Our high school requires all seniors to learn CPR. I think it’s a great idea.
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My son’s high school offered, but didn’t require it. I made sure he took the class.
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My grandmother was one of the lucky few who survived thanks to field CPR. She went into cardiac arrest on a flight in her early 70s. She was sitting next to a cardiac care unit nurse. The nurse did compressions on her in the aisle of the plane for 45 minutes until they were able to land and meet an ambulance on the runway at O’Hare. She bounced back and had several more good years with a sharp mind before dying (peacefully, in home hospice) of congestive heart failure at 80.
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Anyone in the college counseling field has seen families that react this way when we tell them that the kid has no chance at Stanford. It makes sense that some are unable/unwilling to face the truth in the infinitely tougher challenge of accepting a death. I can’t imagine how hard this is on a medical staff.
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The day that my mom was moved from Assisted Living to the Nursing Home, a nurse asked my brother and I what would we want done if she goes into cardiac arrest. Mom was 88 at the time and her dementia was pretty severe. I said to do nothing. My brother got upset and claimed that I wanted her to die. I pulled him out into the hallway and said “today Mom is better than she will be on any day for the rest of her life. She will never get any better.” He told me to do what I wanted. Fortunately, my wonderful cousin who is an RN stopped by and I had her talk to him. She told him that CPR was violent and undoubtably some of her ribs would break piercing her heart or lungs. Then what would he want done?
2 years later when we were together preplanning her funeral, he told me that I was right. He said that he had no clue that she would get to where she was.
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I wear a medical bracelet that says that I am Hard of Hearing. In an emergency I would not hear questions if my hearing aids were out. I also have DNR on it. My Dr. D and Dr. H both say no one would honor that if I were to have a serious event. Saying that I would have a DNR notice on my refrigerator or with my medical hospital is not going to help if I am traveling or not home. I wonder if I should tattoo it on myself?
My LEO/EMT son knows, and has used sign language. I’ll ask him about your concerns.
By the time you become terminally I’ll, you might not have the presence of mind to create a DNR.
We created DNRs and health care proxies as part of of our estate planning in our early 50s. The documents are in our fire proof safe, and our kids have the combination.
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I have provisions spelled out in my living will and health care proxy in case I lose capacity before I’m able to execute a DNR, but currently at a healthy 53, I would want CPR if the situation warranted it and would not want a DNR at this time.
I’ve had a heath care proxy, POA, and living will since I was 23 years old, when I did my first will. Our D has all the documents as well.
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After my mom’s last COPD-related hospitalization, the visiting nurses talked to her about DNR orders and the fact that a simple bracelet wouldn’t suffice if EMTs ever came to the house. But she just doesn’t like the idea of a DNR just always handing on the door or the fridge, or wherever she hast to look at it all day. I can’t really blame her but I do think it’s important, especially after reading this article. I think I’ll push harder for her to do it.
This is a famous essay about end of life care, including CPR:
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If you or a loved one want a DNR in whatever circumstances, do not do what my MIL did this week and wait until the last possible second to finally sign one. It’s been hell on my DH and his sister trying to get that arranged while MIL is doped up on pain meds in the hospital. My DH has been bugging his mom about a healthcare directive for 10 YEARS and not until she could barely speak because she was out of it would she consider making a decision one way or another.
For somebody in my MIL’s condition, honestly, CPR would be a waste of time. But for somebody different? It could save their life.
But if you don’t want certain things done, then suck it up and put the paperwork together.
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Agreed. But glad the one for your family was finally signed! I facilitated paperwork for my elderly mom, and was very unpopular with my siblings for doing so. “What’s the rush?” Uh, age 88? As the end came near, having had those discussions years before was very helpful.
If having those discussions with family, here is a resource- The Conversation Project - Have You Had The Conversation?
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Thank you for this!
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