Hello everyone, I have been reading the forum discussions for a bit, but this is my first time posting. I am a parent of an 8th grader and I am starting to think ( and freak out! ) about this entire college admissions process. I do not want to reflect my overwhelming feeling to my child, so I am doing reading on my own and starting research. Would you share what advice you have for a parent like me where do I start and what do I even do (if anything ) now at this age. I am very appreciative of any and every piece of advice you have to share with me. Thank you!
Nothing! LOL let your kid enjoy high school! This site can make you crazy! Every kid is different. Just know there’s a college for everyone - not everyone needs to go to an Ivy to be a success! Know your kid and don’t be obsessed with college now!
Honestly, other than saving $ and looking at costs, I would say do nothing about college. It’s way too early.
The only exception to that is to know that selective colleges want to see 4 years of core course in HS - english, math, science, history, and foreign language. These courses should be prioritized before electives.
Many kids only look at their graduation requirements instead of what colleges want to see. There are a plethora of kids who dropped foreign language after level II, who are now really out of the running for a number of schools.
If your child can track to reach calculus by senior year, that’s great.
For science, the priorities are a class in bio, chem, physics, and then one of those at an AP level.
As a total aside, I do alumni interviewing for my alma mater. When my D was in middle school I remember coming home from interviews thinking that there was not a chance that D would be competitive for any selective college because I kept meeting with all these students doing amazing things in HS and couldn’t possibly envision how that could be her in a few years.
Looking back on the process now (my D is in her 3rd semester of college), there is a ton of growing that happens in high school between 9th and 12th grade. It’s impossible to predict what that will look like from middle school. So many opportunities that come from maturation really do suddenly present themselves, and happen very organically based on interests and strengths.
I would also encourage you to remember that there are thousands of universities and colleges out there where your child will get a great education, not just schools with sub 10% acceptance rates. That shouldn’t be the goal of high school.
Echoing the chill for now sentiment. In about a year, I’d suggest reading the book “Colleges That Change Lives” which is a great read about the types of cool schools that exist outside of the super-selective.
- Soon your child will be picking classes for HS. So now, go on the HS website and look for the Student Handbook that lists the courses and course tracks.
You know your kid…are they very academically oriented? or Doing pretty good?
If academically oriented you want to make sure they get through Calculus by senior year…If your child is taking algebra now, then they are on track for that. If they aren’t, and you think they will do well academically, then look to when they could double up on math (usually Geometry and Alg2). If they aren’t as academically inclined, they should get through Pre-calc to be ready for college.
Also for science they should take Bio, Chem, physics and then an AP Science. Otherwise make sure they get Bio, Chem, physics at least.
I say this because I know people whose kids are juniors, realize they won’t get to calculus, but can’t go back to sophomore year to double up on math.
Have your kid take the most challenging courses they can take (challenging for them…for some kids this is Honors, some AP, some college prep). Do realize that they may be stronger in some subjects. They can always drop down off an honors track but it is difficult to move up to one.
Encourage your kid to read read read for fun. This will help with SAT/ACT reading skills.
Encourage your child to join various clubs/activities/sports/ volunteering opportunities and try things out freshman year.
Agree generally with the chill for now and save as much as you can. I would add that some kids are ready for a discussion of their college goals - top 20, top 50, State U, or other - and others are not. If you student is highly motivated and has a realistic shot at the top schools, you want to pick high school classes with that goal in mind. What do the top students at your HS take? What is needed for the GC to meet the “most challenging” curriculum? What kinds of ECs does he/she enjoy? Is there an opportunity to participate in the EC on a wider stage? If there are no ECs now, have your child get involved in something for HS.
That being said, you also have to be realistic and set the bar high enough to be a reach, but not so high that it is unattainable. A kid that is a B student with mediocre test scores will get into good schools, but not likely to be a viable candidate for a super elite college. Let them find their way at the appropriate level of challenge.
There are so many great colleges out there, it does not have to be a super elite.
Agree with all the above posts. Be aware of the college requirements people have discussed above and keep your kid on track but don’t let them make every decision in high school based on what they think colleges want to see. Encourage them to explore clubs and activities and find what interests him/her. There is no rush to pick a major, specialize in any activity, etc. at this point. I would encourage them to enjoy high school and not just make it a stepping stone to college.
I saw a lot of kids in my D’s class get their heart set early on one particular college or path and then be disappointed when that didn’t work out for them. My D felt pressure from counselors and teachers starting in middle school to decide a college major. Since she didn’t know, she felt she was behind the curve and it caused her a lot of stress. We constantly told her it was ridiculous to think a 14 year old should have to know what she wanted to do with her life. She’s a freshman now and the vast majority of her classmates have already changed majors, some multiple times.
I am a big believer in the idea that it simply all works out for most kids and stressing out too early is not helpful. Being aware is great, but being obsessed is not.
You don’t have to do a lot at this point. Do familiarize yourself with your high school’s offerings and rules. How will they determine class placements next year? You want your child in appropriate placements where they will succeed. You want them challenged, but not overwhelmed. What will be appropriate will depend on what sort of child you have. Do they get straight A’s and score in the top 5% of standardizing testing? Are they a slacker, but will step up to the plate if nudged? Do they struggle in one area? What sort of a high school curriculum and activity level will vary by child.
I do encourage that every kid do at least two extra curricular activities in school even if they are also active outside school freshman year. It’s a way for teachers to get to know them outside the classroom.
Keep up with family time! This is so important once the kids start idolizing rock stars, pro athletes, and their friends.
Museums, hiking, aquarium visits, historic sites; cleaning out Grandma’s garage or raking leaves for an elderly aunt who isn’t as spry as she used to be. Taking a young cousin to the playground, showing a younger sibling how to do card tricks.
Don’t let popular culture overwhelm your household.
And get a grip on your finances. The time to realize you are overpaying for your health insurance (two wage earners, both paying for the gold plated plan) is NOW. The time to realize that you have over-insured your beater car with 150K miles on it is NOW. You haven’t made a contribution to your retirement fund in 2019-- you can still do it, do it NOW.
Finances become nightmarish senior year of HS if you’ve sort of let things run on auto-pilot figuring “if the house hasn’t been repossessed, we’re doing OK”. I know people like that; it’s all fine until they stare at their kids college savings account with the $150 dollars in it which grew from the $50 Aunt Matilda contributed when they were born.
Figure out what you can afford. You don’t need to discuss this with your child quite yet, but this needs to be discussed at the beginning of your college search.
Keep track of all activities your child participates in and any awards they receive. That will give you a list to refer to in the future when you are looking at college and scholarship applications.
Starting at 13-14 yrs old w/ a Big Future acct and looking at USNews lists of schools worked for my current college FY. His little brother is now in 6th grade and we were doing the same things and he’s just not ready. It’s fine… we’re focusing on work ethic, organizational skills, and overall getting used to be a serious student.
I would also encourage teaching your child good organizational and time management skills. We worked w/ our eldest on these in middle school and added as needed in high school. He said other than his ability to read quickly, these two skills have been the most important to not only him doing well academically but his emotional health! He watched friends this past semester in his words “losing their S___!!” He says it’s not always enough to be brainy and able to grind out workload. If you don’t have good time management and organizational skills, you’re more likely going to cause yourself undo stress.
Echoing the financial part here. Pick a few random places (your Alma Mater, your kid’s other parent’s Alma Mater, the community college around the corner, the Big State U, a Fantasy Admission), and run the Net Price Calculators at their websites. Figure in 5% to 7% increase in Cost of Attendance each year, and make your own best estimate of affordability. Be warned that this task may result in a need for Adult Beverages and/or Very Soft Tissues. When you know how ugly (or un-ugly) the money issues are, everything else will be easy. 
Lots of knowledgeable folks in the Financial Aid Forum can help you out if money is an issue.
Know your kid. Mine was never, ever, ever going to be a good tester. So on PSAT day she took the morning off from school and we did fun stuff. The only standardized exams she did take were AP English Lit, and the Spanish CLEP.
Watch your kid grow. Mine was interested in Theater Tech starting with crew work in elementary school. She kept that up through middle school, and focused on lighting in high school, majored in Theater Tech/Design in college, and now is an MFA candidate in lighting. When some of her HS pals were pushing their way through a lot of AP classes with no clear goal other than college admission, she had a definite direction. That’s OK. She found her career a lot earlier than many of them did. Those pals have all found direction by now and are safely launched. Your kid might wake up one morning with a clear and certain purpose, or your kid might finish HS with no clear sense of a college major and find direction later on. Truly, it is OK.
College right after high school isn’t for everyone, and college isn’t for everyone. If your kid wants to enter a trade that is OK. If your kid wants a break between HS and college, that is OK too.
My oldest had an IEP from age 3-junior year in high school (when he switched then graduated with a 504 plan). In 8th grade he was a challenge to say the least.
Hes living in a dorm 3 hours from home in a tech school and doing awesome. He found his path!
You will have many feelings in the next few years. That first child who graduates is such an emotional time. You will be excited, sad, scared, and proud all at the same time.
Guide them to make wise choices in high school course selections, love them, let them find their own interests!
A suggestion from this forum that stuck with me was for families to utilize their local college campuses.
Find campus events you can enjoy with your young kids. Music, theater, sports, whatever might hold some interest.
Those informal visits can help to get kids familiar with colleges. So many times college is just an Idea to students, and not a reality. No college is perfect, and some kids Will prefer large vs small campuses, etc.
Do not mention anything about future college plans when you are on campus for an event. Just enjoy family time.