Hello all. I am a parent to 3 children - the oldest DD is a high school junior.
I stumbled upon CC rather late I realize. I was amazed at what I found! What a wonderful wealth of information and support. It has literally changed us. I am so appreciative of the information and the time that regular posters have committed to helping people like us to navigate this new world. Now we are at a loss of how to proceed in our college search.
We quickly realized that according to CC we could be considered “lazy parents” who have done many, many things wrong - and our above average, happy DD is probably in trouble in terms of a future (this is mainly tongue in cheek - but also filled with some genuine anxiety). We have encouraged our children to do their best academically but we have not “managed” their school careers -until finding CC, I had no idea of her GPA or rank (DD has a weighted GPA of 4.56 and unweighted of 3.91 – she is NOT in the top 10% of her suburban school - she is in the top 13% currently - all seminar/honors level with 5 APs by the end of this year). We are thrilled with her academic achievements and are proud of her work - until reading here that IF WE had pushed her or helped her more she would have that coveted top 5-10%. All 3 kids are active in ECs that they enjoy but have not specialized - they have not been to any summer institutes, started any clubs, had any tutors or private coaches. We have saved $ and live very financially conservatively. Otherwise we have not thought too much about college – it was “in the future”.
We thought we were middle class (although reading here we realize that is not so) - 2 working parents with advanced degrees - Southeastern, suburban, Pennsylvania - 3 kids - about $150K a year. We don’t feel “upper middle class” or rich but we do realize that we are fortunate (and hard working, and very frugal with $) DD understands economics well and we have shared everything with her - she has approximately $35K a year to put towards school without federal loans (so could go up by 5,500) - we are fairly certain we will not qualify for any need based aid and have shared that with her as well. We are a little flexible with our yearly contribution and can increase with yearly increases in tuition - but not very willing to start much higher than this $ - with 2 more kids at home.
After taking the PSATs DD decided to sign up and take the December SAT cold, with no prep, to establish a baseline – reading here we learned that this was a HUGE mistake. Way back when we took the SAT, her father and I showed up one date in the fall of our senior year(no tutors, books, practice, etc) and that was good enough for everyone that we knew. We were a little worried that she was pushing it by taking her to a junior year test but we also heard they were changing and thought “why not try the old one”. Oh boy - we had (and still have) a lot to learn. So, she ended with a 1890 - low writing score - she felt it was pretty easy but her timing was off and she did not finish several early sections. She wished she had taken a watch. We thought it was a great first try and gave good information on what to study. We found CC after seeing the scores and trying to see how they ranked (found out…not very good) and what resources she could use to work on getting from the mid 600’s to the mid 700’s. She is signed up for January test and then will switch to the ACT if necessary (I have never even heard of the ACT until CC).
ECs: model UN, music groups (voice and previously instrumental) theater (musicals, improv, and plays), girls scouts, church. She is very busy with studies and activities. She loves to travel (has been across the country, to Canada, and Europe), hike, loves history and world cultures. We have no idea how others are doing so much more - there are only so many hours in a day.
We are lost and now feel late to the game. She is confused and doesn’t know what she wants. LAC or University? Small or large? City or suburb or rural? She does know she would like 2-6 hours from home (*except for a wild card of University of Alabama which has caught her attention??). She does not know what she wants to major in - but thinks she is interested in biology, business, or political science. She likes research and sciences. She does not want to go into teaching, nursing, human services (she says she does not have the patience). She loves history and art but can not imagine any career path (like music & theater the practical side of her realizes that these are hobbies that enrich her life but can not see herself in a career of these things).
We have taken her to see some campuses very near home (not interested but they were easy to visit). We took her across the state to see Pittsburgh and CMU (before we saw her low SATs). She LOVED Pitt. CMU - not at all (good thing). She toured a top, well regarded LAC in the state (2,600 students) and she LOVED it as well but realized the cost was out of reach without the highest scholarship (longshot or hail mary). She will not look at Penn State (?she says too many people go there and wants to be “different”, is worried it’s too big and in the middle of nowhere - also very expensive for a state flagship). She thinks she will like and thrive at a LAC with smaller classes and better chance to find her place quickly – but is drawn to the opportunities and “feel” of the larger universities, especially without knowing her path yet. We have no idea where Alabama fits with all of this but she seems very interested in visiting - but knows no one who has ever attended ???
Where do we go from here? Any advice is appreciated. Anyone have an undecided student who is only above average but not a shining star? Is there still time to get ourselves on the right college track?
