@murray93 that may be. I’m so introverted in general (and have severe anxiety) that I pretty much keep to myself anyway. No, I’ve never been, but my husband has been a dozen times and he knows me better than anyone else in the world, and he’s never warned me to steel myself for any new place before now. If I’m pleasantly surprised, rad. If not, I’m prepared to just get through it. I don’t see how pretending to be excited helps anything.
And look, I get it. I’m from Philly. Over the years I’ve heard many people who hate the city, never want to go there, think it’s the absolute worst in every way. For me personally, I can’t understand that because I see so many great things there, but I always allow that it’s just their opinion and they’re entitled to it. Sorry if my feelings on this have offended anyone from that area… it wasn’t my intent.
@murray93 I am not fearful of coming into contact with anyone. I’ve come into contact with racism and homophobia everywhere we’ve lived, and I expect there is some of it everywhere. It isn’t the people that I am dreading, it is the place. From the the heat and humidity, to the hurricanes, to the bugs, to the apparent mold that we will deal with. Then there is the distance to everyone/everything I’ve ever liked or loved… And the lack of anything that I personally find comforting to look forward to during a move. It’s all a bit much for me right now. We have 2 1/2 months before we have to move… a move that has completely trashed my daughter’s graduation plans, by the way… And I’m sure all reconciled to it all a little better before then. Right now I’m just not ready to be feeling it yet.
I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to have so little control over something as major as where you live, and to be so much at the mercy of decisions made by an organization not considering your wishes. @milgymfam I for one am rooting for you and wish you a transition as smooth as it can be given the circumstances! Once you hit town, give me a shout and I’d love to treat you to a Welcome meal at Bearcat Cafe…one of my favorite restaurants in the city that just happens to meet your dietary requirements, is not seafood focused, and we’ll ask them to hold the jazz for our visit!! 
@pishicaca, thank you! That is very kind!
We moved 9 times in our marriage. One of those moves totally sucked for me. I hated EVERYTHING about it and it was the only place we ever lived that I made zero connections with anyone. It was isolating and terrible.
Here’s what kept me sane - we travelled more! Almost every weekend we would get in the car and drive somewhere new to explore.
I don’t know that area at all but maybe people could make some suggestions of places to check out. I did a quick google search and this popped up: https://www.10best.com/destinations/louisiana/new-orleans/articles/10-awesome-places-to-visit-within-an-easy-drive-of-new-orleans/
Looks like some beautiful options that would get you out of the city and potential have a fun outing. Those kinds of things help keep me excited and inspired.
Hopefully this move will exceed your expectations but at least you are mentally preparing.
If you’re a liberal athiest, you will fit in MUCH better in the city itself than on the Northshore. Since you don’t want a commute, that’s a plus. I don’t live in the city so don’t know neighborhoods as well as some other people. I do have friends who live in Algiers Point–it’s probably worth looking at for your location requirements.
Hurricanes come with plenty of warning–you can evacuate, and if it’s a bad one that will be strongly encouraged. Bugs can be awful, I’ll give you that.
I looked over that list of places to visit. Based on what you’ve said here, I would recommend Whitney Plantation over any others. Told from the perspective of enslaved people and an INCREDIBLY moving experience. Other plantation tours can be cringeworthy at times.
The food is not all fried by any means. Rich cream based sauces are more of a thing than frying everything. But there’s a lot of good Vietnamese food, and in the past several years lots of new places popping up doing all kinds of that aren’t traditional NO food at all. Old timers complain a lot about hipsters these days 
Gluten free will be a challenge I’m sure, but that’s not unusual. But I do see more restaurants indicationg GF items, Vegetarian/Vegan, etc., than they used to.
There are a ton of cool museums and art galleries, music of all kinds, and a wide variety of food. It’s hot as hell, the infrastucture is terrible, and there are bugs. So a mixed bag for sure.
I’m from Louisiana, love NO. My athiest/agnositc nonbinary kid is in school there and may not ever leave. I’m coming from the perspective of living in a more conservative part of the state, but the idea of NO as homophobic is almost amusing to me. Which is not to say that there aren’t folks in NO who are homophobic, but overall the city is very gay-friendly. More so than many other places. Now, if you’re out in the suburbs, things are likely different.
Not everyone loves everywhere, and you may not ever like it all that much, but I hope you can find some things to enjoy while you’re there. Good luck.
You’ll be moving right when the weather is getting hot. That’s too bad, but just keep the faith and know that winter will be wonderful!
As for food - the bar is high here. You don’t have to eat the local specialties for it to be really, really, good. Some of our favorites are Saint Germaine (they only sit 4 people per hour, lol), Galaxie and Barracuda (taco places), and the aforementioned Bearcat (ourD’s rehearsal dinner was there). We also love Maypop, which is a fusion of Vietnamese and New Orleans styles of cooking. Just sublime. There are many more.
You’ll be fine once you find your people and your favorite places. That always takes a bit of time after moving.
I wonder whether some of your anxiety stems from the fact that it’s so many transitions at once. Your youngest is graduating and leaving home, and you can’t even enjoy the last few months with her because of the move. Having been a SAHM homeschooler, that must be even more wrenching, because not only are you probably closer with your Ds than most, but you are losing two roles at the same time - the mom one and the schooling one. Are you planning to go back to work? Planning how to go about it may help mitigate your anxiety about making connections and finding a tribe.
Since you feel the area to be so culturally alienating, maybe it would help to think of it as a deployment in a foreign country, only with lots of silver linings - you won’t have to worry about health care or vaccinations, there will be no IEDs, you don’t have to worry about your kids’ education and the natives are mostly friendly.
Maybe there are compromises to be made about housing. Can you initially move into base housing and search from there? Can you move into the smallest place possible that’s both commutable and safe and find a weekend lakefront or beachfront cabin to escape to from the city, the heat and the crowds? Is there nothing about being in a warm climate and close to the sea that appeals to you? (She asks, shivering by the radiator, a days drive away from really cold water…)
@tigerle you are right, this will be a very different move for us. Right now we are super close to my D19 at college. She can take a bus home round trip for $25 and be here in three hours or so. My D20 is graduating and my role as teacher is poofing too, and I honestly haven’t spent as much time thinking about that/adjusting to it as I should. She is planning a gap year (though semi-rethinking that because she wants to go even less than me. She’s phobic of bugs and doesn’t handle heat well), but I’ll still be playing taxi all day everyday for dance stuff, and I won’t be going back to work until she’s away at college. My husband just started an accelerant masters program and will be very preoccupied for the next year- he already works 60+ hours a week, so I won’t see him much. We have talked and are considering either off-base housing in federal city the first year (have to sign a year lease) or a short term rental/Airbnb to get the lay of the land. I asked my husband if he was willing to commute from Biloxi so we could be near the ocean and he wasn’t feeling that one. Lol. I love the water, so I do hope it’s a smoother drive to the ocean than we’ve had in the past.
@Tigerle wrote: “I wonder whether some of your anxiety stems from…so many transitions at once.”
In addition to multiple changes, you are losing control.
Control over your daily life & control over your last homeschooled child. And, regardless of the many justifications and rationalizations, homeschooling is largely about control. (Please do not misinterpret that as a negative as it is not intended to be a negative comment. Just an observation.)
The beach in Biloxi isn’t that great. The water is pretty brown all the way through MIssissippi because of the river. The Alabama coast and Florida panhandle have some gorgeous beaches. And there are some nice things on the MS coast–just not super beaches. And there are tons of casinos all along much of the beach now, which arne’t my thing at all. Ocean Springs is a cute little town that I’ve only stopped in briefly, but I hear it’s a nice weekend getaway. Ship Island, off the MS coast, is a fun day trip and the beach is nicer being farther out. You take the ferry out there from Gulfport. I lived in a beach town for a year and need to get my fix every now and then. When we don’t have time to trek to Pensacola, Ship Island can do the trick.
You may find some nice spots you like to hand out along Lake Ponchartrain, which is large enough that you can’t see across–so there’s that 
Bear in mind that the city is cracking down on Airbnb’s and from what I understand some are being shut down. You’d be renting one for longer, which isn’t the sort of thing that spurs the crackdown, but if a particular property gets shut down, you could still be stuck. Locals can probably give you better advice about that.
You might have luck finding a summer sublet–colleges here finish up in mid-May so students and/or faculty who are leaving for the summer would be doing so shortly after your arrival, it sounds like.
@1or2Musicians thanks for the tips. I was being tongue in cheek about MS living. I have an uncle in Gulfport but he’s never mentioned the beach that I recall, so I wasn’t expecting much. There are a fair amount of people on the local military page down there that talk about the Mississippi beaches though, so I know people do go to them. I’ve been told I must drive across that bridge, so it’s on the list. I also heard that gas is really cheap, so there’s that too!
Student housing/summer sublets is probably not the most desirable housing. I used to rate my DS’s houses by the “could I live here?” criteria. In a few cases (especially the first one) the answer was a definite NO.
I agree with 1or2musicians about the beaches. Ocean Springs is really charming. They have an arts festival every year named for Peter Anderson, the founder of Shearwater pottery. Walter Anderson is also represented with an art museum in the town, and Biloxi has a museum dedicated to its “mad potter”, George Ohr, housed in a Frank Gehry building.
Ship Island is part of Gulf Islands National Seashore and has ferry service. You can easily rent chairs and umbrellas there and there is food and showers. It’s 13 miles or so offshore and we always see dolphins and many birds on the way. The water on the ocean side is crystal clear and pale green. The other islands in the park do not have ferry service or facilities. A big piece of the park is on the Pensacola peninsula in FL. When I was there we went to the beach just before the park entrance. It was mid April so it was easy to park in the municipal lot and the water was tolerable for me, and completely delightful to my northern guests.
Oh, most undergrad apartments probably wouldn’t work for sure. But possibly a nice civilized grad student or faculty going on sabbatical…
I just love Pensacola Beach. The national seashore is on both sides of the town, so there’s lots of place to get away from people even at busy times of year. Last time I went was in late September and it was amazingly non-crowded. We are just starting to enjoy vacations not scheduled around school holidays–which the OP will be able to do as well.
How are Houston and Galveston Island coming along after the hurricane? That’s only about a 5 hr drive. DH & S19 drove out to see Rice and loved it… but this was right before the hurricane, so I don’t know if the island is still rebuilding.
@milgymfam , just a shot in the dark, but since you love the water, one housing option may be to look south from Belle Chasse to various fishing communities like Lafitte. You could have a place on the water with a boat that will have you fishing or boat riding in the inland waters within minutes and offshore into the Gulf for longer fishing trips. Probably some closer than Lafitte as well. Venetian Isles is also about 30 minutes from Federal City. It’s a subdivision with houses directly on canals/bayous leading into Lake Borgne and the Gulf. None of these places are super expensive, and you may find rentals.
It’s been a LONG time but I’m circling back to this thread. We will actually, finally, be moving to New Orleans this summer. Not as cranky about it as I was in the past, to be honest, but I’m glad we went to Minnesota and New Mexico first.
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Will look forward to your pictures from LA
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