow handwriting, and has slow something speed, or something another. He has long been characterized by his friends, schoolmates and siblings as "the absent-minded professor." He has an off-the chart IQ, A+ grades in AP/honors classes except for the nagging missing homework assignments, and nearly perfect scores (800, 790, 780 on his first SAT try). His teachers say he is one of, if not the, smartest student they've ever had.</p>
<p>As I said, when most schools see high scores and a lower GPA, they think the kid must be lazy and/or uninterested in learning. Our school gives no support as to academic counseling, nor notes or outlines provided, no allowing for keyboarding or recording devices, etc. They will only give extra time on tests. The college counselor thinks my S should apply to what I would categorize as not very selective -- the places that the "slacker" or not very bright kids go, because of his "low GPA". Classmates with higher GPAs think he's the smartest in the class and should go to MIT, CalTech, Stanford, or Ivy. He's also Varsity football and track since 10th gr, and a lead in the school play the last 2 yrs also, captain of the FIRST robotics team this coming yr, and the only kid in his entire school entering the Westinghouse competition. Does this sound like a kid who should go to an "average" college? My point is: disclosing would explain the missing homeworks, the hospital, and show the AdCom he has a lot to offer, but in his unique way, and they could see past his troubles and consider him an asset to their program. Not disclosing leaves too many holes, unanswered questions.</p>
<p>Ivyalum, I agree that schools are looking for character and potential. I honestly think my S has that in spades. Unfortunately I don't think we have too much support from the college counselor, but hopefully teacher recs will make up for that a little. The problem is he doesn't have an upward trend in his grades: it is stagnant because my S hasn't found the right "help," balance or "solution." He is having the same problems he had 2 yrs ago. The only difference now is we understand why now, and he has a label.
He's not "past" this yet, we are still very much in the middle of it. I have no idea how this year will be, he could crash and burn again, or he could finally get relief, and become independent enough to go away to school. Maybe then I won't have to remind him to brush his teeth...</p>
<p>AnonyMom, thanks for the kind thoughts too. There are soooo many days I want to just shake the teachers and say "Hey, haven't you READ my son's report??!!!???" We have tried every conceivable organizational trick, even hired an organizational coach. The problem is he FORGETS to even have the teachers look at his usually blank planner! (He thinks he can just commit everything to memory!) And when they do sign off on it, they are often in a hurry, and don't look to see if he really is current or has the correct assignment (the purpose of their initialing!)</p>